I am so upset I don't know where to begin! I met this guy back in Dec. at my job, during the first week I started. (I had a post in the past about my dating him, he's a JW) Everything was going cool, except for the fact that: 1) he had a second job as a Producer/DJ and 2) he didn't have a car, he had to borrow his parents car. but it was ok as long as we were together. We got along from the start. We could talk about everything, he made me laugh all the time, at work we would take break or lunch together, he would call everynight, etc. I started to fall in love with him, but I didn't want to tell him to early, I wanted to wait til at least 5 months to say the "L" word.
He made many promises to me and since I trusted him, I believed him. He promised that as soon as he gets his own car, we'll get to do more things together. He told me how much he cared for me and the main thing was that he promised that he would not do anything to hurt me. Sometime in May, he finally got his own car. At one time all he could talk about (besides his love for music) was getting a car. And I was so happy for him, hell I was excited. He took me to the dealership to show me which one he was getting and everything. All of the sudden after about a week. He tells me that we should be "just friends", because now he has a ride, he's going to be in the studio more and take on more DJ gigs. So he's not gonna have time for me. Oh but he does tell me that its not that he dosen't want to be with me, cause he do, or that he dosen't care for me cause he do, its just he's going to be busy.
We were on the phone when he told me this, (He couldn't face me like a man) so I just burst into tears. It felt like a kick to the chest. But then he made more promises. He says he'll still call everynight and if he does get some available time he'll let me know, so we can plan something. Now its been about two months and i've tried to pretend i'm ok, but I still cry about it. at work I try to ignore him, but he comes to me and says hello or ask why i'm not talking to him. One time he asked me, and I quote, "How do you think I feel when you won't talk to me or when I say 'hi' you don't answer back?" then he called me shady for being that way! I told him I can't be friends with him because i have deep feelings for him. He dosen't understand why we can't be friends. He tells me that he dosen't want me out of his life, that he don't want to say goodbye. How is that?!!
By the way the phone calls have stopped over 3 weeks ago, and I admit i've asked a few times if he will be available yet so we can go out. Now he's too busy to pick up a phone. I just see him at work and thats it. What happpened reciently that really has me so hurt was when I asked him what he did this past weeekend and he told me he went to the movies, to the baseball game and bowling. Call me crazy but didn't he say that when he had available time he would let me know? So I figure he dosen't care about me, dosen't want to be with me and i'm starting tothink the time we spent together was just to fill in the void since he couldn't do his producing too much. I've been so depressed. At work I walk around like a zombie, I don't function right, I cry. Again he comes up to me and ask me why am I so sad. WHAT?!!! How could he?! I used to be the one at work always smiling, joking around, but he's taken away my happiness.
In closing I would like to know, How could someone who claims to be a servant of God do this to me? How could he talk about the bible or witness to people with a straight face knowing he's hurt someone that he says he care about? Is this what they teach in the Kingdom Hall, to be decietful?! To hurt people?! But he still wants me in his life. What did I do to him? Why do men have to be like this?
Sorry its so long!!!!