If your over 50 years old, and your callin a 30 year old an"elder"......that shits hillarious......but anyway..........
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
YOU MIGHT BE A J.W.
by brandnew 128 Replies latest jw friends
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JW GoneBad
If you do a lot of taking but very little giving...
YOU MIGHT BE A JW!
If you accept blood fractions but absolutely refuse to donate blood.....
YOU MIGHT BE A JW!
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MissFit
If your idea of charity work is handing out WT publications and starting studies...
If it takes you 5 min. to walk up a drive way or you feel a compulsion to tie your shoes before knocking at a door...
If you start to panic if you are left alone with a member of the opposite sex because there is no chaperone
if when referring to "where the need is greater", you are not talking about Helping people in "physical" need.
If you know the locations of all the gas stations and laundry mats from your house to the Kingdom Hall.
If part of your meeting supplies include a wooden spoon
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MissFit
If you are too ashamed to mention that your child won a scholarship and is going to college or university.
If a great job promotion or offer is considered a trial or test from Satan
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erbie
If you open your mouth and shit flies gather round...
then you just might be.
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Still Totally ADD
If you are a teenage male and you go to bed holding two bible's you might be a JW's.
If you think a heart transplant will give you the personality of the donor you might be a JW's
If your are afraid of having oral sex your your mate because you will be DF you are a JW's.
If you allow your child to die because you don't believe in blood transfusions you are a JW's
If you believe the truth is something that comes from a bunch of uneducated old white men you are a Jw's
Still Totally ADD
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erbie
If you like to impose your views on others while suppressing their right to express their own contrary beliefs
If you like to have your voice heard but would trample upon the voices of others
If you receive no recognition in the real world but flourish as a big fish in a tiny puddle
If you have an inferiority complex and can only gain acceptance and a sense of meaning by being in a small, closed minded, close knit group
If you have spent your life being a less than average nobody but get to don a suit three times weekly while masquerading as an important 'minister' on official, theocratic duty
If you have an overwhelming propensity toward religious bigotry based on a false assumption of moral superiority
If you have an unhealthy preoccupation with the relentless passing of time, while all the while feeling that it is your worst enemy
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Vidiot
A lot of these are really, really good; they fit the Foxworthy style to a T.
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James Mixon
You use the words type, antitype, antitypical and anti typically.
So was Adam a type and Jesus was the antitype, or was
Jehovah the type and jesus was the antitypical. Hell who knows.
Are we (here) the antitype of Satan and JW's antitypically Israelites.
Try explaining that to someone.
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Decided
If you got a back call or not at home. Maybe a field service report. Giving a talk at the KH. A member of the theocratic ministry school. Are you one of the anointed? Are you playing a wind-up phonograph at someone's door? Do you have a 4D card for the army.
Ken