Posts by Juniper

47

Am I In A Judicial Loophole? - advice please....

by Juniper in

jw
friends

i hope everyone is doing well.. .

is there anyone out there well-versed in the 'shepherd' book and judicial proceedings?.

a wee bit o' background..... i have been 'out' for about 3 years now.

Juniper

Hi All!!!!! I hope everyone is doing well.

Is there anyone out there well-versed in the 'shepherd' book and judicial proceedings?

A wee bit o' background....

I have been 'out' for about 3 years now. I was in the (quite lucky for me) position of moving to another state and doing a full 'fade' as I left. I don't even know where my records are, to tell the truth. I don't speak with any witnesses and make no claims to be a jw.

The only witnesses I speak with now are my folks. They recently learned of my 'unchristian' ways and are pressuring me to speak with the local congregation to (as far as I can understand) have them df me so my folks will know whether or not they can talk to me now. They want to have a relationship, but are confused by their 'love of the one true god'. (ACK!)

In my situation, can anyone disfellowship me if I have no contact with them? Can they df you if you don't go to the judicial meeting? Can I just not ever call the local kh to talk to the elders and live out my life in this loophole?

Curious what y'all know....

Thanks for the help! :)

17

Put me on the Awake - I'm an unwed mother now! :)

by Juniper in

jw
friends

ok all....here's my big news!

little old me, once-upon-a-time a 'need greater', a pioneer, an elder's wife......now i'm 5 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend!

:) my dear ma and pa have been hiding their heads in the sand and hoping for the last few years that i would go to meetings again.. i certainly hope that they'll be able to be excited about their first 'grandbaby'.

Juniper

Ok all....here's my big news! :)

Little old me, once-upon-a-time a 'need greater', a pioneer, an elder's wife......now I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my boyfriend! :) My dear ma and pa have been hiding their heads in the sand and hoping for the last few years that I would go to meetings again.

I certainly hope that they'll be able to be excited about their first 'grandbaby'. Anyone ever been in this situation before? This is a 'surprise-surprise' pregnancy....I'm wondering how to break the news to my folks.

Advice, anyone?......

24

What percentage of witnesses do you think have viewed apostate web sites?

by Paralipomenon in

jw
friends

humans are naturally curious creatures.

we learn from experience better than words.

so with the internet in almost every witness home, and the society constantly harping on people to avoid it, how many do you think have at least checked it out?

Juniper

I sure did! :) But I also remember feeling like people would 'find out'. As if they could know just by looking at me.

The few times that I did look at those websites, I was so nervous I could hardly think straight. I doubt any of the information actually sank in at the time.

That, in itself, should have been a wake up call for me.

6

So, why did I do this again? :)

by Juniper in

jw
friends

so, i've been in a fade for two years now.

i moved to a new area and never had my cards forwarded, so it's been an easy fade, apart from the family drama that comes with it.. my question is this: .

i left jw's (was a pioneer and elder's wife) because i knew i had never beleived it.

Juniper

Hi all! :)

So, I've been in a fade for two years now. I moved to a new area and never had my cards forwarded, so it's been an easy fade, apart from the family drama that comes with it.

My question is this:

I left jw's (was a pioneer and elder's wife) because I knew I had never beleived it. It was just something I always did to appease my family/husband. Now that I'm out, I'd like to get some information for myself regarding WHY it's wrong. For the last two years, I've felt more free and happy than I ever have as a jw. I can't believe I put off leaving for so long!

Where do you all recommend doing research on the WTBS? I'll be honest, I've gone back to college and don't have a lot of time to research this on the net. But I'd like to educate myself a bit on what exactly is 'amiss' with the 'society'. I know they're loonies......but why?

Could any of you point me to a simple explanation of some of the 'biggest no-no's' the WTBS has been involved in?

I appreciate any help from you all. I've gotten so much encouragement from this site. Leaving jw-ville can leave you feeling a bit like a refugee at times. But this site has been a huge help for me to feel like I'm not alone. My friends try to understand what this is like for me, but just reading all your posts and experiences has made me feel like I'm not alone in this. So for that, thank you!!!!

Love to all of ya's

Juniper

21

If We Were All In The Same Circuit, Do You Think We Would've Been Friends?

by minimus in

jw
friends

we've made a lot of friends here and have enjoyed the company and opinions of one another, so my question is, do you think we would've all hit it off so well had we known each other on a more personal, visible basis?

Juniper

Oh jeez, I dunno. I was the 'goody-goody' with a part on every assembly and convention....

I prolly would've been too busy taking notes and controlling my 'fleshly desires' to talk to anyone. :)

Point is, we're all here now..............and isn't that much better than meeting at the convention?

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

Juniper

I didn't read all the answers but it sounds to me like he needs a "Time Out".
Usually when someone has a big decision to make they should get away from both parties and straighten out their brain.That way they will be responsible for any decision they make.They also won't be influenced by either party.

Thanks for the advice! :)

I talked to him last night and again this morning. I told him that he needs some time to think about it and decide what he's going to do. I just simply said that I love him and I want what's best for him and what's best for his little boy. Then we left it that he needs to go do what he feels he needs to do. He knows he's welcome to call me regarding a reconciliation if he decides he's finally given her her 'last chance' for good. But he also knows I may or may not be able to take him back.

We're both very sad. But we both know that we could never be together unless he cleared up the doubt in his head first.

I'll let y'all know if we are ever 'more than friends' again. :)

Ok then, I'm off to do the heartbreak routine... ice cream, sappy movies, and depressing rock ballads...

Thanks to all of you for your support.

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

Juniper

I don't think that this is about him loving you or not, I think it's about his fear for his son.

Thank you, Eclipse! I'm so glad that someone understands that.

That's been the point of this all. He has told me that he doesn't love her anymore. He's told me that he feels that we have the potential of having a long-lasting, secure relationship...but of course, it's early yet. I believe him. But he also feels that trying to make amends with the ex will sort of 'rein her in' when it comes to her tendency to make quick and unhealthy decisions. She's not an 'unfit' mother in the full sense, but she's disfunctional when it comes to life decisions.

He knows I understand his situation. I was married for 9 years, and spent the last 4 of those years in misery waiting for MY mr. x to come to his senses. I stayed far beyond the point of love simply because of an obligation I felt was there. Of course, now I have no doubts that I didn't do my part to try and make it work...but at the time, when our marriage ended, I still felt like I was to blame.

He feels an obligation to his son, but it's becoming misplaced. His parents had difficulties raising him separately, and I think he is sensitive because of that. He's a good man. But like me, his sense of obligation is outreaching what is reasonable.

I hope he can see that, but it's not my place to make him see it.

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

Juniper

I feel that if he makes a decision not to go, then he's learned from his past mistakes.

If he decides to go back to her, then to me that means he truly prefers living in chaos.

This decision is going to tell me a lot about the man he is, and the man he wants to be. I won't wait for him or take him back if he chooses her and it doesn't work out. He knows that.

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

Juniper

Thanks for the input, all. :)

I'm doing some serious thinking about this one, that's for sure.

I asked him to make a final decision this week and to let me know what that is.

I gave him some things to think about while he makes his decision. He told me that his 'hangup' is that he is battling feeling 'obligated' to take her back, in the hopes that it is better for his little boy. He's worried about her running off and getting tangled up with some 'yahoo' that will mistreat his son - and feels that it might be 'the high road', even if it's what he doesn't want to do. I wondered out loud if their 'reunion' would in any way guarantee that it would never happen, as they had a volatile relationship right from the start.

He agreed that the chances of them staying together are pretty slim. He also knows that I am not, and never have been the type to leave 'when the going gets tough'. To me, the decision is simple, but I understand he has some guilt issues because of his son. He's a wonderful father, and his little boy is living proof of that.

I told him to think seriously about it, make a final decision, and I'll respect whatever that decision is.

In the meantime, if any of you all happen to have a crystal ball...........might I borrow it? :) j/k, hahah!

42

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

by Juniper in

i've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now.

i recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend.

(who is going through a divorce of her own right now) they have a two year old son together.. he says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her.

Juniper

I don't think he trusts her at all, actually. During the 3 years that they were together, she left him numerous times. Then she ran off to 'get back at him', and married a man six months later. She sounds like a total train wreck.

He already has his son 3 days a week, so he has a relationship with him. But he has a lot of guilt, and feels that maybe it would work 'this time' if they got back together. She claims she's 'learned her lesson' and wants him to forgive her for the past. I think she's just scared of being alone and is going through a divorce.

I hate being in the middle of this, since I love him and obviously want him to stay with me.