ITHINKISEE: The SH*T hit the fan last night. (Update!) (page 5)

Check_Your_Premises

There were many big evidence bombs in those folders I had for her that I never presented to her last night. So I know she saw those herself with out me being around. Perhaps that helped some? Not sure.

That is the best news I heard. She looked into your stuff on her own. That means she was open to it. She didn't have her wall up.

She will probably do the rest. I don't think you have to show her anything else. Just sit back, and be there for her as her world comes crashing down. It is painful. But we always feel better that we took the blue pill.

Premature congratulations are in order. It looks like she might leave with you.

I can't tell you how incredibly happy, and how incredibly envious I am.

CYP

Bryan

ithink,

To be in such a crossroads of life....

I am sending you my best wishes in saving your family. I hope you wife will open her mind. To believe that everyone who is not a Witness can not raise decent children is so horrible, though common among the borg.

Give your wife your attention. Show her you are there for her and the family. Small things can mean more than the big. When I was young and broke, I would bring my wife one rose and a Snickners.

All my best to you and your family,

Bryan

Have You Seen My Mother

Billygoat

((((ITIS)))))

Wow! Man, I am relieved for you and sad for her, but I'm excited for the both of you. I know what it's like to be at this crossroads. She's asking, where will she go? How does she know because she's never known anything else? Maybe instead of it being scary to her, you can position it as a good thing: It takes a GREATER step of faith to venture beyond what's comfortable and known into what's NOT known and completely uncomfortable. Let her know that it's scary, but you're there with her - that you'll be scared together. I'm really proud of you for handling it this way...you're doing a great job!

Andi

M.J.

I can't tell you how incredibly happy, and how incredibly envious I am.

I'll second that!

Hats off to you. And thanks so much for sharing.

Billygoat

I also told her I would make time at night for us to read from the bible together. (I would love some suggestions on how to do this to maximize the effectiveness. I have some ideas but am open to suggestions.) She said she would like to pray together too.

ITIS,

PLEASE do this! Pray together everyday, as often as she wants. Pray for just little things...thanking God for the walk in the park, the quiet time the kids let you have, etc. Being openly and vocally thankful during this period may take some of the sting out of the pain. Let her pray too. (I know it might be uncomfortable for her as a sister, but if it makes her feel better, let her wear a hat.) It will make her feel like you're in this together. And as you can probably tell, she desperately needs to feel security in that right now.

As for studying the bible...it seems like she enjoys research and dates. Pick a bible book (Pauline letters are good for this) and read it. Research the time frame, culture, history of the locations, congregations, etc as you go along. It might make it fun for her. I have to tell you that reading Romans, Galatians, and Ephesians opened my eyes WIDE to the organization's BS. I don't know if you've read those books without the help of the Watchtower, but it's very plain: Jesus is the mediator...not mankind. Salvation is based on grace, not works, not hours in field service, meetings, etc. It blew the lid off the can for me! I realize now that I can never go back...they DON'T have the Truth. But it took reading the Word for what it was - without their help.

Andi *doing a happy dance for you*

BluesBrother

It seems things are going better than you might have hoped . You have a great relationship , that is a treasure.

it is a hard time of adjustment, but your wife seems open to reason. Dont forget that she may fear that if you leave the Org, then you will become like all the other "Worldly men"..time will prove that wrong

I do accept the difficulties that my fading has made for my wife, from being an elders wife with help in activities, ministry and getting territory to preach and so on, she know has to fend for herself . Her health is not good and she gets little help or interest from the congo. She knows of my views, which are labelled 'apostate' but she is too savvy to let on to the elders.

kls

You both have such love for each other that i don't think even the wt can break you both.You two have a bond that marriage is made of and it sounds like your wife is seeing through the wt and her love for you . I can't tell you how happy i am to read this and yes envy is a great word to describe what you have ,but i think it is the deep love you two share that will save you both.

You are a great man and husband Ithinkisee and you have a great wife , you will both go far.

Check_Your_Premises

Hats off to you. And thanks so much for sharing.

...and how about a pdf of those folder contents!!!

CYP

sweet tee

What you said last night was beautiful and probably the greatest act of love you could have given her. It took great courage and strength to apologize for you past miscommunication, and remain committed to your family. The dubs can't duplicate that. Hang in there. We're all pulling for you!

sweet tee

TD

My wife and I had a conversation along the same lines about 10 years ago when I stopped attending. One thing that helped a lot (Besides what the ladies on this thread have said) is to concentrate on the things you can still talk about. For me, this meant truly harboring no animosity towards the JW religion.

I took an honest interest in her JW activity. This included helping her with ideas for her "talks" with she got "stuck," (As you know, female JW's have a hard time because they basically have to write a 5 minute "play") going to the assemblies with her, going to the memorial with her, talking with her about what went on at the other meetings and her squabbles with Evangelicals and Mormons when she did the door to door thing. This even included helping her get to the meetings.

You probably know how some people, once they become disillusioned with the JW faith will take their publications out and burn them, or use them for target practice or something else that makes them happy. My wife and I took up collecting them. (She's a die hard bibliophile) We have a very complete library today and it's actually been fun. She mostly likes having the older publications just to "have them" but I've gradually gotten her to read more and more of what they actually say. She especially got a kick out the The Finished Mystery

It was awkward at first, but she's gradually become what you would call a "liberal JW."

ITHINKISEE: The SH*T hit the fan last night. (Update!)

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