EAGLE-1

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Posts by EAGLE-1

• 
  17

  If the Bible is in such a mess is the Quoran God's final version?

  by Spectrum in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  at least this is what the muslims claim.

  until i had come on this forum i didn't have a clue as to what complex and convoluted problems biblical text offers upon scholarly examination.

  i never took the muslim claim seriously i was quite derisory about the whole thing but now i have to give it more thought.

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  EAGLE-1

  Mein Kampf for Arabs and the like.I read it.
• 

  Flying

  by EAGLE-1 in

  1. social
  2. humour

  > attendant crew, the pilot said, "ladies and.

  > wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the.

  > 16. another flight attendant's.

• 

  EAGLE-1

  > All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort
  > to make the in-flight
  > safety lecture" and announcements a bit more
  > entertaining. Here are some
  > real examples that have been heard or reported:
  >
  >
  >
  > 1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no
  > assigned seating, you just
  > sit where you want) passengers were apparently
  > having a hard time choosing,
  > when a flight attendant announced, "People, people
  > we're not picking out
  > furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
  >
  >
  >
  > 2. On a Continental Flight with a very
  > "senior" flight
  > attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and
  > gentlemen, we've reached
  > cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin
  > lights. This is for
  > your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your
  > flight attendants."
  >
  >
  >
  > 3. On landing, the stewardess said,
  > "Please be sure to take
  > all of your belongings. If you're going to leave
  > anything, please make sure
  > it's something we'd like to have.
  >
  >
  >
  > 4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your
  > lover, but there are
  > only 4 ways out of this airplane"
  >
  >
  >
  > 5. "Thank you for flying Delta
  > Business Express. We hope you
  > enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed
  > taking you for a ride."
  >
  >
  >
  > 6. As the plane landed and was coming
  > to a stop at Ronald
  > Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
  > "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
  >
  >
  >
  > 7. After a particularly rough landing
  > during thunderstorms in
  > Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight
  > announced, "Please take
  > care when opening the overhead compartments because,
  > after a landing like
  > that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
  >
  >
  >
  > 8. From a Southwest Airlines
  > employee: "Welcome aboard
  > Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat
  > belt, insert the metal
  > tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just
  > like every other seat
  > belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you
  > probably shouldn't be
  > out in public unsupervised."
  >
  >
  >
  > 9. "In the event of a sudden loss of
  > cabin pressure, masks
  > will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab
  > the mask, and pull it
  > over your face. If you have a small child traveling
  > with you, secure your
  > mask before assisting with theirs. If you are
  > traveling with more than one
  > small child, pick your favorite."
  >
  >
  >
  > 10. "Weather at our destination is 50
  > degrees with some
  > broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed
  > before we arrive. Thank you,
  > and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more
  > than Southwest Airlines.
  >
  >
  >
  >
  > 11. "Your seat cushions can be used
  > for flotation; and, in
  > the event of an emergency water landing, please
  > paddle to shore and take
  > them with our compliments."
  >
  >
  >
  > 12. "As you exit the plane, make sure
  > to gather all of your
  > belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed
  > evenly among the flight
  > attendants. But please do not leave children or
  > spouses."
  >
  >
  >
  > 13. And from the pilot during his
  > welcome message: "Delta
  > Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight
  > attendants in the
  > industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this
  > flight!"
  >
  >
  >
  > 14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just
  > after a very hard
  > landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came
  > on the intercom and
  > said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all
  > are thinking. I'm here
  > to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't
  > the pilot's fault, it
  > wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the
  > asphalt."
  >
  >
  >
  > 15. Overheard on an American Airlines
  > flight into Amarillo,
  > Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During
  > the final approach, the
  > Captain was really having to fight it. After an
  > extremely hard landing, the
  > Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
  > welcome to Amarillo. Please
  > remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened
  > while the Captain taxis
  > what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
  >
  >
  >
  > 16. Another flight attendant's
  > comment on a less than perfect
  > landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as
  > Captain Kangaroo bounces us
  > to the terminal."
  >
  >
  >
  > 17. An airline pilot wrote that on
  > this particular flight he
  > had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.
  > The airline had a policy
  > which required the first officer to stand at the
  > door while the Passengers
  > exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying
  > our airline." He said that
  > in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time
  > looking the passengers
  >
  > in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart
  > comment. Finally
  > everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady
  > walking with a cane.
  > She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a
  > question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said
  > the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said,
  > "Did we land, or were we
  > shot down?"
  >
  >
  >
  > 18. After a real crusher of a landing
  > in Phoenix, the
  > attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen,
  > please remain in your seats
  > until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the
  > aircraft to a screeching
  > halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has
  > cleared and the warning
  > bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can
  > pick your way through
  > the wreckage to the terminal."
  >
  >
  >
  > 19. Part of a flight attendant's
  > arrival announcement: "We'd
  > like to thank you folks for flying with us today.
  > And, the next time you get
  > the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in
  > a pressurized metal tube
  > we hope you'll think of US Airways."
  >
  >
  >
  > 20. Heard on a Southwest Airline
  > flight. "Ladies and
  > gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section
  > on this airplane is on
  > the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke
  > 'em."
  >
  >
  >
  > 21. A plane was taking off from
  > Kennedy Airport. After it
  > reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain
  > made an announcement
  > over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is
  > your captain speaking.
  > Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York
  > to Los Angeles. The
  > weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have
  > a smooth and uneventful
  > flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"
  > Silence followed, and after a
  > few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom
  > and said, "Ladies and
  >
  > Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
  > While I was talking to you
  > the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of
  > hot coffee in my lap.
  > You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger
  > in Coach yelled, "That's
  > nothing. You should see the back of mine.

  :
• 
  15

  Scary demon stories to encourage meeting attendance!

  by freetosee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ive been free for about 10 years now, though not disfellowshiped.

  and some time ago i accommodated an elder (friend of the family) who was visiting from the caribbean.

  after trying different ways to encourage me, he and my father (both elders) chose demon stories it frighten me back to jehovah.

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  EAGLE-1

  I love Blackadder.Been shown here on PBS.
• 
  15

  I got a Huge compliment yesterday........

  by whyamihere in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one of the salons i go to asked me if i would like to be a model for a new product....(skin tanning product).

  they want to take pictures of me, and have me up in some of their salons.

  i don't get paid, but i get a few perks!

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  EAGLE-1

  Can I put the lotion on????? Pleeze.......................Good luck....
• 
  20

  *Gawd I Am SO Embarrassed*

  by Legolas in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the lady that is buying our house had an appraiser come here today what was supposed to be 10:30!

  so 10:00 i finished cleaning up and i was hot so i was just walking around in my underwear ( i had my pants downstairs with me though..lol) and i was in our office which is in the front of the house by the front door, which no one uses, when the door bell rang...so i walked past the front door, not looking out at the door into the living room to hurry up and put my pants on...i ran to the side door and no one was there!...then it hit me...he's at the front door!

  gawd i hope that he didn't see me...

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  EAGLE-1

  LoL.....I used to have a pair of shorts that were red and white.I also had a pair of boxers with the usual open front but no buttons but same pattern in a way and red and white too.Accidently answered door wearing these underwear.Thought I was wearing shorts.The lady looked all crazy.......Oh Im sorry.Give me a sec.........
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  51

  I realize people hear lack faith, Can't change them, but may this will help

  by jw in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  the apostle paul told the christians in the ancient city of philippi: "this is what i continue praying, that your love may abound yet more and more with accurate knowledge and full discernment.

  philippians 1:9

  similarly, accurate knowledge is needed for you to be motivated to believe in god.

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  EAGLE-1

  I lack Faith.Hell I lack all women.I even lack you I think.I miss Faith.She wuz kinda purty
• 
  55

  Were Most Of The Elders Dumb--- That You Knew???

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'd say out of 10 elders, the average "sharp" ones are 2 or 3.

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  EAGLE-1

  Hell YEA
• 
  32

  Guess what I found

  by Lady Lee in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  they haven't knocked on my door but either they have gotten in or someone in the building is one.. i live in a russian seniors residence.

  almost everyone is russian and most of them speak only russian.. i saw this in the hall outside the elevators and snatched it up before someone else decided to take it home and read

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  EAGLE-1

  Good idea.KGB s not around anymore to protect us from jdubskis.
• 
  30

  Hello, I am new here...I think!?!?!?

  by Kero-kero in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello everyone.. i am new to this forum...at least i think i am...i swear that i joined before and left a message...but maybe i was just dreaming.. anyway, i am, what seems to be termed in this forum, a fading jw.

  my wife is still a jw and when i try to talk to her she will go on about me becoming an apostate, but i have learnt so much about the wtbts these last few months that fading and leaving is so easy for me now.

  i know that there is a lot of hate and false stuff said about the wtbts but also a lot of things are true, like the famous ngo business and being a shareholder of a company that produces parts that are used in weapons.

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  EAGLE-1

  hi
• 
  42

  new girl

  by Ariel84 in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  EAGLE-1

  Hi Mermaid.Welcome