Posts by carla

58

Non JW wife/JW husband Christmas tree debate

by spacegirl443 in

jw
friends

first post here and looking for advice and help.

sorry in advance for it being so long :(.

i'm a happily married woman (no kids) who is a non-jw, presbyterian to be precise.

carla

I think you must understand as well that if he recently went back to the org or has recently been to an assembly or convention he will be in high dub mode for awhile. Carry on as usual and try your best to minimize the cult effects. Meaning, ignore his super dubness for now, it will fade in short bit. They seem to go in cycles according to whatever the recent message is. You can actually determine ahead of time just where your jw is emotionally and 'spiritually' by what they are studying at any given moment. It seems to go on a yearly recycle (in my mind anyway) and some months I dread because I know this will be a doom and gloom month or a very judgmental month, or time to be a hardass 'they deserve it ' mentality. Unfortunately you will come to know this ahead of time if you research and keep somewhat up to date and sadly it becomes part of normal life.

If they are in super dub mode full of gloom and doom have ready some really uplifting human interest type stories! Stories of regular people helping others, being selfless and you will be cheerful and so full of love and hope at these stories that he will be disgusted and let the whole conversation drop. Back to what's for dinner if you must......

If you absolutely must have a conversation then use the scripture Romans 14:5- NIV -One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike. Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.

Under no circumstance should you ever accept the NWT as an acceptable Bible translation. jw's will accept other translations but you must not accept their perverted version. I think they will, reluctantly, accept the King James if you are acceptable to that. My jw did accept Revised Standard Edition at one time. Who knows now though.

It is very odd, we went through sheer hell (and that is being charitable) when he joined up and years later he seems able to separate his jw-ism and normal life. Like living 2 different lives sometimes. But, make no mistake jw-ism is always right under the skin of things, always. We often have conversations that we both know are jw related but never mention actual jw/religious things. It is a weird dance we have developed over the years and I do not recommend it for anybody. I still remember our pre jw relationship and still miss it to this day.

I just want to shake your jw and mine and say what the hell is wrong with you? wake up. That doesn't work, trust me on this one.

Wish I had a magic wand for you and all the rest of us with loved ones caught in this cult.

Hope springs eternal, maybe one day.

58

Non JW wife/JW husband Christmas tree debate

by spacegirl443 in

jw
friends

first post here and looking for advice and help.

sorry in advance for it being so long :(.

i'm a happily married woman (no kids) who is a non-jw, presbyterian to be precise.

carla

I am a ubm (unbelieving mate) as well. My jw joined up years and years after we were married, our kids were lets say pre teen or so. My feeling is that the house/apartment is half mine and I will do as I please with it. If it bothers him that for a few weeks out of the year there are Christmas decorations & tree all throughout the house then that is a darn shame. He knew before we were married that I celebrated Christmas (as did he). Halloween? Easter? same thing except he usually steals the kids candy.

Why don't I follow the whole 'he is the head of the house routine'? in my mind that scripture is for Christians (and usually taken completely out of context but that is a different matter) and I do not consider jw's as Christian in any sense of the word therefore it has no meaning in our relationship.

As for jw litter-ature in the house, if he ever left jw rags lying around I would then leave the most vile jw crime/pedophile printout or apostate books out. Yes, it can cause ww3 for a short while but it has become an unspoken rule in our home, no literature for or against out in public view, ever. Your home should be a sanctuary for the two of you, a neutral zone if you will. Once the war is over and a truce is called it will calm down and can even be good again.

Think long and hard before you have children with him. Do lots of research about how difficult it is living with a jw. Research how many people have lost their children due to shunning and the blood issue before allowing your child to step foot in a kh. Personally I never allowed my kids anywhere near a kh because I knew about pedophile problem, shunning, spiritual and mental abuses. It was a long road and nobody will ever know how hard it was to keep them out or to what lengths I had to go through to keep them safe from this cult. Paid off in the end, my kids are well adjusted and have chosen a life of Christianity and still love their jw dad. (the kids also do not consider jw's as Christian because a jw has to go through the org and the gb to have any hope of a salvation whereas a Christian believes Jesus is the way to their salvation rather than mere men or an organization)

If you should have children with him let him know well in advance that if he attempts to indoctrinate the kids that you will be exposing them to other religions as well. You will also be educating them on what cults are and how they work. For every 'family' study he insists on you will also have a 'family' study of your choosing. Be it cults your own religion or the history of the wt. He needs to understand that you will fight for your children's very life, their physical, spiritual and emotional well being. He must never leave your child alone with any jw ever.

Sorry for the long ramble!

Get the Christmas tree, decorate it with your beloved ornaments. They are filled with memories that a jw simply cannot understand. Bake your cookies and fill your trays for friends and family with love. Being with a jw at Christmas you sometimes have to fake it a bit. Act joyful even when you don't feel it and soon you will find joy anyway, in spite of him. Merry Christmas!

Wishing you all the best.

93

Higher Education

by Brian J in

just spent 8 hours in a 1 day elders school last weekend.

clarification given: "moving forward any elder, ms, or pioneer who themselves or someone under their roof enrolls in higher education, may no longer qualify for privileges in the congregation.

their qualifications will have to be reviewed by their boe.".

carla

"Clarification given: "Moving forward any elder, ms, or pioneer who themselves or someone under their roof enrolls in higher education, may no longer qualify for privileges in the congregation. Their qualifications will have to be reviewed by their BOE."-

Wow! this could give some power to ubm's, wives and kids now couldn't it? just enroll in college of some sort. Awesome, Dad gets kicked off the ms/elder train. Very cool. Could be a way for pimo's to finally show Dad that the org is not all it is cracked up to be. Let him see the 'love' of the brothers.

102

If mathematics teacher made a mistake, would it mean mathematics itself is wrong!

by venus in

many people point to the irrationality in the depiction of god by the religions and their scriptures, hence jump into the bottomless pit of atheism.

in either camp, god is not a factor because religion is only a means that misrepresents god, hence religionists themselves are atheists (literally, those who live without god).

it is like saying there exists no earth because you found out your friend who taught earth is flat is wrong; or it is like saying mathematics itself is wrong because you found out your mathematics teacher made a mistake.

carla

I remember 2 separate (different denominations) ministers tell that jw's and Mormon's make more atheist than any other groups combined. Don't know if it is true but I found it interesting.

102

If mathematics teacher made a mistake, would it mean mathematics itself is wrong!

by venus in

many people point to the irrationality in the depiction of god by the religions and their scriptures, hence jump into the bottomless pit of atheism.

in either camp, god is not a factor because religion is only a means that misrepresents god, hence religionists themselves are atheists (literally, those who live without god).

it is like saying there exists no earth because you found out your friend who taught earth is flat is wrong; or it is like saying mathematics itself is wrong because you found out your mathematics teacher made a mistake.

carla

I think you are also missing the point to believers that if one claims to speak for the Almighty God you damn well better get it right!

If you insist that your way, your doctrine, your belief is the only way, the only hope of any sort of salvation because you have some special pipeline to God, then you cannot make mistakes and blame it on human flaw. If you claim to be God's mouthpiece on Earth and you truly were you wouldn't make a mistake would you?

If you truly had any kind of blessing from God you would not care about scrutiny because everything you said would be right and true. The jw's do not allow scrutiny of any sort, what does that tell you?

20

Can JW's celebrate Hannukah?

by Splash in

what's the official teaching on celebrating this jewish festival?.

carla

I know that some of my jw's 'friends' do have a big turkey dinner on Thanksgiving.

I remember a story here (years ago) about a young woman who was just joining the cult and the elder told her she could not go to her families traditional non jw Thanksgiving. Instead she was invited to spend the day with his family. What did she find when she got to his house? A huge Thanksgiving meal with his family and friends. If I recall the story correctly the young woman's grandmother dearly missed her at the yearly event and died shortly after that.

Yes, we had a nice Thanksgiving meal here at my house in which my jw even helped out, sat at the table and ate. Generally acting like a member of the family and having normal affection for family. A good time was had by all.

I have no idea why he 'allows' Thanksgiving but can't come to Christmas dinner's with the same attitude. To outsiders he just looks like a kook. We are still happy to have our jw at a family function though. Too bad is presence is dependent upon a bunch of weirdos in NY.

20

Can JW's celebrate Hannukah?

by Splash in

what's the official teaching on celebrating this jewish festival?.

carla

" That is why they don't celebrate Thanksgiving."- yeah right. I think most jw's do in fact do Thanksgiving even if they sit around a table with a turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing & cranberry sauce telling each other that it is not Thanksgiving, it is. Doesn't matter if they it do it on Fri, Sat or Sun instead of Thurs to the rest of the sane world they ARE celebrating Thanksgiving. They just had to get everybody together on a different day like the rest of us do at times.

Anyway, I am assuming they say a prayer or grace thanking God/jah for life,food, etc... All part of Thanksgiving.

If they really wanted to claim they don't do Thanksgiving they would not eat turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin pie or cranberry sauce the entire month of Nov. Just like many jw's will not wear red or green the entire month of Dec lest somebody think they are celebrating Christmas.

7

What Would Happen If A Governing Body Member Was In Russia After The Label Of Extremist Was Held Up In Court

by Brokeback Watchtower in

would they get their visa revoked?

would they be arrested?

if i remember right didn't one new guy gb go to the procedings and was there for appeal?

carla

I think we should send all of them and find out!

or, maybe North Korea will take them?

20

Can JW's celebrate Hannukah?

by Splash in

what's the official teaching on celebrating this jewish festival?.

carla

This is a good question, just bumping it up to the top.

My guess would be that they are not required to or that it would take honor away from jah or some such nonsense. Besides, it also consists of giving gifts and we know how jw's do not do gifts no matter what they say about the 'other' 364 days of the year that they are allowed to give gifts besides Christmas.

Can you imagine all the jw women who would be focusing on a holiday meal, gifts, candles, menorah's, scheduling time with family & friends and having a generally good time? can't have that now can we?

28

Should I stay or should I go?

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

hello everyone, i haven't posted anything on here for a while and today i just really felt like i needed to get my thoughts together.

(if you don't know me please read some of my previous posts).

so pretty much not much has changed in my life, i'm still living with my parents and going to all the meetings and service.

carla

What Giordino said!

I know many young people who have little to no support from family and are going to college or trade school. Will they have debt? yes, but they also have freedom of mind while doing so, they have the freedom to choose to go to college or learn a trade. A few of these kids work on campus and work as advisers to be able to stay in the dorms without getting an apartment. No, they don't really like being seniors with babysitting jobs (immature freshmen) but it pays the bills so to speak.

There are also many great online colleges & degrees if you do some research on it.

At some point won't your jw parents try to tell you that you are spending too much time on college/homework anyway?

If you continue going door to door will you be able to live with yourself if actually managed to bring somebody into this insidious cult knowing what you know now?

Lots of places are hiring seasonal workers right now, in fact I have not been in one store/restaurant etc... that has not had a help wanted sign up. Might not be your dream job but if it helps you to achieve your goals why not?

It is not your responsibility to keep the family together and in agreement. Your job is to live your life. Part of becoming an adult is knowing that you cannot make everybody happy. Your parents and extended family have all made their choices, now it is your turn.

Wishing you a joyful full life!