Under_believer,
You will find no ill-judgement here, my friend. You must do what you feel you must. When the pain of your situation becomes unbearable; the stress of duplicity, of hiding yourSelf, of hiding from yourSelf, you will have no more choice then you did when you were born from your mother. But these things cannot be rushed anymore than a fetus can be ripped from the womb without damage. You may wander the void for many many years or lifetimes or you may wake up tomorrow and shed your trappings. The choice and your life are yours.
Do what thou wilt.
We are here.....
We are here. Voices and ears and helping hands when you reach for us in the dark path you now tread.
Love and Much Light, my friend...
~Brigid