I am very sorry for you as I read your story. I do admire you for making an attempt for family relations and I do admire you for sharing your story to warn others.
One suggestion: If you cannot fade away slowly, then try fading away fast. Just walk away. You may lose connections with people, but you would lose them anyway in a slow fade. You may retain a good connection or two to family members if you were never disfellowshipped.
Good luck whatever path you take. Keep us posted and thanks for sharing.