I left the jw's in '96, got df'd in '97. My ex husband was an elder, pioneer and all around selfish person. first few years were ok, then we moved to "where the need is great" in an inner city cong. he promised me if i didn't like it there after a year, we could move back to our old cong. the people were great and nice, but it was culture shock for me, and things started going bad. when i asked to move back, he said no, he wasn't used enough in our old cong. waited almost another year before i left him. that whole experience proved to me what was wrong with the org. he wouldn't allow me to talk about our "problems" with other elders since it would look bad on him, so the problems remained. i got no help or support from anyone. there was one elder in my judicial committee who really understood but by then it was too late, i was so dissillusioned about "caring for the flock". My ex even went so far as to construe scripture (which he did often) so he could sit on the committe and hear the private goings-on! thankfully they said no. it wasn't until about a year later that i started questioning the teachings and doctrines. now i see what a mistake it all had been. I put my family through some rough times since i came from a Catholic upbringing. I don't regret leaving since. finding sites like these has helped immensely.