Coming clean about what's been going on lately, I need to talk......

by Jez 60 Replies latest social family

  • evita
    evita

    Jez

    Sorry you have to go thru this difficult situation. You did everything you could to be a loyal friend. Now it may be time to be true to yourself and live life the way you know is right for you. I know it's hard and so unfair. My thoughts are with you.

    Evi

  • Oroborus21
    Oroborus21

    Sorry to hear about this Jez,

    What will you do now? Will you keep going to meetings?

    I am afraid all you can do is be very patient and hope that she will come around eventually.

    Maybe after a little while you can approach her and talk with her and find some common ground and agree to some arrangement that works, like not discussing JW related issues at all, just enjoying being family. this will be largely up to her I guess.

    keep us up to date and know you have lots of friends here and elsewhere that are behind you.

    -Eduardo

  • Quotes
    Quotes

    Jez,

    (((Big hugs for you.)))

    Jez said:
    =================
    She basically was disgusted, said it was full of crap and lies
    =================

    Hey, too bad it may be too late to ask your friend if this is all lies: http://quotes.watchtower.ca/607bce-table.htm.

  • JW83
    JW83

    Hugs from me too, Jez. A good friend of mine did something similar to me, and I still miss her a lot ...

    They are all secretly afraid, I think, because if they dare to step out of the box, they might just realise their life is based on a web of lies. Love for yourself is more important than love from other people - just be glad you have the strength to see what it is all about!

  • avishai
    avishai
    Well, it has been almost 2 months of meetings attendance for me, and what I did not know what that she stayed on this site, and looked for me until she found me.

    Just like a JW. THey think it's their business to Spy on a fully grown adult who is doing their own thing and make them do what they want. This is soooo messed up. She's treating you like a frickin 10 year old, and then acting self righteous about it. Like most dubs.

    SIL. Mind your own damn business, or grow up and treat Jez like an actual damn adult, OK? We do, and we love her for who she is, not what she does for us.

  • Oroborus21
    Oroborus21

    by the way, so that she doesn't spend "two months" "looking for you" again,

    just tell her that she can go to your profile and check your post history. Didn't she know to do that?

    -Eduardo

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Jez,

    I'm so sorry.

    Thinking back of your previous threads, though, I'd like to add the following fwiw: it seems this has been an emotionally intense, yet highly manipulative relationship. And for this reason I doubt she will really give up in the long run. But perhaps you should.

  • diamondblue1974
    diamondblue1974

    Jez I'm truly sorry; it does reinforce the fact that the witnesses do not know anything about the concept of true friendship and what that means; if it is any consolation (and im not sure it is given the hurt you feel), this isnt the friend you know and love, its a frightened, unsure and manipulated mind that doesnt know what to do for the best.

    If you believe its the right thing to do why dont you write to her in the terms that despite your differing beliefs you will agree to disagree and hope you both can still be friends; I hope what she has read on this site troubles her...and I dont mean in a horrible sense more in the sense that it makes her think about her belief system; its natural for her to react this way given the high level of indoctrination she has undergone and theres a truism which springs to mind....'the truth hurts...'

    Again I am truly sorry and whilst it wont help you feel better its handy to know that there are plenty here me included that have gone through or going what you are now.

    Hope you feel better soon

    DB74

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    hey im feelin ya babe..one of the things my councellor pointed out to me was that because of the way i was treated my family were put in a position of having their faith tested too and they didnt want that and i was a constant reminder of this so was easier to not associate with the reminder....your sil has found things here that she did not want to know and now faces a dilemma as to how she reacts to this..her solution -and i think that if her 'life' (now and future) is dependant on her having faith in what she believes then you have to respect that or at the very least make an allowance for it- is to limit her association with you...but i suspect that it is not you that she is not wanting to be friends with but what you represent...i was thinking about this comment of yours

    People in other families don't have to be the same religion and guess what, they are not afraid that the ones that are NOT of the same faith will 'sway' their or their childrens thinking. Why can't ppl just be happy that family is at least spiritual

    this is true but the reason it is true is because in most cases people do not care so much about their beliefs to share them with others so there is no risk of being influenced..however as jws we did share our beliefs and it seems that in most cases when we cease to be jws we want to tell the world that too. so maybe if you could arrange a truce that could be mutually acceptable then the friendship need not come to a stop...u wont influence her anymore if she accepts that you dont want her influencing you..it could well be that she is just as upset at losing a friend as you are and would welcome a compromise..you certainly would lose nothing by trying

    it may not work...but i hope it or something else that others have suggested does for you

  • prophecor

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