Would you go to a funeral at the Kingdom Hall?

by Dustin 56 Replies latest jw friends

  • Purza
    Purza

    The last time I stepped foot in my old KH, it was for my best friend's mother's funeral. I took some worldly co-workers with me and it did help in dealing with the "brothers"

    However, I have thought about this situation too. My dad is getting up in age and he has made no move to contact me to mend fences and I doubt he ever will. I have been considering contacting him just to see what would happen, but things are still a bit painful for me. In any event, I determined that I will not go to his (or anyone elses) funeral in a KH. No way, no how. I will grieve in my own manner and think back on fond memories. Going into a KH would destroy that.

    Purza

  • kls
    kls

    Nope and i don't care who it is i will not ever for anyone and anyreason walk into a cult room ever again, Won't my husband be surprised when his funeral is at a funeral home I really haven't decided if any jws will be allowed but it isn't looking to good .

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    I guess for me it's just an overwhelming sense of sadness that it ever had to come down to this. My dad and I are so alike in so many ways. Yet, even though my brother is living with a girl, and is still "technicaly baptized they have no problem talking to him everyday. But, I speak my mind one time about how they are being brainwashed by the jw's and I am now the evil one. Funny how hypoctical that seems to me. Anyways, it will be a tough decision of what to do.

  • Sith
    Sith

    Dustin, my mother passed away at the end of March. She had been very sick for quite some time, and I knew that eventually I would be faced with the same decision you are. I have been out of the Borg since 1991, while my mother remained "faithful". We had a strained relationship for years. However, I knew it was her wish to have a Witness funeral at the Kingdom Hall. I also knew that most of the people who would attend were people I have known since I was 12 years old. So, I struggled with what I should do and how I should react when the time came. When the time did come, I went through with her wishes and put my best face on. I figured that staying away wouldn't make a point or any kind of impact. It wouldn't change a thing. The only one who would regret my absence would be me.
    Right before she died, I sat with my mother in her hospital room for three days after she slipped into a coma. Witness well-wishes came and went and were polite but not comforting or friendly. At her memorial service, I sat up in front at the Hall with my younger (unbelieving but never baptized) sister and my kids. For the hour I was at the Hall, not one Witness said a word to me. After the service, my younger sister had everyone over to her house. Everyone ignored me there also. I didn't care. I shunned them as much as they shunned me. I was there for my mother. After 48 years of being my mother, it was the very least I could do.
    Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and do the right thing.

  • HadEnuf
    HadEnuf

    Ahhhhhhhh Dustin...isn't it a shame that we have to worry about such things? But we do. Gary and I went to a funeral at a KH last year...but it wasn't in Point...so that made a difference. But it was very hard and like Blondie said...listening to the funeral "LECTURE" was one of those gagging moments.

    My mom is in her mid 80's and not in the best of health. She and my sister shun me (though I'm not DF'd or DA'd). If they don't want to have anything to do with me while they are alive...why would they want me at their funeral? No. I wouldn't go for my mom or sister. The ties have been broken and can't be mended. Why put yourself through such agony? Just my opinion.

    We shouldn't have to make decisions like this...but the JW cult forces us into these situations.

    cathy l.

  • lilybird
    lilybird

    My husband and I went the Kingdom Hall for his father's funeral. I was worried about how we would be treated, An old couple I had known since I was little, came to tallk to us. They were very sweet and asked us to come visit them. Most others were friendly ,,but seem to look at us like horns would grow out of our heads at any moment..... The funeral talk was very annoying.. having to listen to the hope for the resurrection...blah..blah..blah..... but I enjoyed going back in the fact that they could see we were still a very happy normal family,,, 3 kids and all.... and our lives were going on just fine without the help of the society ..thank you very much...I just tried to view it as an outsider... not think about the bad crap that made we want to leave....We figured it was the last thing we ever had to do for his Dad as regards the witnesses...It was difficult,,, sometimes nauseating... but we did it for his parents...

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Unless the JW that died was a close friend, that I felt really cared about me, I wouldn't go. I've skipped quite a few in the last 10 years.

    DY

  • Carol
    Carol

    ((((((((((Sith))))))))))

    Belated condolences on your loss.

    Carol

  • xjwms
    xjwms

    Dustin:

    Is your dad ill? Is he having any health issues now? For you, I hope not.

    Well I have gone to the hall for a funeral. However, that was some time ago. I am not sure of the comfort level how I would feel.

    Who makes the decission? and ... Why not a funeral home? Its still your dad, and you are his son.

    Did any of you think of asking him?

    Sometimes, Older folks like making their own choices. Has he thought of making is own arrangements?

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    Xjwms, my dad is a house painter who hasn't worn a paint mask in 20 years (not real healthy). He has had various ailments over the years. Family history is also not exactly on his side, as 3 of his older brothers all died at about the same age as he is now. My brother and I had the discussion, because he has been feeling worse, and has absolutely no insurance. So we were determining what we would do when that time comes.

    The disagreement between my brother and I came regarding the Kingdom hall. I know it will be his wish for the service to be done there. I just don't see it possible for me to return there again.

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