Posts by dubstepped

13

Getting Married to a Non-JW

by LaurenM in

so i just got engaged to my boyfriend of over a year.

my jw parents still don't know about him.

i'm currently faded, so they know i'm not a practicing jw, but i am baptized.

The likelihood of you hanging onto everything here is slim. You have to know that. Eventually you're going to have to face that the life they chose will come between you unless this is an extremely rare case.

Your dad could lose his position as could your mom. A lot depends on the overall attitude of their elder body. You can't apply the same rules across the board. If he's influential enough he might skate by, or decide to set a "good example".

We can't tell you anything for certain other than that at some point you will have to come out, be who you are, stand on your own two feet, and let them decide who they want to be and accept their decisions. You can't hide him or your fade forever. They get to decide how to react and you have to let them be then, and you need to be you. Let the chips fall where they may.

I'm so sorry about that.

On the other hand, you are free and congrats on the upcoming nuptials. Don't let them steal your joy. You're being prepared here for the likely inevitability.

80

Are we losing our way a bit at JWN?

by nicolaou in

firstly, i want to be crystal clear how grateful i am for jwn.

it's been my place of support for over seventeen years and it's the first online space i direct anyone to if they are taking steps out of the cult.

i am not bashing jwn - i love this place and appreciate the hard work and expense simon puts in to keep it going.

dubstepped

I agree that the dominance of the political stuff on here is off-putting. At least keep it in one thread or two threads but it seems like person after person starts a new thread to debate sometimes even the same topics.

Now, I do think these things go in cycles and this is just the thing to talk about right now so it's dominating, but maybe some steps could be taken to minimize it's dominance over the forum by limiting the number of threads on a matter.

This place was a life saver for me when I needed it. If I had come today as a still-in JW that was searching and came across all of the politics that I was never exposed to and that seemed to be my first feel of this place, I'd be gone. It would have scared me away, to be honest. That's nothing against those that discuss it or the topics themselves but it would have been too much, too fast, and I would have just looked and said that "those people are no happier than I am and are miserable in the world around them. Look how awful it must be."

I don't think we should cater 100% to the JW out there that is looking around or even active and care what they all think, but it does seem like the place is taken over a bit lately with this political stuff that frankly is dividing us.

What we need right now is a good JW governing body scandal like pillowgate or tight pants Tony rant, maybe an ARC or something, to bring us together and get off this mess of politics.

Nice OP! I've been kind of feeling the same. If I want politics to dominate something I'll go to Facebook and get depressed there.

44

Has Your JW Background Benefited You In Any Way?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i would like to think there was some good that resulted from our being a witness at one time..

dubstepped

No, other than what I've chosen to do with it to help other people.

Most anything else I could conceivably attribute to it in a positive way exists without it. So I may have come across that anyway without them. Like public speaking, for example. Yes they gave me opportunity, but plenty of people outside the cult do well at it and plenty of people inside the cult do it regularly and suck at it.

17

JWs made me hate school

by StephaneLaliberte in

yesterday, i had an epiphany.

i realized that the jw religion made my experience in school awful and i hated school because of this.. yesterday, my kids had an activity where the whole school was out at the park, playing baseball, soccer, other pic-nic games and even swimming pools.

during the day, i had conversations with the teachers and saw the kids out, playing having fun.

dubstepped

Great points. They made us hate lots of things and stole the color and joy from this life. I LOVE seeing people like you realize these things but raise your kids free. That is fun to see from afar so I can only imagine what it's like when it's your own kids. Good for you!

42

hall crash

by intrigue169 in

i live in the des moines iowa area , i would be interested in doing a kingdom hall crash after watching some on youtube, i would love to do that with a group of people.

i haven't meet any other ex jw around here.

i was never baptized, i always knew i could never live up to jehovah's standard so i never did even consider baptizing.

dubstepped

Since we're always dealing in hypotheticals of "if it helps just one person then it's worth it", what if instead of helping anyone it takes one person that was on the edge of leaving and scares them back in? If you're going to ask the question, might as well consider it both ways.

I do think everyone responds different to different things. But if you're going to insert yourselves into the lives of people you don't know forcefully, it's sobering to think that you could actually help the cult more than hurt it by choosing a way that fills your ego but might hurt another person in the audience.

13

It sucks too love boxing and being in a JW family

by Akid48 in

during this new year i started to love boxing and i can only really do is shadowbox which is good training, but i really want to do more.

now you might be thinking ''why the heck would this kid take a likeing in boxing when he is in a jw family?

''well thats the point of this post it sucks that i cant do a sport that i like and i want to spend time doing because jw's dont let you do sports and dear god you wont be able to do something like boxing.. (i just made this because i just wanted to talk about this and some of you will understand if you wanted too do sports but you couldnt because you where a part of a jw family).

dubstepped

There's lots of advice to give that has been given to this poster in many other threads. This one was about boxing.

The only thing he can do is to try to make it easy on himself. If I remember from past threads he's tried standing up and it didn't go over well. Sometimes all people can do is accept where they are and try to make the best of it while it lasts. Draw certain lines in the sand, like I'm not getting baptized, but go along the best you can with people that feed and clothe you while living a somewhat double life. Grin and bear it is the only advice in situations that are simply out of your control. Making a scene with people that can make things even more miserable is bad advice. Playing them so as to get the leverage or space to be able to be yourself where you can is way better in most situations.

The situation given by the guy earlier is the exception to the rule, not the rule.

15

Welcome...to Witness Island! Almost all Witnesses!

by Witness 007 in

guadelope an island near brazil has 1 in 49 people are witnesses.

403,000 population 8,300 witnesses!

the main language is french and cereol.

dubstepped

We had a couple visit our congregation in Kentucky from Guadeloupe once. My mom studied with a lady who somehow had relatives there and they came to visit. They were JWs and my mom spoke some measure of French and we got to know them and hang out a bit. As a kid it was cool. They had photos of the place and it was beautiful. Knowing how many dubs there are just turned it into a tropical nightmare now.

42

hall crash

by intrigue169 in

i live in the des moines iowa area , i would be interested in doing a kingdom hall crash after watching some on youtube, i would love to do that with a group of people.

i haven't meet any other ex jw around here.

i was never baptized, i always knew i could never live up to jehovah's standard so i never did even consider baptizing.

dubstepped

You're on a forum full of people that can't wake up loved ones over many years where there was once trust and love. A stranger walking in and shouting things isn't making someone wake up, that's usually more about the person doing the crashing wanting to feel some type of way.

Now, with that said I had a guest on my podcast that crashed his own KH to out his abuser, and he had a long history with all of these people, and that was good for him to take his power back. He also heard from people that were already PIMO in his old hall that he didn't know about. So there were some good results, but primarily for him, and he didn't exactly wake anyone, just flushed out a few that were already awake who contacted him in secret later.

I don't think that it's all bad in all situations, but it may very well drive people in farther in most situations.

13

It sucks too love boxing and being in a JW family

by Akid48 in

during this new year i started to love boxing and i can only really do is shadowbox which is good training, but i really want to do more.

now you might be thinking ''why the heck would this kid take a likeing in boxing when he is in a jw family?

''well thats the point of this post it sucks that i cant do a sport that i like and i want to spend time doing because jw's dont let you do sports and dear god you wont be able to do something like boxing.. (i just made this because i just wanted to talk about this and some of you will understand if you wanted too do sports but you couldnt because you where a part of a jw family).

dubstepped

I don't know why people give advice like the above with that article. You know it doesn't truly work that way for most kids and it will just make things worse on him. JWs are hypocrites. How many times have you seen the advice you gave work? I'm not saying it can't, but the possibilities are super slim and would just cause so many issues for most kids.

It sounds cool on paper, but not as much in reality unless you have rare JW parents.

13

It sucks too love boxing and being in a JW family

by Akid48 in

during this new year i started to love boxing and i can only really do is shadowbox which is good training, but i really want to do more.

now you might be thinking ''why the heck would this kid take a likeing in boxing when he is in a jw family?

''well thats the point of this post it sucks that i cant do a sport that i like and i want to spend time doing because jw's dont let you do sports and dear god you wont be able to do something like boxing.. (i just made this because i just wanted to talk about this and some of you will understand if you wanted too do sports but you couldnt because you where a part of a jw family).

dubstepped

Oh man, I would have loved to box. Great exercise, great stress relief, very good for ADHD to let me get out energy and very stimulating for the mind. I loved sports and just wanted to play anything.

Sorry you're missing out. You're not alone.