"I prayed for you" (page 3)

kls

When someone tells me that it makes me think like i am a bad person in need of their sympathy which i don't and it is insulting. I know they mean well but really i don't need it or want it.

Billygoat

It used to irritate me (I'm not a believer) but I've come to the understanding that the person(s) doing the praying really cares about/loves me . It probably makes them feel like they're doing something extra special and personal. (Hey, paint my house instead) It's the equivelant of me telling someone I'll be thinking of them or sending positive vibes their way when they're going through a bad stretch. I'm not going to take that away from them.

Thank you for choosing to not take offense to it. I am a believer and I do pray for people all the time, whether they know of it or not. Whether they agree with it or not. It's something I want to do out of kindness and it's not something I offer to just anyone. It's never out of pity. My prayer life is very personal and I find solace and joy in it - if you don't that fine - but it's still my prayer life. Since I AM a believer, I don't ask you to go against what you do and pray for me when you're not a pray-er, right? I'll take whatever it is that you send in my behalf because I respect your beliefs. Isn't just better all around to be gracious/thankful about a gift someone gives you even if you don't want it? If you're a witch wishing to help me, you cast a spell out of the kindness of your heart, who am I to say no? It's your gift. I'll simply say thank you.

Nathan Natas

Scully, you poor, poor woman!

I'm humming some showtunes for you.

Scully

I'm humming some showtunes for you.

Now that's more like it! I'm partial to the theme from "Pinky and The Brain", if you feel like making it more personal.

missy04

It does bother me at times. I know they are just trying to make be encouraging but for some reason that bugs me too. Especially when I don't need a prayer and need real help with something LOL!

~Sarah

Scully

In my experience these people don't say this in a condescending way.

Most don't, you're right, garybuss. But there are some who say it in such a way that they make it sound like they have a direct line to The Big Guy, or that you aren't good enough to pray for yourself. That's when I get most bristly about it.

Terry

Depending on what mood I'm in at the time, I regard "I will pray for you" in the following manner.

I WILL PRAY FOR YOU really means:

1.You are helpless! You can't be trusted. I'm going over your head to the boss and ask for an intervention!

2.I'm going to speak to my imaginary friend and request purely illusory assistance on your behalf. This is because I'm delusional and don't believe in actually doing anything myself to help people.

3. I have no skills that enable me to participate in life in a meaningful way; therefore, to cope, I pretend to be helpful while not doing anything at all. Since this makes me feel superior to everybody else I can view your life as pathetic and in need of my help. I have important connections to the most powerful forces in the universe and will put in a good word for you out of the kindness of my condescending heart.

Or....

I say this:

"I'd much rather you dance the Hokey Pokey for me. It is just as effective as prayer, but, more entertaining for me to watch as you do something useless."

Or....

"Oh, please don't do that. Please don't pray for me. Your influence on my behalf might cause the Supreme Being to help somebody he'd ordinarily completely ignore just because he's obligated to do your bidding. It just doesn't seem fair."

Or...

I smile and ignore it.

Terry

bebu

I guess it depends. If someone is merely complaining about circumstances that I can do nothing about, I think it's better to not let the left hand know what the right hand's up to... But I also remember feeling overwhelmed with gratitude when someone stopped to tell me they were praying for me during what they knew was a really wretched period in my life; it really encouraged me a lot.

I think it can sound condescending, unfortunately, in certain contexts. You have to consider giving the benefit of the doubt, if you can.

On this board, when a tragedy strikes someone, everyone offering prayers/good wishes/thoughts of love doesn't seem out of order. At such a point, I decide not to worry about being politically correct and write from my heart.

bebu

the_classicist

Personally, I think its only something you should do if someone asks you do it. When you tell someone about it, its kind of like bragging.

AlmostAtheist

The Bible speaks very highly of praying for others (which is one of the two main reasons I decided I couldn't believe in it anymore), and Paul asked the congregations to pray for him. If asked to honestly evaluate them, he would probably admit that he felt he was closer to God than some of them were, yet he asked them to pray for him.

So from the perspective of the Bible believer, I don't think they are likely to feel they are more worthy of an answered prayer than you are. It's a 'strength in numbers' thing with them, the more people that pray for [whatever], the more likely God is to make [whatever] happen. It really seems ludicrous to me, but to those that believe in it, it's just a sincere attempt to help.

Almost like someone that finds out you hurt your foot and brings you and your family a meal. They aren't saying, "I'll bet your cooking sucks", they're saying, "I'd really like to be of some help to you right now."

When I was a dub, "worldly" people would suggest they would pray for me and though I believed their god didn't exist (how ironic!) I always thanked them and genuinely appreciated their desire to help.

Though I'll certainly grant paying the Visa bill or dancing the hokey-pokey would have been more effective!

Dave

"I prayed for you"

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