Do the right thing. Take her out to dinner and celebrate HER. If she freaks out, just say that you are celebrating that she was born and nothing is more pure love than that.
This is her first step.
my babe (wife's approved nickname) finally vented today because it was her birthday, which we couldn't acknowledge, and she feels really emotional that she never had a chance at a real career, may have wasted her life, etc.... she may be coming around a bit but now this is really uncharted territory!.
ironically i'm getting through to her but it's scaring the bajeebers out of me now!
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Do the right thing. Take her out to dinner and celebrate HER. If she freaks out, just say that you are celebrating that she was born and nothing is more pure love than that.
This is her first step.
spoke to cynthia the other day.
ray is with his publisher on a book tour in germany and eastern europe.
if you hail from that neck or the woods maybe you can shake his hand.. changeling.
Mouthy,
When you talk to him, tell him it changed my life too. I'll write him and tell him myself one of these days. Took a while for me to work up the courage to post here- writing to Ray is the next hurdle. Its good to hear that he is still out there making the case. I was a kid when he experienced what he experienced. But I always wondered about him- even years later at Bethel. What could make someone on the GB decide to leave it all behind?? What could someone that far on the inside do to get so far on the outs with the org that they would hunt him down and DF him for eating with someone. (Even when I was 10 that sounded fishy.) The curiosity eventually killed the cat.... and here I am.
Lrkr
do any of you with spouse or close family in ask the question?
regularly?.
i often ask the wife that question.
OTWO,
Hang in there- you're doing the right thing!! You don't know which comment will open her eyes and mind- each of us comes to understand at different times and for different reasons. (Sheesh- that sounds like the speech you give about someone learning the JW way)
Regarding the question- my wife and I will at times alternate going to the meeting (often separated by some weeks). The response from either of us is the same- "so and so said hi" "a lot of guilt in the WT today" "really beating the drum about college" "Such a doom and gloom public talk", "mind numbingly boring", etc. As you can see- we're at about the same level in detoxing- she may be ahead of me. We're mostly there for the old friends.
We're all pulling for you OTWO.
Lrkr
OK newly acquired pagan beliefs here:
What's so bad about covetousness?? Coveting things is the basis of capitalism and the modern economy. If people don't want things, people dont buy things, other people don't make things, the whole economy collapses.
Telling people they should mind their own business and not want things is old fashioned centralized control. Don't want what the king (priest, landlord, baron, insert other powerful personage here) has- just be happy and keep working.
Doesn't surprise me that it is a central facet of every ancient religion- which were taught, encouraged and promulgated by kings, etc (see list above).
q7) although some are afraid to speak in public or to attend a meeting, how do they show endurance?.
q22, 23) of what can you be sure as you await jehovah's day with endurance?.
official encouragement comes from the pages of the wts publications such as this fine example.. how would you respond?.
This is just another in the series of "Oh how bad we feel, how terrible everything is, how rotten, etc."
You have to believe that your life sucks to feel like you need the help of the WTS. So, even if your life is not so bad, if its a nice sunny day and you have interesting and good friends- YOUR NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH!!!!
There must be some reason you're suffering!!! YOU NEED TO SUFFER. Then the meetings will be important to you.
so as an elder, if you have left or are fading now, what specific things made you change your mind?
is there some thing that most regular meeting goers would not be privy to that made you change?
i know that you had your elder book, was there stuff in there that was out of line that made you stop and go "no way!"?.
Nothing secret affected me. It was what was written plain and simple for everyone. Armageddon- 95% of earths population will die, every government, civic, commercial institution will be removed- and then starts paradise...what the...???!!! Sounds like the holocaust times 500.
When you actually sit and ponder the great plan, its kinda scary.
Secret information didn't have anything to do with it. Allowing myself to ask honest questions, like I try to do in every other realm of life, did.
the recent success of the lawrence hughes v the wtbts lawyers has opened the possibility of the wtbts actually being sued for second degree murder.. it's a possibility, a slim one but still there.. so, do you believe the wtbts is responsible for giving out misleading information about blood transfusion that has been the cause of death among countless jehovah's witnesses.. i believe that since their inception the wtbts has acted like medical charlatans and if it were possible to count the deaths that ensued they would reach to high heaven.. so what do you think?.
is there the slimmest chance that they may finally be held accountable.. the judge in the bethany hughes case said their advice equaled telling a diabetic not to take insulin or telling a sick person not to take antibiotics and these people then dying.. are the people who matter, doctors, lawyers, judges etc finally waking up to the gigantic injustice that has been going on for far too long now?.
Maybe a minor point, but I think convincing a plaintiff's attorney to sue them for "wrongful death" would be much easier that convincing a prosecuting attorney to prosecute for "murder".
so i am not going to meetings, but am a fader.
the wife and i get invited to a wedding.
by friends from years back.
Great thread OTWO.
I imagine that your experience would have been different if they knew that you were not "around" any more. I have gotten sick of the false smiles/pity/"are you OK" thing.
As for "spiritual" conversation, we spent some time with my family recently and noticed that what qualifies as "spiritual" conversation is really gossip about who's getting divorced, who's getting married, who's not regular at meetings, etc. A real eye-opener. My wife is very interested in Jewish history and theology and eastern teachings. You will wait a long time before you hear any comments about any of these items among JWs. And if you bring the subject up, be prepared for blank stares.
i have read isocf and coc.
shocking, disturbing and twisted.
what do you all recommend for deprogramming.
PS- on the non- witness related book scene- Al Gore's book- The Assault on Reason is great.
I love "The Little Prince", "Angels and Demons" and "DaVinci Code" were excellent. OK sounds like the Hansaan books. I'm just not sure I'm interested in the 1914 books by Johhnson. I got it after reading CoC and ISOCF.
i have read isocf and coc.
shocking, disturbing and twisted.
what do you all recommend for deprogramming.
I have read ISOCF and CoC. Shocking, disturbing and twisted. What's next??? What do you all recommend for deprogramming. (I'm already reading Harry Potter- so don't say that)