Did you ever feel like you never fit in?

by Dragonlady76 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • candidlynuts
    candidlynuts

    HEY i look like MY mom! if my real dad is posting on an apostate website, i think i'd have a stroke LOL

  • whyamihere
    whyamihere

    I never did "fit in" at the Hall or in my Family for so many reasons.( I wasn't the grandchild of the favorite daughter....nor was I the favorite daughter with my mother...I hate mind games that break your heart.) I think it played a huge part of me being so screwed up.

    I mean I see alot of people like me and I don't know if they are just being nice.

    Oh well.....what's a girl to DO!

    Brooke

  • Thegoodgirl
    Thegoodgirl

    Candid: Good point. I wouldn't want to be friends with them now. I too was the one "in between". Worldly people were too bad, and the kids in the congregation were just sneaking around behind their parents backs, so that left the old pioneers to befriend. Not bad, but no good for a teenager trying to find a peer group to identify with. I finally started making friends right before leaving when I finally decided to branch out to other congregations and found some sane 19 year olds, but now they won't talk to me cause I"m not going to meetings. The Witnesses who snuck out? Well, 2 are on drugs ( I mean hard drugs-one had a crack baby who she left with her parents to care for), a 2 are married, but have no money for jobs since they have no education, so have extra stress, plenty married and then divorcedbefore 20 years old, and the occasional still in the truth acting like perfect backstabbing witness elderettes. It's kind of sad.

    My mom was never included in stuff because she was divorced and also was too "good." There would always be anniversary parties and stuff that we weren't invited to even though everyone else our age and my mom's age was at. When I was like 17, I finally got an invitation to my friend's parents 20th anniversary, and don't you know, my own mother wasn't invited. I was shocked. Everyone in the congregation was there. She was the pioneer that was really trying, Yet she was always left out of stuff in the congregation. It's disgusting.

  • crazyblondeb
    crazyblondeb

    I never did fit in, either. I had one friend I'd go stay with on weekends. The rest of the time our family might get invited sometimes, but my mom would start her bawling shit and storm off home. Later, I was considered "bad association" alot. I kept the elders jumping, working for their titles!! I've never felt like I belonged anywhere, at least till I found all of you.

    So now you are all stuck with me, come hell or high water!!!

    shelley

  • orangefatcat
    orangefatcat
    Jws never really like anyone except themselves and they can hardly stand themselves. I never fit in either cause i was to wild ,whatever that meant . I suppose swinging from the womens bathroom door to the mens was not appropiate at the time and them smelling my fingers after i scratched my butt,oh well

    Holy crap, Monkey you are indeed a rotten stinky monkey. I am so glad I never sat beside you in a meeting. pee uuu. [peepeelapu must have been your bestest friend.I am sitting here thinking of all those disgusting germs.. Your words ring out well piggy oops I mean monkey....

    Anyway to the topic at hand, no I didn't fit in, I wasn't allowed to fit in. I was never allowed to go to parties or out on dates or talk to brothers without getting home and having a major sex lecture from my father. He thought every guy trys to get into girls pants. Or I was trying to get into a guys pants.

    Our family was not very popular during the years that my mother was still on her demonic kick. She scared everyone away.

    Only after I went away to Montreal to live I was finally able to do things that I couldn't do at home. Not that I did bad things, I just enjoyed having fun going out for pizza and a movie and to live like a normal person. My younger sister moved with me to montreal and she was only sixteen and she would tell my parents in a flash if I was doing something wrong. the best day of my life was when she moved away. I had some great friends in montreal. Egyptian brothers and sisters are so hospitible and I was always asked to their home for wonderful food and entertainment.

    At home my mom pushed many witnesses away with her standoffish ways. She didn't like any sister who came to visit with their children, it got on my moms nerves. She always bad mouthed so many in the congregation for not doing this or that or not being theocratic or would argue with brothers about stupid biblical dates. It was a nightmare. I really hated living at home. I would have given a million dollars to live with me dearly beloved grandma who by the way was not a JWs. She was the best of the best. She always took me every where and when my dad was drinking and my parents were fighting I would go to her house just for some peace and love. I miss her dearly.

    I fitted in when I was older and the friends liked me for whom I was and not some pretentcious person. What you see was what you got. I have had a friend for over twenty years. We are true friends and here on JWD I have many fine good friends who except me for me. I love them all.

    you guys are the greatest..

    Love Orangefatcat.

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Misfit in or out of the Hall. I'm not your average everyday black man. I feel like such an enigma that I find it difficult to relate to the usual things that many blacks take for granted. I don't watch sports, like football or basketball. I don't even know what it means to get a first down or what a double dribble or travelling is. I never know who to pick for the fights because I never know who's boxing.

    I think television is a near absolute waste of time. Had it not been for sydnicated television, I would've never knew the fun I was missing when Seinfeld began it's re-runs, five years after it was already on the air. Most of the shows are absolute side-splitters!!!

    I do, however, relish in being an enigma, a horse of a different colour, as it where. I stand in a capacity entirely my own. I do things so differently that some folx kinda' sit back and shake their head at first, then they do a double take and hopefully I stir them to thinking. I back my car into parking spaces every chance I get, when I get back in my car, I would prefer to see where it is I'm going, as opposed to where I've been. I'll sport a Super Size Jumbo umbrella in the midst of a heat wave in the blazing sun, as opposed to looking conventional by merely wearing a hat a sunglasses. I've been known to carry an umbrella in a rainstorm and never open it up. I'm weird a little wild, but I don't mind being different. I'm un-orthodox in virtually all my thoughts and ideas. And I'm somewhat OK with it.

    Being different, strange, unususal or out of the ordinary is often not a curse, but a blessing. If I was being picked out of a police line-up, they would certainly say, " Oh, he's not the one " or " That's him, that's him, he's the one that did it!!! " No middle ground or straddling the fence, with me. It's either right or left, right or wrong. You either love me, or you want to have me asassinated.

  • patio34
    patio34


    Great question! One of the surprising effects of leaving JWs was that there were actually people who wanted to be my friends! I hadn't realized how friendless I had been for decades. It seems to me that most of the friendships amongst JWs I interacted with were superficial, shallow, and had a forced quality (I love you because I have to because the Bible commands it . . . ). And some others I knew would use the question "how's so-and-so doing spiritually?" in a thinly disguised quest for gossip and backbiting. And then, as brought out in one anti-cult book, deep friendships are implicitly forbidden, because you are always supposed to put God first, or the congregation. So, your friend was always conditional in case they strayed from the cult. My "best" friend for years hasn't spoken to me since I first expressed the tiniest departure from the party line.

    Pat

  • datsdethspicable
  • darkuncle29
    darkuncle29

    I've felt like an observer most of my life. I'm use to this aspect for the most part, but it would be nice to learn to live experientially.

  • freedom96
    freedom96

    Many congregations as well as others in life have their own little cliques, for whatever reason.

    I felt a part of some halls, and not in others. That is one reason I don't think anyone will come after me in the hall I attended last, because no one really took the time to know me. Same with me, I didn't care to know any of them either.

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