First post here and looking for advice and help. Sorry in advance for it being so long :(
I'm a happily married woman (no kids) who is a non-JW, Presbyterian to be precise. I was raised and baptized a Presbyterian and have no plans to ever become a JW. I married my husband when he was disfellowshipped a few years ago. He was raised a JW, disfellowshipped for a few years, married me and now has recently been accepted back in. I love him dearly, he is a WONDERFUL man, and we agreed long ago for him to do his thing religiously and me to do mine. His family accepts me too and him coming back was very important to them. My feeling (and my family) was that if he wanted to worship something, it wasn't the worst thing a person could do...there are worse things. Our circumstances led us to have to live in separate states the first year of our marriage, but this will be our first Christmas together living in our own apartment. The topic of me putting up my tree came up last night and ended with me in tears all night and now into the morning.
While living on my own, I always had a tree. He was there for 3 Christmases to see the pride I take in decorating my beautiful tree every year and how special the ornaments are to me. Many have been passed down to me through the generations, and the thought of not putting a tree up this year makes me sick.
I've passed on other holidays to appease him, I've gotten used to him never wishing me a happy birthday but this I feel I cannot accept. Not putting up my tree had never come up until the day the movers arrived a few months ago and he told me to leave my tree at the curb with the trash. I freaked out and got very emotional because this was the first I had heard of this, not to mention the fact that I was giving up my job, leaving my friends and moving far off to the midwest. The tree and all the trimmings made it with me here by the way.
He wants to talk about it in a few days when he gets back from a work trip. He was kind about it, but wants to get "his thoughts together" and talk it out later. I found this site this morning and have been reading for hours.
On a thread this morning I read this:
"Even if his wife is an unbeliever, he must see to it that his children receive proper Christian education and training both at home and at the Kingdom Hall, and he should do all that he can to help his wife see the truth of God’s Word. At the same time he ought to grant his wife freedom to worship God her own way, and she may at times insist on taking the children to her place of worship. Granting her freedom of worship may even mean letting her have a Christmas tree in one room of the house during that season, although the believing husband would not let other rooms of the house or its outside be decorated. By thus extending freedom of worship to his wife he shows that he loves her as he loves himself.—Eph. 5:28, 29."
Please help....Is this accurate? Will elders be stopping by to check in on him and that's what he's worried about? Can we compromise somehow? I can forget other holidays, but being oppressed by a religion I don't believe in has officially gone too far for me without my tree :(