HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

Juniper

I've been seeing an amazing man for a few months now. I recently found out that before we met, my boyfriend had been thinking about getting back together with his ex-girlfriend. (who is going through a divorce of her own right now) They have a two year old son together.

He says that if his child weren't involved, he wouldn't even consider going back to her. But now he says he's torn because he is in love with me, but he also wants to do what's right for his child.

I don't know what to say to him. I'm terrified that he'll take her back, we have a great relationship/chemistry together. We both feel that there is a strong potential for us to have a long lasting relationship. But I also understand that his motives are also driven out of love for his son.

Should I try to convince him to stay with me? Or should I let him decide without any influence from me? I'm afraid this whole thing will turn into a battle of 'who fights for him harder'. I'm not like that, if he chooses me, I want it to be because he loves me, not because I had the 'better argument'.

Any advice, anyone?

mrsjones5

Wait. I don't think it's wise to get back together with someone you don't trust, especially if there is a child involved.

nvrgnbk

Kick him in the crotch.

bigdreaux

make the decision easy for him. tell him you need to know your the only one. he can be there for his kid without getting back with the ex. if you truly do have good chemistry and are right for each other, there will be no question. the fact he is even considering it would send me running.

Juniper

I don't think he trusts her at all, actually. During the 3 years that they were together, she left him numerous times. Then she ran off to 'get back at him', and married a man six months later. She sounds like a total train wreck.

He already has his son 3 days a week, so he has a relationship with him. But he has a lot of guilt, and feels that maybe it would work 'this time' if they got back together. She claims she's 'learned her lesson' and wants him to forgive her for the past. I think she's just scared of being alone and is going through a divorce.

I hate being in the middle of this, since I love him and obviously want him to stay with me.

bigdreaux

no offense sweetie, but, he's an emotional wreck. i know it sucks, but, get out now. your heading towards nothing but heartache.

nvrgnbk

"Relationship" and relationship are two very different things.

Stay with him.

It's cool that you're willing to share.

Too few girls are like that.

mrsjones5

Actually you're not in the middle of this. It's all about him, his ex and that baby. You feel like you're in the middle cuz you want him.

I would run...

Josie

Mum

He doesn't sound like a real catch to me. He doesn't seem to know who he is or what his priorities are. I think you should be able to do better. Advise him to get into counseling. Then run for the hills (or the city or the beach).

Attachment is not the meaning of life; there's so much more. If by chance you find someone to share your journey with, good for you.

Regards,

SandraC

flipper

This guy is weak. Don't waste any more time with him. The loss will be painful for a while but you will have a better life. mrs flipper

HELP - my boyfriend's ex called and wants them to reconcile....what to do?

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