reboot
JoinedTopics Started by reboot
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40
The Drive Home Tonight,Crying.
by Blueblades inlet's see,where do i start?i decided to have a quiet drive home after work.it takes about one and half hours.no cd playing,no talk radio,no news, just a quiet drive listening to my own thoughts.i'm not concentrating on any one thing,just kind of letting my mind flow wherever it wants to.. then it starts,my mind goes back to when our children were small.as i'm driving i am having this flashback,i'm going to save my family from dying at armageddon,why the little ones are dependant on us for their future life happiness.. there will be no birthday parties,holiday celebrations,even though one of them was born on the 4th of july.no extra-curricular activities at school,and everyone will know that they don't salute the flag,nor sing the national anthem.and at the infirmary they know that they are not to take blood.. after school homework,the preparing for meetings,more studying comes next.no tv.
tonight,it's a meeting night.oh goody,the weekend is here,now we can go out and play.sorry,we have to go out in field service,mommy and daddy will show you how to have so much fun in the field service on saturday and sunday.. i start to cry,literally,there is real pain in my chest and a lump in my throat.as i have this flashback on the drive home tonight.i think of how i robbed my children of their childhood,i'm getting very emotional and angry,a picture flashes across my mind of all those years,30 plus,that i lost for my wife and children.the opportunities that we turned down,we are going to survive armageddon!.
i have had a talked with my family about my regrets over having put my family through this before and they don't blame me.they feel that i was doing what i thought was the best for them at the time.they forgive me,but i having yet forgiven myself.. the family says that they learned something about life,religion etc.that the experience has not made them bitter,and they have moved on.the children are happily married and doing fine.my wife and i are doing the best that we can with what time we have left.we are in our sixties,no retirement or pension fund.taking it day to day.. this is what happened on the quiet drive home tonight,it's been a year and a half of being inactive and still the flashbacks of the past 30 something years in the watchtower and all of what that has entail in raising my family still wells up inside me when i try to rest my mind and think of nothing.. i cried all the way home for one and a half hours,pain in my chest and heart,my head feeling like it would explode,angry at the society for the big chunk of life that they stole from us.. and i thought of so many others sharing the same feelings and experiences as my family,and those still stuck inside.soon as i arrived home,i collected myself together and said:"hi honey,i'm home!
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8
Body Building
by ball. inas some of you know, i lost 5 stone on my own diet and have now been the same weight for a year.
i have just joined a gym to build my muscle back up.
i was wondering if anyone here knows anything about muscle supplements.
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14
Ticked off and lonely ( a rant)
by copsec inok, i am feeling sorry for myself so bear with me.
last weekend my girlfriend and i were going to finally have a "girl's night out.
" well, my husband went and invited himself along.
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34
School and quitting
by shera inwhat would you say to a teen who hates school and wants to quit?
please be serious and i would like caring replys please.thanks!
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25
Why do cults focus in on 'doomsday'?
by A Paduan inthat's my question - doomsday cults - how come ?
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Is Child Abuse The Unforgivable Sin?
by minimus inif there is one subject that provokes emotion, it is child abuse.
the roman catholic church nearly went down because of this epidemic.
many in the ex-jw community feel that if anything could bring the watchtower down, it is the issues involving child abuse.
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47
The Disfellowshipping/Killing of Jane Part 2
by jst2laws ini spoke with another member of jane's judicial committee late this evening.
he has recently disassociated himself and i thought he might like to see the thread.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/64881/1001480/post.ashx#1001480
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23
Did you ever lead a double life?
by imzadi inthose of you who are now x-jws, did you ever lead a double life while you were "in"?
did you have "worldly" friends, watch r rated movies, drive fast cars and do other things you weren't supposed to do, yet believed you were a "good" jw because you belived in the truth, "put in time", and attended meetings?
if you did, how long did it take you to see the truth about the truth and leave?
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16
Am I the only one who has never seen a WT/Awake left in a public place?
by somebodylovesme ini've heard a few comments about watchtowers and awakes being left in doctor's offices, laundromats, etc.
maybe the witnesses are lazy in my home area, but i have never seen anything like that -- and i think, since i always look for something to read, i would have noticed.
strange.
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20
my b-day is tomorrow...
by sunny indon't mean to toot my own horn but this year i will be 44 and i feel great!!!
two of my daughters tried baking my cake today and burned both of them....soooo funny!!
i also like things that have to do with double numbers etc...my husband says i am strange.