SINBOI- Very great points that you make. Some of us " older ones " as you mentioned lol ( I'm 58 yrs.old by the way ) who exited the cult many years ago ( 15 years in my case ) HAVE done many of the things you've recommended in your opening thread.
Many of us did show love to our JW parents after we left. They did see that we were happier, and we didn't do anything that might be " abhorrent " as you stated in front of them. Many here on the board are doing the things you say to do- and although you're right- it DOES help to some extent , still our JW relatives are under the influence of WT cult mind control where the power of WT influence is sometimes stronger on them than just our good example.
I've got 3 older siblings who are still in the JW cult and they were annoyed at me when I stood up on behalf on my JW mom when she was put into a care facility. I advocated home care so she could stay in her home , they pushed to institutionalize her . My JW mom appreciated my efforts though, but my efforts to make her life easier were overpowered by my other JW family that wanted her in a care facility.
Point I'm making is SINBOI- is that many JW's are actually a hell of a lot meaner and unkind than people out in the real world. They've lost their mental ability to feel true compassion , so if they do not respond to or appreciate our kindness, sometimes we shouldn't be surprised. I've lived this , so I know through experience.
That being said, I still agree that your way you suggest is the best way to be. Because you never know when one of our JW relatives hard heart will start melting and thawing the ice away to become the kind of relative and/or friend that we wanted in the first place. It takes time, cannot be forced, as our JW relatives have to see it themselves personally. But as you say we can set a good example for them and hope that someday it causes them to re-think how they've been trained or duped by the WT Society to hate us. Good thread, thanks for posting ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper