Over the past few days... someone who I'm no longer associated with has been out on vendetta to discredit me. It started with a mass mail to my MySpace friends, which caused nothing more than a few eyebrows to be raised.
That was the reaction of people who know me in REAL LIFE. People who see me on a regular basis. People who can touch me. People who immediately effect me, and thus... matter.
And then it was brought here. A place where it had no business being. Not my decision. I've been a member of this site for about 33 months. That's longer than many of you have been a member. I pay my own bills because I left the Watchtower. I have no relationship with my mother because I left the Watchtower. And I didn't leave the Watchtower so I could go party. I didn't leave for sex or drugs or alcohol or tattoos or holes in my head. I left because what they were doing was disgusting. It was filthy and gross and wrong, and I found out. I found evidence. I read it. I vomited after holding it in my hands. I shipped it out so it could be made available for the world to see. Now this alone doesn't warrant anything. It is however, a reminder than I'm not just some kid who has been hanging around here feeding you half truths and exagerations. Some people lead sensational lives. Some people don't. Why are you here?
Now to the issue at hand.
Seth made a few comments that directly contradict my own. Seth backed it up by answering your phone calls. There's no third party validation there. That's Seth backing himself up. My mother (and maybe yours) used to do it to. But I never believed that "Because I said so" actually validated anything.
Now, if all that was in question here was whether or not I actually worked for him, there are a million different documents I could post to prove it's true. But the second they were posted, some of you people, who desire drama, and clearly don't want peace on this board, would say they were digitally manipulated. So what could I do? Send copies to some random poster, and have him or her post them? Well, you can print things out from Photoshop. I'm sure one of our little board supersleuths would be quick to point that out.
So there's really no way for me to remove all doubt from anyone's minds. But I don't really care.
The big problem to me is how so many of you reacted. For a while now I've been distant from this board, because it has lost most of it's importance to me. Most of you who I really care about, I talk to via other mediums.
If it was a matter of trust, that wouldn't be an issue. Circumstantial evidence would be presented saying that either side A or B was correct, and that would be that. But that's not how some of you would have have it. Restrangled (which I now understand why doing it more than once would be desirable) jumped on her mighty white horse, and jumped out of the pastures of her own damn business, and kicked up as much dust as possible.
All of a sudden... there was no question of my honesty. I was a liar. Bad enough. But no! Then I was an immature liar. Then a fat immature liar. Then an easily swayed fat immature liar. You people throw a lot of stones. Well, I'm not going to call anyone who commented on that thread (except for one person of course) a liar. But I will call several of you immature. Maturity would have led you to comment on something else. Mature people would talk about mature things (hello oral sex Watchtower!). And then, I'll assume that some of you are fat. You don't weigh what the doctor says you should, and that makes you fat too. Quit running your mouth here, and go run yourself. I bet some of you don't even have skinny fingers! And to this easily swayed thing- look at all of you! You've spent 48 hours in an uproar over something that someone you don't know said about someone else you don't know! Meanwhile, I've been living my life, with out any help from you guys, and surely without any concern for how you feel how about my actions. So who's immature, fat, and easily swayed? I might be. But with the finger you've been pointing at me, you've been pointing three back at yourself.
So I don't owe the majority of you anything. I appreciate having this board. I appreciate the friends I've made through it. But without this board, I still wouldn't be a Witness, Without most of you, nothing would be different! I wouldn't sleep on the other side of my bed, or wear different pants, or use a different brand of deoderant. Without me however, you'd be talking about something else.
I'm sorry your time has been wasted because of a COMPLETELY nonrelated issue between me and someone else. I'm truly sorry, because you know what, there's still sex offenders being protected, and little kids dreaming of a birthday party, and people who are completely burnt out from running on Jehovah's Holy Hamster Wheel. And they need a place to turn. And right now, it's not JWD. Because you people are fighting about someone you don't know, and business that isn't yours. You're doing nothing to work against the Watchtower, or help members leave, or supporting each other.
Keep that in mind.
So this big long piece might as well have been pointless. Because some of you are going to believe me, and some of you aren't. I appreciate those who have defended me in the past, present and future, but I'm done with JWD. I've been done with it for a while, but I occasionally poke my head in to let you all know I'm doing well. I know how I'm doing. I did that for the benefit / encouragement / entertainment value for others. But without this board, it doesn't change me at all.
So keep fighting amongst yourselves. I don't care. I've got a life to live. And I'm seeing about it as we speak.
“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.” Albert Einstein
George MacDonald said "To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved."
