Do you miss feeling that "Jehovah" was listening to prayers?

LyinEyes

This is hard to explain, but I will try. The other day, my neice was put in the hospital for test , after having two seizures, she is 20 and has never had any medical problems at all. Driving home, I wanted to pray.........I wanted to be able to pray to Jehovah as I have always done all of my life when I felt things were out of my hands. I wanted to have that feeling like He would take care of things, and if I prayed hard enough maybe he would help me. I now know, that by doing that it seemed to take the burden of helplessness off of my shoulders.

Now, don't get me wrong,,,,,,,, I don't even know for sure if I believe in any God anymore,,,,,,,and there are some definate love/hate issues with this God"Jehovah". I am not being disrespectful to the Higher Power/God, but the issues are with the JW's view of God/Jehovah.

Most of the time, I don't feel the need to pray. I am still working on finding my own spirituality, nothing seems to come naturally to me,,,,,and I know that I am on a road to finding spiritually but have yet to find it, fully. I also know that I may be on this road until I die and I am ok with that too.

I am just saying , being honest..that...sometimes,,,,,,,,,,, I miss that I used to believe.

Charisma

yes. Sometimes I am not even sure how to pray any more. So most of the time I do not. And when I do, I usually start out calling him "Jehovah" and then apologize immediately after, in case I am referring to him in a wrong way. Once I get past that, I pray about what is close to my heart and hope he is listening. I think he is. But I wish I was more sure about the proper way to pray

BrendaCloutier

Problem was, I never FELT that Jehovah, Jesus, or anyone else heard my prayers. So I didn't pray much.

I have prayed far more since I left JW'dom, than in. I have become far more spiritual since. I believe far more than I ever used to. But then, I was only 20 when I left. What did I know except that "Jehovah's Organization" didn't treat people (me) in a loving manner.

So my answer is "No, I don't miss it."

LyinEyes

I do feel that these feelings of "missing" the old JW ways,,,,,,,as crazy as that sounds......hehe, has to do with years of brainwashing.

I am 38 and for 35 of those years I was a true believer that there was a "Jehovah" and that he not only heard my prayers but read my heart as well.

Even after all of the recovery I have been thru these last three years, I feel so very "normal" most of the time, but there is still the residual feelings that pop up from time to time, always reminding me of years and years of what was fed into my mind . Being a JW, it seemed compared to now , was easier in a sense, because then we had the answers to everything, if things were too much for us to bare , we just had to "wait on Jehovah" and he would take care of it all. ..........yeah right....lol.

tetrapod.sapien

i know, it's crazy. i don't miss it per se, but i do find myself "ramping up" to a prayer sometimes when i am super stressed or something. it's part of our journey of deconversion. i hope i am over it someday.

undercover

Even as a JW I didn't pray that much. Even when I was at my most dubiest(is that a word?) I didn't rely on prayer very often. Never at bedtime, only at meals when other JWs were present and only rarely during moments of stress.

I never put into a formal thought until much later, but I kind of figured that if Jehovah is all powerful and he can read our thoughts and heart condition, I don't need to tell him anything, he already knows it. I know that those who have faith in God could give me several reasons why that reasoning is faulty in their thinking but I think it boils down to the real reason is that God, Jehovah, whatever has never been a real person to me.

It's hard to talk to someone who you're not sure is even there. Ever carry on a conversation thinking that the other person is right there listening and when you turn around you're embarrassed because you realize they weren't there and you were talking to nobody? That's how I felt praying.

rebel8

It's natural to miss it. After all, that's why beliefs were invented in the first place--to give people a feeling that there's someone out there who

1) knows what's going on and is paying attention (all-knowing)

2) acts in our best interests (all-good)

3) has the power over things we're powerless over (all-powerful)

You've just defined the Christian diety. He's just like Santa--believing in him makes us feel good.

wanderlustguy

It is a scary thing to think we are on our own, especially after being told "trust in Jehovah", and so many times "He" seemed to pull us through, but now looking back, was it our own strength that really helped us overcome? Was it not our own stronger heart and will to endure that carried us further when most would have given up?

Maybe we are on our own, but faith is still a valid term. Sometimes I think we have to have faith, not in God or supreme whatever, but faith that no matter what, we will be able to keep walking forward in our lives.

I miss you sister, and I look forward to hearing your voice one day soon.

jst2laws

Lyineyes,

Don't feel ashamed of your desire to pray. Being duped by the publishing corporation that evolved into a religion and finding out their god, Jehovah, does not exist does not mean all spirituality is a fraud.

I prayed as a Baptist and felt I was connecting to what we called God.

I prayed s a JW and felt I was connecting to what we called Jehovah.

Now, as a non-religious person, I pray and I connect just as before, but not to a guy in the sky. I have grown spiritually and do not pray to an anthropomorphic god which has a name. I know serveral scientist who also pray but do not believe in the god of orthodox religion. It is beneficial for you and it has been documented to have good affect on others.

Whatever it is we are doing and whom ever or whatever it is we are speaking to, it is real. You know it and so do I. Those who never connected may someday appreciate this experience as well. So keep doing it.

Just my opinion, and experience.

Jst2laws

LyinEyes

Just2laws said:

Don't feel ashamed of your desire to pray.

Ya know,,,,,,,I didnt think of it that way until now......that I am ashamed of feeling stupid for wanting to pray again.

I mean I have admitted that I don't know who the Higher Power is, or even if I even believe in that broad rage conclusion. I have to wonder if I am putting up road blocks, so to speak, by not allowing myself to even go there,,,,,talking about prayer.

I have been totally afraid to go to a church, to even re-read the Bible, for fear that I will be brainwashed all over again with some other "crazy" belief as the JW's.

I am stating to see a pattern in my actions as of late , in that instead of moving forward with certain situations I just walk away, so as to not get hurt. I am doing this with my Father right now.........not replying back to him, for fear of letting him into my life again, because I feel he will most likely just cause me pain. I am pretty sure I am right about him.

Now about Prayer,,,,,,,,,,,maybe I can go a different direction in my thinking on that one.

Thanks to all for the thoughts and replies,,,,,,,it is always great to get other viewpoints on things like this.

Do you miss feeling that "Jehovah" was listening to prayers?

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