What Motivates YOU to Post Here?

by trevor 40 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  peggy

  Tevor------This is a worth while topic. It shows you have done some reflection. There is nothing wrong with debate. In fact, as some have pointed out, it teaches us to look at our thinking, it allows for thoughts to be defended or washed away. This takes humility along with mental strength. Go back to the topic "crises of conscience", your words as I said caused anger to flare up. I had to take the time to analyse what triggered that anger. THOUGHT PROCESSES WERE AT WORK. This is always a good thing. You and I and def'd, all of us have much to learn. To stop learning is to stop growing. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to read the posts everyday and to have my mind fed. There is a wide variety of personalities here. Some are serious, some funny, some neurotic, some angry, some intelligent, some curious, some defensive. All have something to offer! In some weird way I detested you for your words on the topic of Crises of conscience, I now look for your thoughts, as I believe you have shown your softer side.

  Peg
• 

  trevor

  Itsallgoodnow - Thanks for your thoughts.

  You mention cheep trolls pushing buttons who should be ignored. I agree but am not sure Defd was a troll, at times he seemed sincere. What puzzles me is why people were so keen to respond. That is why I think he served a need and will be missed by many.

  My questions go beyond Defd and address a wider issue. I am prepared to accept that boards are what they are, as you say, “I don't know if you can really ask anybody to stick to a script when it comes to posting on a forum.”

  In your post and a number of other posts your favourite expression is, “people pushing buttons.” I like that phrase.

  I am beginning to think that the nature of being involved in forums like this is to push buttons. Perhaps I am being naïve in wondering if there is a better way to make progress?
• 

  mrsjones5

  I dont understand...how was defd treated? Am I supposed to take if when he says that my kids mostlikely misbehave in public because I have left the bOrg? I just loved it when he assumed that my kids go out in public in full view of me and flip people off.

  Dont really. I actually pity yours. Your kids are the ones my kids come up and tell that i heard them cursing or sticking up the middle finger or stealing other kids things......

  I was at a carnival the other day and my youngest was on a ride with another kid whom we didnt know. Well, as this 6-7 yr old would come around, he would stick his finger up at the crowd.

  Now thats parenting at its finest. I guess the parent of that kid had the same attitude of others who allow there children to do what they FEEL is right!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  He wrongly assumes that all of us here who have left the bOrg are fallen and have resorted to all forms of debauchery and have taken our children along with us. If he slams anyone here why should he be treated with kid gloves? defd was no an innocent party here and he got as good as he gave and better. I dont feel sorry that he is gone. Good riddance. .

  Josie
• 

  trevor

  Peggy

  Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I remember the thread ‘Crises of conscience.’ I am well aware of my comments on that thread and they can be judged by those that read them.

  I noted your reaction and realize that I could have made the same points more effectively by offering my hand instead of my fist.

  Some years ago I was at a business meeting of twenty people when an older man across the table form me, who had been picking on me out of jealousy, went too far. I warned him that if he didn’t stop I would come around the table and sort him out. He persisted. I got up and moved slowly around the table and he rose to meet me. I approached him slowly, carefully, and put my arm around him. He gave way to tears. We became friends.
• 

  Big Dog

  I joined the forum after being out of the org for over 20 years but never having actually talked with others that had left. In retrospect I find that amazing that I never had a chance in all that time to hash out things about the org with another person who had been there and left, but I simply did not know any. So I joined and enjoyed getting to vent and have alot of what I felt validated through hearing stories similar to mine or thoughts similar to those I had.
  

  I tend to run the whole gamut, I like to post on all types of threads from the very serious to the total fluff, I like to have fun and crack wise from time to time. I always try to be respectful when I post following what I think of as the golden rule of disscussion/debate, attack the issue not the person.

  But lately I have found myself growing tired of the politics of the forum, the popular posters that run roughshod over others, and those that are just arrogant in the extreme. It is diminishing my enjoyment greatly and has me thinking now that I'm typing this might well be my last post. This was my first experience ever on a forum, and it has been educational that's for sure.
• 

  mrsjones5

  aw dog say it aint so...
• 

  trevor

  Mrsjones5
  

  
  We all deal with people the way we feel is best. There are no rules just results.

  -----------------------------------------------------

  I understand your feeling Big Dog

  But why leave?

  I intend to stay around and ignore the politics. Post less and stop having expectations.
• 

  Lady Lee

  I'm back here to post more on this forum in the hopes that I can offer support and understanding to those who need it. And to connect with others, who like me, have "been there".

  I have to admit I have a hard time when people start attacking JWs who come here. Now I haven't read anything by DeFD except his last thread. But I have seen what happens with other JWs who have been here.

  Some people are patient and understanding. Some are angry. Some ridicule.

  In reading this thread so far my sense is that those of us who have already left most often never get to explain to the R&F our reasons for leaving. We have never had a chance to tell THEM what we have learned. Many of us, especially those who feel betrayed or were abused in some manner, have very good reasons to be angry. And since we cannot confront the org or the elders or our old friends, we sometimes take that out on the JWs that show up.

  Now realisticaly, some active JWs do come here to "prove" how wrong we are. Others come to try to "help" us. Some come because, whether they realize it or not, have their own doubts. And well some are just curious about what we do, or say.

  I used to be one of them. So did many if not most of you. Remember how deluded we were? Well so is the poor JW who wanders in here.

  Sometimes it is really hard to stay calm with some of the most zealous posters. If I am typing out a message that responds in an angry tone I will often reread it and decide not to post it (that's when I decide to go do something else for a bit until I can calm down and respond differently). My goal is to help and I believe anger doesn't help anyone listen.

  This works well for me.
• 

  peggy

  mrsjones5-------don't you see, def'd did have something to learn. He sadly did believe that all children outside of the org were devils. That is part of the brainwashing. He later admitted that ones in his own cong. were sometimes worse then the world. Were his eyes opening? You bet! He needs to continue posting, fighting, defending, talking. It will eventually HELP him!

  Trevor-------Beautiful story! It says A LOT about you, also it says alot about the recipient of the hug. Sometimes anger and jealousy are defense mechanisms for feelings we don't always understand.

  I've been shy about posting. I hold back welcoming someone to the board or offering support to ones like crumpet who is suffering from an injury because I'm not sure if I belong yet. I'm still a NEWBIE. LOL
• 

  mrsjones5

  Oh you belong peggy...just jump in and keep posting.

  Well I hope he did learn something from me and the others who related how they were raising their kids outside of the bOrg. I hoped defd learn that it's not all black and white out here and that there may be good people on the outside.

  But at times (and this may have to do something with something inside of me) I just didnt have patience to deal with his drivel and I didnt feel like just laying down and taking it from him. That's not bad, that's just me.

  Josie