by loosie 43 Replies latest jw experiences
I know I've post this before, but I still really crack up over this.
Does any older ones remember when ET came out? The Watchtower had a mini article on the back page about ET's finger being a phallic symbol and that he was likened to Jesus in the movie as a healer and being raised up from the dead.
I find that utterly hysterical. I thought it was a cute, entertaining movie myself.
I could fill a quarry with messed up logic that my family come out with if only you could materialise stupid.
I remember I was told not to eat red M&M's or Skittles cos they were made from cochineal (sp?) which was made from insect's blood or something.
I wasn't allowed to watch Scooby Doo (not that I wanted to) cos it usually had a haunted fairground or something similar in it. Screwy thing is it never turns out to be haunted but just the manager.
At Mayday we couldn't dance round the maypole but we could sit on it to steady it for the other kids. Turns out we were sitting on the representation of a giant phallus.
Recently I was watching who wants to be a millionaire with my grandma and the guy answered the £250,000 question (something about British history) she said 'Ohh, the demons must be whispering the answers to him'. I said 'Hold on, you got the answer right too. Are demons telling you the answers?'. Her reply was 'Well he's black, he wouldn't know stuff like that'. Absolutely priceless. I thought the ignorance of the first comment couldn't be topped but she trumped it with an awful racial slur.
My family still hold to the rule that 'everything is either angelic direction or demonic intervention'. That statement is verbatim what a CO once said from the platform and it served to galvanise their ignorance and paranoia.
anything to do with science is some of the weirdest logic i came across in the org. like trying to explain noah and the flood. or "interpreting"/bending the genesis creation account to fit science.
but i still think the weirdest is when the society goes off on their "no one can live off the religion of their parents" or (to worldly people) "you must test your religion to make sure it is true." rants. it is weird logically, because they seem to think that the vice versa application does not apply to them. "test other false religions, but don't you dare test ours!"
I remember I was told not to eat red M&M's or Skittles cos they were made from cochineal (sp?) which was made from insect's blood or something.
Insects have blood?
One of the dumbest things I remember an elder saying was that "an open mind is like an open sewer - you never know what kind of garbage you'll get in there."
ET's finger being a phallic symbol
That is one ugly phalic symbol. That would be enough for me never to want to have sex again...lol Good thing I didn't about et's finger before I saw a real one.
'Well he's black, he wouldn't know stuff like that
Like Jay Leno says you can't make this stuff up.
Heaven forbid if you were to have internal bleeding of the stomach, you'd be doomed for sure. Unbelieveably ridiculous.
What a great topic. I could post for hours...
I'll limit it to two.
Father: "The Bible has been around for so long, and endured though many attempts at distruction, it must be the word of god"
Me: "Well, if I were god, I would have done all that, and still come through with a book that was easy to understand an not open to so many interpretations."
Brother: "If homosexuality was an accepted form of sexuality, we would see it in nature."
Me: "I don't see many animals driving BMW's, taking out mortgages or having vasectomies, but that hasn't stopped you."
Brother: "If homosexuality was an accepted form of sexuality, we would see it in nature."
Actually homosexuality is seen in nature in apes, monkeys, giraffes, mice... in fact most species. Even plants have homosexual tendencies.
My Favorate is "Jehovah will bring the matter to light when he is ready". The elders told me this when I asked why my father-in-law was not being DFed for child molestation. He was still claiming to be innocent even though at least 17 girls had accused him and he had already been arrested. I told them that it seemed to me that If he was arrested and all these girls had come forward at one time or another that Jehovah was ALREADY bringing the matter to light. Even after he was convicted he was not DFed and this was still their answer! I guess in their twisted logic Jehovah was not bringing ANYTHING to light until there were 2 witnesses to a single incident or he confessed. What a load of bull......
i couldnt find my keys one day before the meeting, and i was late, so i was telling this other jw about how i couldnt find my keys and she said "the devil and his demons sometimes hide stuff from us to keep us from going to the meetings"
i was like "what about when i'm going to work and can't find my keys?"
swift
