Hello everyone, I haven't posted anything on here for a while and today I just really felt like I needed to get my thoughts together. (If you don't know me please read some of my previous posts)
So pretty much not much has changed in my life, I'm still living with my parents and going to all the meetings and service. I currently have no job even though I've been trying desperately to get one. I feel so depressed I feel like I can hardly take it anymore, actually I cry pretty much everyday. I try to talk to my parents occasionally but it usually just makes me feel worse.
Pretty much I've come up with two different options, I could stay where I am currently and just keep trying to find a job and start college next semester. Or I could go stay with my non jw aunt that lives far away and help with her farm and daycare.
I can't decide because I know that if I do go stay with my aunt I feel like it's going to turn my family more against each other than they already are, and I don't want to do that to my aunt. My parents seem to think that my relatives are trying to manipulate me against them or something when really they are just trying to help me out. My parents also seem to think I don't love them, which is really frustrating because I do. They are my family! Recently I feel like my parents have started to be nicer to me, they bought me a new phone and my dad is fixing up my new car. I think they are trying everything they can to make me stick around, my dad knows that as long as I stay here he can keep manipulating me into going to all the meetings and out in service, etc.
In short if I stay where I am right now I feel like I have more opportunities for college but I will also be very unhappy. Do you guys have any advice? What are your opinions? Thanks.