by ithinkisee 89 Replies latest members private
I've received more than one request for the folder contents. I'll try and put something together in a post soon.
They're nothing magical .... in most cases I took "apostate" info and took the snide JW comments out so that pretty much just facts and some simple leading questions are left.
But I'll post something by this weekend or something.
-ithinkisee
ITIS,
well done old boy. it's amazing how much your story reminds me of mine, except that i made my break, and now months later my wife is finally coming to the point yours is already at. i have to say that the amount of responsible research you did into doctrine is AWESOME. you have really done a really good job with that.
i would say show her lots of love as per the advice already contained in the thread. show lots of love to your kids, although i'm sure you do. it's just that she sees that as an extention of love for her.
there will be hard times on the road ahead, but IMHO the hardest part is over. that intital conversation is SO hard. when my wife found out that i held to evolution over creation, she actually packed her bags and started off to the bus station.
but now more than ever, she needs to see that you are more or less happy because of your intellectual freedom, and that you are not some depraved looney because of this knowledge. she'll have a lot more questions in the coming months, but let her come to them on her own. and don't worry, they'll seem easy to answer now that you don't have to pretend anymore.
and along with nathan's comment to you, make sure that she knows that you have done all this because you do want to lead the family. that you want to lead the family down the intellectual (and spiritual) path that is most closely aligned with FACTS, not TRADITION.
two thumbs up man. PM me or email me any time you like.
josh
| ITIS - I read this thread sitting on the edge of my seat.... I am SOOOOO happy for you!!! I am dreading this conversation with my husband, I honestly think it will be a while before I can go into any depth with him because at this point, he would feel compelled to run to the elders with any information. Why is it that every time one mate leaves the WT, the other assumes that they will leave the marriage????? My husband told me that he could leave me at any time if he wanted to........... He is a horrible communicator, and I realized that this statement was just his way of expressing his fear that I would leave him. Even so, it made me so upset, I was crying and asking why he would say such a thing... He ended up apologizing and hugging me (which is a big move for him). I try to be extra attentive to him, now that I realize how insecure he feels. It's not that he has any reason to feel insecure, I think it's just that when they have the rug pulled out from under them like that, it shakes them to the very core sometimes. I think everyone's comments have been great. And to everyone who has commented: You all are helping lots of us who are in the same situation!! BIG HUGS TO EVERYONE!!!!!! ITIS - My prayers are with you!!!!! GGG |
I took jgnat's suggestion and sincerely thanked her for listening last night and I thought that was very considerate of her. I also told her I would make time at night for us to read from the bible together. (I would love some suggestions on how to do this to maximize the effectiveness. I have some ideas but am open to suggestions.)
Got to a used bookstore and buy "The Jerusalem Bible." It uses 'Yahweh', where it was acutally used in the OT and clearly does not use it in the NT b/c it isn't there. You'll be able to find "The New Jerusalem Bible" in a new bookstore, but it's much more preferable to get the Jerusalem Bible instead.
Yes, I agree with the_classicist about getting a Jerusalem Bible. It helped me a lot when I was breaking free of the JWs to read the Bible on its own terms. The big reference version with all the footnotes and the scripture parallels in the margins is the one I like, if you like research.
Now about reading the Bible, I would suggest that the first thing the two of you should read together is the Gospel of John. And read it as a book, as one connected story, and reflect on the message. I remember how deeply I was touched when I read it for the first time.... (and it makes mincemeat of the "salvation is works" or "salvation is through an organization" teachings of the WTS)
Be kind to her. Reading your conversation has brought back memory of conversations past between my husband and I.
I was in such pain when he revealed what was in his heart about the org and its teachings. I felt that the rug was pulled from under me. I didin't know which way to turn. I was in so much pain and turmoil.
Please give her lots of reassurance and love and flowers. Show her that you can be a great husband and dad in spite of the org.
You have given her lots to think about. She wont forget. She will go to the meetings and now will listen and will try to prove you wrong. As she does this she will see the light.
You have a pm
wanna
Perhaps a little after reading John, and depending how it feels, you might rent the video called "The Gospel of John". I thought it was great. It's a direct reading from John (I think from the Good News Bible), while the action is played out on the screen. I'd say it's a pretty high quality production and especially moving when you can see the characters and settings. I rented it and watched it with the wife and she was totally silent. Never said a thing about it afterward either. Just a thought.
ithink,
What an amaizing story you are living! I am so happy your wife is listening. I hope you continue in this forward course as you are now.
My best,
Bryan
Have You Seen My Mother
itis,
WOW,
Speachless,
You have an amazing wife. Be kind and close. Be Honest. Don't rush.
Her world has just collapsed, and she is looking for foundation and support. Be that for her.
steve
Her world has just collapsed, and she is looking for foundation and support. Be that for her.steve
Steve , this is the best advice
