Did you ever feel like you never fit in?

by Dragonlady76 43 Replies latest jw friends

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  Dragonlady76

  My folks started studying when I was around 3 and I remember how much my life changed, no more birthday parties or presents, christmas was but a memory and I had to dress up and attend meetings..... then came field service .

  I think that having had a taste of "normalcy" as a young child made it harder for me later, I didn't understand "why", it lead me to resent the society as I got older. Worse still was the fact that I was raised an only child and our hall didn't have many kids to begin with in my age group, The only kids I could talk to or hang out with were the ones from school and they were "worldy," so that was out. I longed to have friends so badly! I remember this episode vividly: I was in 3rd grade and this girl in my class was having a slumber party for her birthday and she was passing out these beautiful invitations to all the girls in our class and she passed by me and said.."I would invite you, but your a JW and they don't celebrate birthdays". I felt so left out and like total shit , I was devastated, all I wanted were friends and to do fun stuff with, I was just a kid. I never have forgotten how I felt at that very moment in time. I think it tainted my future as a dub.

  DL76
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  Dragonlady76

  The loss of a "normal" childhood is probably the thing that I hate the WBTS for the most.

  YUP!

  BTW, Big D, where in hades have you been? Drop me an IM sometime.

  DL76
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  Whiskeyjack

  Not really.

  My parents were adamant about us (me and my sibs) "toeing the line" with no exceptions. As most of you can appreciate, that meant none of the other kids in the hall were acceptable once we hit adolescence (with most kids trying out the normal, stupid things kids do at this stage). They investigated every incident when other JW parents were content with the "don't ask...don't tell" policy so none of us had any friends in the org. while growing up. Everytime I went out with the PO's son (who wasn't that bad a kid), I got into "trouble".

  High School was worse even though I was on relatively good terms with the jocks, the nerds and the druggies, I wasn't part of anything trying to toe that line, floating along being as invisible as I could be. This isolation lasted until I got my first real job iin banking (after leaving home) which opened my eyes to how "abnormal" my upbringing and my socialization was.

  Today, I still have to work at being a "friend" and feeling a part of my community (voting, giving to charity, interacting with my neighbors, being a "real" friend, etc...). But, better late than never!

  W.
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  ima sinner

  i remember i took the young people asks book to school to do a little informal witnessing to help out my fellow peers and the first person to look at it didnt make it past the masterbation chapter which they didnt read they just told everyone i had a book on how to masterbate. all the kids had a nice laugh and the teacher had to take me out side to make sure i didnt have porn going around the fourth grade and told all the students i wouldnt bring anymore books like that to school.

  i spent the first 19 years of my life trying not to be worldly and not making friends to all of a sudden they were they only people that would talk to me or have anything to do with me. you feel alone real quick