Living Alone... How Do You Do It?

by FMZ 54 Replies latest jw friends

  • FMZ

    Mulan, thanks... Funny, "go with the flow" is one of my favorite expressions. Taking my own advice is never as easy as giving it, heh. Thanks :)

    Aude, good advice. Now to carry it through. Not sure the housewarming party would happen. Have no real family left here, and, heh... would you believe, no friends.

    Cyber and Aude, to answer both your questions, I am recently separated from my wife of almost 5 years. I came over to the States from England in 2001 alone, just to marry Tammy. My whole life has revolved around Tammy and my step-kids and work for the past 5 years, too busy being the family guy I guess. Divorce is pretty much on the cards. I will probably end up moving back to England in a few years once my bankruptcy is paid off.

    *Edited to add* Prophecor... sounds like you've got your head screwed on. I can only hope I have your self-worth after a week of this.


  • bebu

    When I first got an apartment by myself, I was in Japan. My new landlady made sure I knew that etiquette required my going to the neighbors, to introduce myself... that she expected it! I gulped, and did this... and made some of the best friends of my life to this day.

    And now, when I move to a new area, I try to make the first move in introductions, and maybe sharing something or offer to help with something. I enjoy turning my neighborhood into a community of friends; we all watch out for each other, a bit like family.


  • Es

    Heya FMZ, when i got my first flat i was like you, I was no good on my own i used to go to bed at 8:30pm just so it would make the time pass, now if i could do it again it would be so different, I would almost cherish the time i have to myself. You can come and go as you please, dont have to follow anybody's rules, you get used to being on your own and at times its enjoyable. When i sep from hubby my son and i moved into a flat, I used to have friends coming over all the time which was great but i found the good times was when my son was in bed and i could sit on the couch and watch my fav shows on my own. Hope all goes well es

  • Satanus

    I heard that cats are a bit like women. They will remind you of your duties to them. They will remind you that you aren't alone. But, if you are eventually heading back accross the pond, then you would likely have to part w it.


    Ps, find things that you like doing, like sports, hobbies, reading, find a place like a bar, restaurent or park where you can hang out for a bit every day. Getting to know you nieghbors (if they are cool) does help a lot. Best wishes.

  • not the administrator
    not the administrator

    get some grow lights and grow you some tomatoes in your closet. a nice big female tomatoe plant.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    I would really enjoy finding out what it's like to live by myself without somebody lurking over my shoulder or some landlord swearing they're not doing it, while they are VERY obviously breaking into my place and snooping for personal info.


  • Satanus


    Tomatoes, eh?


  • Sassy

    ahh.. FMZ.. I'm sorry.. I wish I had major words of wisdom..

    if there is anything I can do.. let me know..

  • EvilForce

    FMZ...the past 5 years you have lived your life revolving around someone else. Now your life revolves only around you. Both scary and exciting.

    I have lived in my own house / apt. alone for 10 out of 13 years. While it's nice having someone underfoot again (for the past 2 years) I will say it's also quite nice having your own space. No one else to blame messes on. You will scarcely believe what a pig you really are. LOL

    But also it's good because no one will be asking you what time you will be home. Although I must say it's nice having another person close by. Perhaps a roomate is in order?

    Other than that, we here at JWD will be here 24/7.

  • chrissy

    what prochecor said was just lovely and true...

    Are you a fan of Henry David Thoruea at all? Found myself in a similar situation last year. At the time, I lived a short drive from Walden Pond in Concord, Mass., (more like a small lake really). I walked the perimeter and thought about some of his philosophies. This guy spent two years living alone in a self-built cabin in the woods. ok, total isolation. But, he was onto something in his desires to 'confront life' alone, I think.

    Living by yourself may take initial adjustments, but it won't be long before you start to adapt to those new rhythms. For me, it brought the chance to think clearly and hear an inner-voice that's easily drowned by the noises of constant companionship.

    You may even grow to love the the 'companionship of solitude.'

    During times of loneliness, when all else failed, I 'd watch the "dixie chicks: top of the world" concert dvd and dance around my apt. dont ask me why, but that was a guaranteed cure-all for the lonely blues. If you get lonely, you can borrow it. :) lol.

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