We went to visit my Dad's family and I got into my Aunt's purse and ate all her chocolate she had squirrled away in there. I don't remember how old I was, not old enough to read apparently because I ate a whole freaking box of X-LAX! My incredibly cruel, evil, and heartless brother told me that if I did not drink gallons of water, I would surely die. Dixie cup after Dixie cup all night long I drank till I was horribly sick and water logged. Everyone laughed at me! Sleep with one eye open I know where you live and I'll get you back someday IP_SEC
colorado5591
JoinedPosts by colorado5591
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36
embarassing things you did as a child...
by candidlynuts inok spill it... its good for you..let it all out.. tell us..what embarassing things did you do as a kid?.
i have many many many many stories.. ( you dont think i got this disfunctional easily did you?
lol).
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How To Enjoy Assemblies By Being Rebellious
by metatron in1. go out to lunch at every session.
bring back bags of fast food that say "burger king".
or "mcdonalds" on them.
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colorado5591
Wear a badge with the name of your most loathed congregational enemy and ask attendants to direct you to the smoking section. Make sure name and congregation are printed rather clearly. In fact, commit many random acts of rebellion and apostacy with that badge on...
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Name Some Trivial Things That Are Big Deals To JWs
by minimus inso many things come to mind to show how silly jws sound in reality.
for example, being allowed to pass the microphones is a big deal, especially to a young brother.
or being given the "privilege" of cutting the grass or working on a "quick-build" is really something special to a jw.
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colorado5591
Conventions! Digesting the food at the proper time we have gleaned from the faithful and discreet slave
Having to wear your DC lapel badge in a very conspicuous fashion from sunrise on Friday till sunset on Sunday.
Working in the hoagie assembly line at the convention...putting the cheese on was the best job! -
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So i'm at the meeting tonight......or what's weak this week
by JV inwhere to start my rant and rave?
oh where to start, let me see......hmmm.............. well during the school we had the typical fare, i'm sure you're all familiar with it, the " can you do more???
" talk.
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colorado5591
JWs don't study.
They belong in 3 groups?
Blondie, only 3 groups? BAH! I find that comment highly offensive! Where do you get off forgetting the group I was in? group 4!?
those who underline their WT during the public talk, and sleep through the WT study.
Group 4 UNITE! -
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silly pet names
by desbah in.
k....ppl what silly name did you give to your dog,cat,hamster,rabbit or horse?.
i named my dog.....holy cow....
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colorado5591
Catbo was am awesome cat! like a cat with superfeline powers huh? What about Jumper Cat?...you forgot her.
I have a cat named Bodagget in honor of Napoleon Dynamite.
She was attacking my ankles one day and I scolded her saying "get off me you freakin bodagget!"
It all made perfect sense at the time. Her nickname is preeeow kitty for obvious reasons -
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colorado5591
Sleeping late
good coffee
driving fast
green lights
finding forgotten money in a coat pocket
learning from mistakes
good hair days
cold beer on a hot day
finding your soulmate
multiple orgasms
laughing and crying at the same time
and last but not least....
going to the Burger King drive through with your free stuff you won on the Star Wars game pieces and they forget to ask you to hand em over
that last one is gonna make me rich someday, I can feel it! Stick it to the man! -
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a silly joke to share....
by PaulJ in.
mr tortoise is walking down the street when he is mugged by a gang of snails.. the police interview mr tortoise after the attack and ask him if he could describe his assailants.. "im afraid not" said mr tortoise, "it all happened so fast............".
its old and silly, but it still makes me laugh....
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colorado5591
....As told by my cousin.....
Why wasn't Jesus born in Mexico?
I demand that you laugh uncontrollably in 5 4 3 2 1.... -
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So i'm at the meeting tonight......or what's weak this week
by JV inwhere to start my rant and rave?
oh where to start, let me see......hmmm.............. well during the school we had the typical fare, i'm sure you're all familiar with it, the " can you do more???
" talk.
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colorado5591
I think douchebagginess comes after the assimilation and elderfication. Those who are already douchelike upon being knighted elder climb the ranks faster.
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car pool?
by carla inhow does the car pool thing work with someone who is going for the first time?
he claims it is with two guys.
i have seen otherwise on many boards.
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colorado5591
I think it must more of a guideline because I auxpio'd in a certain nameless congregation in California and was occasionally paired with the congregation hottie or his equally hot brother... licks her chops and reminisces upon those days of innocence.
What really struck me as different because they had already had an issue of 2 single persons who got naughty on the sly when they were supposed to be on the street...
You know who I refer to, don't you, Monkeyprincess....... -
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Would you go?
by Mysterious inwould you go to a funeral at a kingdom hall?
would it have to be someone that is very close family or just an acquaintance?.
i dont know that jw funerals really off ther much closer and point blank i can not think of a single person i would go to the hall for.
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colorado5591
I was graciously allowed to go to my fathers funeral the KH. Even if the elders made a stink, I'd have gone anyways. I don't think Ill be welcomed back soon tho... My mom says I can't go to her wedding unless I am reinstated. No biggie, I missed the first one she had to my dad, maybe I can crash the reception with my brother IP_SEC