Hi,
This is my first post and here's my story.
My father became a witness long ago and my mom remained a lutheran. Our attendance was sporadic due to mom's opposition. We were shunned by the JW's and their kids. They knew our mom was lutheran and that she kept us from attending many meetings. We were considered to be of the tainted "worldly" variety. At 15 yrs of age I told mom that when I graduated from high school I would become a FT pioneer. She never allowed us to go to the hall again. I spent the rest of my youth like a normal kid with "worldly" friends, celebrating bdays ect....
Fast forward to today.
I am happily married with twin daughters. Dad has never stopped trying to get me and mom into the fold, my four siblings have since been baptized into this cult.
I agreed to give the JWs a try, since I have never dealt with them as a adult. In the past I had wanted to go to the K.H. but always felt unworthy of such fine, loving, bible scholars (don't laugh!). Slowly over the last 2 yrs the veil has been lifted from my eyes. This is what I uncovered:
1) That two of the young brothers are unemployed (not due to health but laziness), sit home playing video games all day, keep the house a mess while their wives work fulltime. When they complain to elders they are told to pray and to endure. One of these men gives such eloquent comments at the hall you would think he was a prophet.
2) One of these men hits on a certain sister all the time. The other totally ignores me at the hall but goes out of his way to talk to me while I am jogging in near total darkness at 5am. After a week he finally got the message that I was not interested.
3) The P.O.'s wife who gives such long spiritual comments, yet when we ran into each other out in public I was astounded at her trash talking of witnesses and other topics as well. Could not believe this jeckle and hyde, machete-mouthed witch was the P.O.'s wife.
4) The witness who keeps donations received out in service. They say they are poor and need the money, when they are really just tightwads and this does not justify stealing.
5) The elder "wanna be" who is vicious and manipulative in his business dealings.
6) The brother that treats his wife like a slave. He openly chastises her. She is not allowed any friends, makeup, nice clothing and must ft pioneer with 5 young kids at home. She also has a chronic illness to deal with.
7) The elder who drove his wife away. She left him, but I KNOW for a fact that he worked the system and found loop holes to make her miserable and drive her away. Soon after being left he was so openly happy and hanging out with the unmarried guys. He did not seem the distressed husband. He also started going into service with a young, 19yrs old sister (he is 35) in service alone on a regular basis. Can't anyone see this but me????
8) The elder who is the KING of materialism. Owns a mansion, dresses like G.Q., takes many vacations with his wife but will accuse and condemn others for working to hard for material gain.
9) A young married sister having an affair wirh a fireman.
10) The brother and sister (literally) who don't talk and sit on opposite ends of the hall, while fighting in court over their parents estate.
11) The grandfather being shunned for not shunning his dfed grandson, even though this man has given 40 yrs to ft pioneering.
12) A brother starting rumors about a man being gay, later finding out he had a wife and kids. The brother said "well he sure looks gay".
13) The brother and sister who had an affair together while both being married. They both divorced their respective mates and remarried each other. After a yr of dfed they are now in good standing. I only found this one out recently. Could not believe it due to their very critical attitudes.
14) The sister that gives me my study is always gossiping about the friends, gossips about her other study to me and I found pictures of her in her house that were shocking. She was at a restaurant with unknown people and in the middle of the table was a bday cake! The list goes on and on.
So what haveI learned?
That I can read the bible myself, pray and have my own personal relationship with God. I have learned all about the JW twisted scriptural dogma and contradictory beleifs. I have to be responsible for my own spiritually and do my own studying and not rely on others to do it for me. They bury their heads in the sand and act like one big happy family. They suffer from "STEPFORD WIFE" syndrome and are not people with likes, dislikes, hobbies, personalities and goals but empty "shell people" programmed to adhere to the whims of unseen men in Brooklyn. Over time this has really troubled me, especially since I have began to question myself even though I know intellectually that this is a harmful ,manmade, pernicious dogma. I feel sorry for them in a way but not much. These are not only brainwashed losers but also narrow minded, cruel, judgmental, sanctimoniuos, self righteous people. So many of these people have openly shunned me since my first day back to the hall over 2 yrs ago, not even so much as saying hello to me. Why am I being shunned? I am not dfed or have ever been dfed, I go to all the meetings and haveb a regular bible study, so where's the problem???? I have never confronted them with their incorrect interpretation ofs cripture and have kept all doubts to myself. After learning all these things and much more I have come to the realization that they are not worthy of MY friendship. I lead a clean life and feel that these are bad influences on MY family and myself.
The last straw......:
I am by no means a beauty queen but I do hold my own. I am thin with a good figure, have long, thick hair mid-back level and I know how to take care of myself. I groom myself very well and always try to look my very best. I wear stylish clothing (no plunging necklines and skirts at or just below the knee) perfume, make-up, high heels (3-4 in), jewelry, nail polish ect...
I have been told directly and indirectly that I care too much for myself. I wear the same styles as other sisters. They are overweight, not as attractive, wear frumpy shoes, no make-up, don't really do much with their hair ect... This is not my fault. Many of them would look much, much better if they cared for their appearance. One of the sisters agreed to go to the gym with me but her husband quickly put a stop to that and will not even look my way and if he does he is always wearing a nasty expression on his face.
The following situation has taken place at our hall:
A new sister and her daughter (I'll call the daughter sister virtue) came to town and got busy from the start with 4 of the brothers. She went out with them alone (I do not claim to know if they a had physical realtionships) and in preaching. The bombshell is that she did have sex and is pregnant by a 19yr old brother! She is 35, about 60 pounds overweight, frumpy, wears no make-up, never does her hair, gives such spiritual comments and is a ft pioneer. Two of the men are pissed because they claim to have been making wedding plans, with one of them moving closer to town. Turns out she had lied about a lot of things about her past, including a divorce. The whole K.H. is shocked.
At the next meeting the mother of sister virtue came up to me and commented on the height of my high heeled shoes. I lost it and said "Well, it seems that dear sister virtue wears only flats but it sure has not dampened her love life any." I turned and walked off.
There have been so many comments and sunday talkes with high emphasis on women and inner beauty as opposed to outer beauty. And how men need to keep on guard for seductive women. Being attractive and confidant has nothing to do with being a slut. There is this misconception that the prettier a woman the more sexually charged, insatiable, predatory and "man eating" she becomes.
All the brothers in question ignore me, yet stared at me during the meetings. Then they all fawn over sister virtue who turns out to be a liar, a tease and a fornicator. I don't like to judge but I say this about her because she openly made comments about me as others did as well and they all treated me at arms length based on nothing more than my looks. Meanwhile this sister virtue was laughing at the whole K.H. and making a mockery of their flawed self righteous standards and stirring up the whole congregation in the process. I say they all had it coming to them.
Sorry to rant but this has been on my chest for a long time.
There, I have said my peace. I am not sure what the future has for me and I am still working through conflicting feelings but I thank you all for listening and for having this forum to turn too. Thank you so much.
Krista