When will the guilty feeling of leaving the Org go away? i am feeling at my lowest point right now, and its terrible. This after visiting my parents and feeling that awkward tension building between us. They know that we celebrated my son's 2 year birthday yesterday, but i couldnt be totally completly honest with them and come out and say it, for fear that i would dissapoint them and get a preached to. Why cant i just be strong enough to tell them that i want nothing to do with the WT, and that i am choosing to live live my life on my own terms, not what someone else maps out for me. When does it get to be my own life, and not feel that guilt hanging over me that i left god. When will that nagging little voice in the back of my head stop telling me that im doing the wrong thing and that i didnt have enough faith. Are these feelings just part of getting out in the beginning, or will i always have them? Thanks for reading this if you got this far, i guess i am just so scared that i am doing the wrong thing, even though my mind and heart are telling me that i am right, cause so many things just dont add up, and i know that, but being raised in the org does something to you, its like a safety net, its the only thing you've known your whole life and now its changed, i thought it would be an easy transition, boy, was i wrong.
MonkeyPrincess
JoinedPosts by MonkeyPrincess
-
23
When does it get better?
by MonkeyPrincess inwhen will the guilty feeling of leaving the org go away?
i am feeling at my lowest point right now, and its terrible.
this after visiting my parents and feeling that awkward tension building between us.
-
-
-
6
MY SHORT BACKGROUND
by moses inwell i must say that i am glad that i found this site it is amazing all the things that i found that i have in common,it seems that the same problems and feelings are the same all over.
i can remember growing up as a jw although i never got baptized all the hypocrisy in the congregation especially amongst the elders children they were worse than the wordly children at school,we tried hard to stick to the truth my mom was a single mom and she did her best to raise us in the truth my mom is still in but as never given me any pressures i will attend an occasional meeting but that is about it, it seemed that everybody was always waiting for you to stumble or do somthing bad so that they could gossip anways this is my story in short, the jws are definetly a tough club to belong to although in the beginning they make everything look so rosy.
god bless everyone out there.. moses
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
Nice to meet you moses, hope to hear a little more about you. You will find plenty of support here, just as i have, its a wonderful place to be. I remember that same feeling among the witnesses, no one here will judge you though.
Take care, MonkeyPrincess
-
31
It just doesn't add up
by micheal in.
was there any particular event, teaching, experience where it all came together for you when you really questioned the "truth", or believed it wasn't it couldn't be god's organization?.
when did you realize and say to yourself, this just doesn't add up?
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
it would have to be when my father told me that if i dont get reinstated soon, that my son (only 1 year old at the time) would be killed at Armageddon, and it would be all my fault. I thought to myself that the true god would not be that cruel and sadistic, So that ended it for me. Then hearing about all the UN stuff really solidified it also.
-
12
My dad needs a heart transplant
by MonkeyPrincess inaccording to his doctor, my dads heart is beating at 29 beats per minute right now, and getting progressivley weaker.
he advised my father to get on the transplant list for a new heart.
of course my father is being very stubborn about this.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
Thanks everyone, it means alot that you are all here for me, it feels like a waiting game between my dad and the doctors, like one will bend for the other, but its not happening. I will let know what happens. Thank you for the links Xandria, i appreciate it!
MonkeyPrincess
-
12
My dad needs a heart transplant
by MonkeyPrincess inaccording to his doctor, my dads heart is beating at 29 beats per minute right now, and getting progressivley weaker.
he advised my father to get on the transplant list for a new heart.
of course my father is being very stubborn about this.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
According to his doctor, my dads heart is beating at 29 beats per minute right now, and getting progressivley weaker. He advised my father to get on the transplant list for a new heart. Of course my father is being very stubborn about this. My mom said she knows of a hospital that does bloodless surgeries, and that she is going to try and get him in there, or with a doctor at Stanford that will do a bloodless heart transplant. The problem is that they might not be able to find a doctor to do it, and if they dont then my dad will not have the surgery. I have been so upset over this whole thing. My parents have been speaking with me and good with me, even though im df'd. Im just not ready to lose my dad, not when there is a possibility that he can get better. I saw him today and he was just so weak and pale looking, it was aweful. Anyways, i guess i am mostly venting here. Has this happend to anyone else, or any other experiences that you know of? Thanks!
MonkeyPrincess
-
27
What did you GIVE for Christmas?
by Tatiana ini'll tell what i got on the other thread later, but i'd like to know what you all gave this year.
i gave my oldest son a set of chinese exercise balls in a beautiful silk box.
he needs to relax!!.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
For my very first Christmas ever, my 'wordly' husband says i was a natural at it :)
I gave...
my husband a digital camera, some dvd's, and a kenneth cole watch
my son got, little people airport set, basketball hoop with balls, footballs and soccor balls, tonka truck, leap pad learning set and books, clothes, and so much more that i cant even remember, all i know is that i can hardly fit all his stuff in his room, i need to learn to set a pace cause he is not even 2 years old yet.
my sister got, a cell phone, waldon books gift card, the scene it game board, pens and notebook (she loves to write), and candy.
neice, a laptop learning computer
nephew, a desktop learning computer
neice, dora the explorer bingo game
neice, the original memory game
mother and father in law, dvd's
Christmas is FUN!!! boy, i never knew what i missed out on, its so sad!
-
25
I thought I was over it .
by jumper inmy name is joel i was raised as a jw, dunked at tweleve years old df 'ed at 17, 19, & 21 and then back in at 24 my father was an elder, my mother was the perfect model of subjection.
four times a week we would all put on our smiles and go to the kingdom hall the book study and out in service.
dressed impecably, and always well prepaired, all seemed as it should be, but at home things were crazy.. im sure that my experance is much like many of yours.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
Hi, welcome!!!!!
Your situation is very similer to mine and alot of others here. It really is sad and it hurts alot. I have suffered alot over this, and i am in the angry stage too. i know one day i will be able to move on, just like you will. Hang in there, were all here for you. I found such comfort and knowledge when i came to the boards here, and my life suddenly had meaning, and i felt so free. So its good to have you here!
-
29
Christmas Card List
by Panda in.
if you want a christmas card from us (therese and nick) pm me with your address and i'll send you one.
cheery panda hugs the forum
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
*raises hand exciedly* me too, me too!!!! I want have some cards sent to me, and i want to send some out too, lets exchange addresses. I will pm each of you! How cool, thanks guys!!!!!
-
21
And so the threats begin !
by NEWWORLDSLACKER inwell im back from my " relaxing trip to the coast "........ and apparently wile i was gone my jw father in law stepped up his plan for total jw world domination .
he has now officially threatened me with dfing .
and informed my wife that by my continued association with a disassociated person i am placing myself in jeopardy of changing my inactive status into a situation that needs to be handled in a judicial manner.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
((((((((NWS)))))))))
I am going through similer things right now, and its hard and very upsetting. But when you know in your heart you are doing the right thing, just keep pressing on, it will work out for the best. You will be happy again!!!!
Take Care
-
66
Introducing Myself...
by kyria ini just wanted to introduce myself and share my verbose story.
my name is kyria, i'm 29 years old, originally from the pawtucket/lincoln rhode island congregation in the states.
i found this board yesterday, and am completely blown away by what an amazing place it is.
-
-
MonkeyPrincess
Welcome Kyria, its good to have you here. I am new at leaving the Org also. Your story is almost exactly like my sister. You both have alot in commen except that she is barley getting divorced and she has not yet discoverd the truth about the "truth". Good luck and it seems that you are making a good life for yourself.