I was fortunate enough not to really require an all out "fade". Mine lasted only a few months, and the hints, (from me), came quickly and progressively.
This is not the case, for many, if not most ex-jws. If I learned one thing after leaving, it's that moral absolutes, (even with good principles, such as honesty), don't really exist. The principles behind them do, (it is generally good to be honest), and it is good to follow them. However, there is a fine line between being morally upright, in terms of honesty, and being fanatical, in terms of honesty's definition. The way I look at this, is like this, if the end result causes more hurt, (to self, others, etc), then maybe the best route is to keep the peace, and quietly fade, even if it involves a level of deception.
How far should one go, is anyones guess. Personally, I find it a bit hard to accept those who continue to "play the game", as they would as if a full-fledged dub, (i.e. still an elder, still giving talks, still in FS). But even then, who am I to have an opinion about their situation. I don't know the how's and why's, for their so doing.
j