by Bumble Bee 41 Replies latest jw experiences
I think for me, it was the dysfunctional family. Things from my childhood are finally getting to me. I've tried for so long to just push them to the back of my mind. I thought I'd dealt with it all, but recent events have told me otherwise. I have no doubt that being raised a JW has alot to do with things, but it seems to be the lesser of the two evils. I need to deal with these things and am considering therapy.
BB
A slightly dysfunctional family magnified by a cult.
Growing up in the cult.
I must say that I have a wonderful family. We've definitely had our ups and alot of downs, but I must say that the unhealthy childhood the organization promotes for youth can be most damaging. I feel just now that i'm finally breaking out of my shell, that i'm just now experiencing life.
What's the difference?
I think theres an argument that every family in the cult are in some way dysfunctional.
For me I think it was the cult affecting my family that made things turn out the way they did. As it is now, I have my dad and my brother left in the cult and a brother, a sister and my mum are free.
I think the dysfunction of the religion, suited the dysfunction of my parents. It just gave them a means of having the authority to make it last longer, and justify more of the insanity. It would have been weird even without the religion. In my case the religion was far more toxic for me than most because the elders went out of there way to nail me whenever they could, for even the slightest infraction. My brother has been a witness for 42 years and has told me that he has never seen a witness get it the way I did. They were double doses of an equally toxic enviornment.
I think that the cult contributed to the dysfunction in my family. One, my father never was a believer. This alone put a strain on an already unhappy marriage. And when two people stay in a troubled marriage "for the sake of the kids" it's never a good thing.
I would never blame all my problems on the cult. It's just that growing up in the cult only added fuel to the fire so to speak. Good topic.
BFD
R.F. - Glad to hear you are breaking out of your shell and experiencing life! Good for you!
sweetface - for me there was a big difference. My parents were not your typical "all in" fanatical JW's. It was what when on inside the home, not the KH that was the worst for me. Even if my parents were not JW's, what I experienced growing up would not have changed.
PaulJ - glad to hear some of your family has left! I think every family has some degree of dysfunction.
Tyrone -
I think the dysfunction of the religion, suited the dysfunction of my parents.
Good way to put it!
BB
my family was disfunctional...
but definately I am affected more by the cult...
BB, I've not yet read the replies, I just read your post... I'll go back and read them in a few minutes.
I think there are those here that have grown up in an otherwise normal family (other than the religion/cult involvement), and then there are those of us that were not only in the cult but ALSO in a twisted "family" arrangement. I was one of those. I'm out of BOTH now.
I don't yet know which affected me more.. I think each affected me in different ways, neither of which were good. In the long run, I think the family issues will be the long-term and more in-depth issues, because deep down inside I WANT a normal, loving, nurturing, supportive extended family... and I will never have that. I'm just, along with my wife, trying to make sure my kids and my grandkids (once we have them) have what I didn't.
Oh, and the reason I wanted to reply right away: definitely do the therapy, especially if YOU are "thinking" you might want to. I've been seeing a therapist for over two years now, and it's been very helpful to me. Will write more later, after I get to read everyone's fine comments to your post.
TJ
