by arker 15 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
So as an Elder, if you have left or are fading now, what specific things made you change your mind? Is there some thing that most regular meeting goers would not be privy to that made you change? I know that you had your Elder book, was there stuff in there that was out of line that made you stop and go "No Way!"?
I have seen others issues that seem to be typical, but as an Elder is there hidden things we don't know about?
The elder's book and the meetings with the C.O. became very legalistic. Footnotes kept
being added to the elder's book so as to protect the WTS legally, not naming them in anything
done or said.
Generally, the legalistic feelings got to me. I was involved in a judicial action where the elders
(two others with me) were led to using legalistic manuevers instead of simply doing what was
kindest and best for the victim of [supposed] sin.
Also, one thing that got to me was the letter in early 2006 that reminded me that elders are
a privileged clergy class. There was already a policy in place that elders were not automatically
removed if they were involved in "minor" sins. The letter reminded us of what was taught at the
most recent Kingdom Service School for elders. It stated that elders viewing pornography (on the
internet mostly) did not need to be removed if ..... (specific minor circumstances).
The letter did not give us the same leeway for pioneers or anyone else. Restrictions are always
applied in any case of [WTS defined] sin. If elders can duck out on restrictions, with WTS saying
that their "being used by Jehovah" since the sin took place is proof that they are still approved by
Jehovah, then they are a special privileged class. I wrote this in my letter to stop being an elder.
Any publisher should be able to say this- "Jehovah continued to use me afterward," but we always
had to reprove anybody else and apply restrictions.
Even the BOE action on my letter stepping aside was legalistic and pissed me off. "Well, Brother OTWO,
we will have to get approval from Headquarters to see if this is acceptable. You will remain an elder until
we get an answer from Mother."
I told them to do what they wanted, but I was done the moment I turned in that letter. I kept my mouth
shut to the publishers, as I didn't want these same guys to DF me later, but I refused to do any more
elder responsibilities, I withdrew entirely from the TMS, I didn't lead any groups in recruiting service. I
did nothing except clean the toilets and sweep and vaccuum the floors when asked to help. I commented
before and after the announcement of my removal (about 7 weeks after the letter was submitted) just so
the other members would know I wasn't on restrictions, but my comments were phrased carefully so that
I was not saying anything I felt was wrong.
Here's what finally woke me up.
First off, a well-kept secret: Each elder has to get a tattoo of a pentagram.....
Nah, nothing that dramatic. The elder's manual has been made available off and on over the years to internet users. I don't think there's anything in there that is specifically and dramatically faith-shaking on it's own. Or, at least no more than any other WT publication. But when you look at the whole package, you realize that, as an elder, you are one layer closer (organizationally) to the Great Oz. And you don't see any additional miraculous operation of the Holy Spirit. You realize how very human and political the behind the scenes operations are. Oh sure, there is an attempt made to have everything be "Bible based" but that's just one more element to add to the overall negotiation that is an Elder's Meeting. One guy will pull out a pet verse to try making his point. Another guy, will drag out his pet verse along with a WT quote that will trump the first guy. And on it goes. It's really a battle of wills, strategy and personalities much of the time.
Having said all that, not too long ago I heard a local elder mention how he has seen "the Spirit's Operation" so many times on our elder's meetings. I couldn't very well say that I hadn't seen it without "outing" myself. I guess when Cognitive Dissonance is at work, people truly see what they want to see.
The items OTWO mentioned I agree with. But they were just additional nails in the coffin for me.
Open Mind
Another guy, will drag out his pet verse along with a WT quote that will trump the first guy.
At elders' meetings, the WT quotes always trumped anyone's understanding of a scripture.
If the WT said that elders should only wear red suits on the platform, but never tell a single
publisher why they do so, the elders pointing to the scripture that discusses "moderate"
in habits, and "presenting yourself" to do God's Will- those elders would be shot down by
the WT quote, and they would all start wearing red suits.
This could take some time.
To be brief, I'll say I never experienced anything as a JW elder that led me to believe that a Higher Being was involved in the goings-on.
On the other hand, I observed much that would indicate that JWs are a diverse group of individuals, finding themselves together for many and varied reasons. Some sincere and kind. Some self-centered and abusive. In my opinion, a cross-section of society in general.
Things continually broke down for me when the issue of respecting the authority of the "faithful and discreet slave" and its agents arose. I saw the organization from the top to the bottom. Again, I saw nothing that suggested the influence of the "hand" of God.
I wanted desperately to believe. I lost my faith a little more with each passing day. Why was Jehovah allowing so much to go wrong, constantly? The only answer I ever got was...well you're not perfect either. Never said I was. LOL!
So many things contributed to my stepping down and eventual fade( a pretty quick one). Involvement in judicial proceedings against members of the congregation was especially eye-opening and very taxing emotionally. I was often encouraged to detach my emotions from the cases dealt with; no easy task for me. The decisions made were very clearly of human origin, but the accused were conditioned to see them as coming from Jehovah Himself.
What really gave it away for me is the fact that I continued to receive more and more assignments and responsibilities( DC talks and DC dept. overseer at the end of my "service") while my faith was eroding. Both my faith in God and in the organization. Couldn't Jehovah or Jesus read my heart? What was the Holy Spirit doing? It was laughable.
Much more to tell. That shall be for another time.
Open Mind wrote: "You realize how very human and political the behind the scenes operations are."
Exactly. There is nothing all that dramatic, just the realization that this is a very human organization being run by people who think they are guided by god. That can be scary.
You also come to realize that, while there are some very good people in the org, a good many of the elders are not very competent. There are people out there making life and death decisions for others, and a lot of them should NOT be in that position.
As an elder, and especially one who gets a lot of privileges, you get to see how the sausage is really made.
S4
not too long ago I heard a local elder mention how he has seen "the Spirit's Operation" so many times on our elder's meetings
You don't say ..... was it Jack Daniels, Malibu Rum, or Jose Cuervo?
In my view the elder arrangement is a shambles as far as the R&F are concerned but it's geared up well to serving the interests of the GB and the WTS in general.
They are not properly trained and professionally constituted to deal with the complex issues that members may face and they never "help" anyone unless by doing so they promote the interests of the org.
greendawn said: "In my view the elder arrangement is a shambles as far as the R&F are concerned but it's geared up well to serving the interests of the GB and the WTS in general. They are not properly trained and professionally constituted to deal with the complex issues that members may face and they never "help" anyone unless by doing so they promote the interests of the org."
I agree. As a former elder of many years, working at Bethel for a longtime and being a part of what I thought was the "little flock" (my grandsons call it something else), God is not really in the picture. It is not about "Jehovah", but about the organization and following procedures, rank and file, doing your best to serve the organization and making the circuit and district overseers happy.
I hope to have a book complete before I die about my experiences as an elder and the crap I saw over the years with the many changes in doctrine and policy.
Now that I think back about all this, no wonder there are so many JW's that are afflicted with schizophrenia.
"In my view the elder arrangement is a shambles as far as the R&F are concerned but it's geared up well to serving the interests of the GB and the WTS in general. They are not properly trained and professionally constituted to deal with the complex issues that members may face and they never "help" anyone unless by doing so they promote the interests of the org."
......It is not about "Jehovah", but about the organization and following procedures, rank and file, doing your best to serve the organization and making the circuit and district overseers happy.
This is really what every elder should notice. Most are much deeper into the doctrines and understandings
than other rank and file. Most pioneer sisters and other so-called deep students can explain the doctrine,
but all the elders see how to use it in talks, and see the politics in play, and hear the real reasons why the
legalistic rules are in place. Whatever the C.O. says- "YES SIR, RIGHT AWAY." is their answer.
Elders learn that the answer to every single problem of the publishers is to somehow do more for the
organization- make all your meetings, pray more, get out in service more, read the literature more.
