Role-Playing & XJW Discussion Boards.

by hillary_step 89 Replies latest jw friends

  • hillary_step
    hillary_step

    Hello,

    I have been on this board for around four years.

    At first I took what went on here quite seriously, well for about three weeks, but it then became quite obvious to me that the depth of role-playing that went on on these boards was so deep-rooted that it would be a foolish waste of time to do anything more than to read some of the more informative threads and delegate the rest to entertainment.

    I hope Narkissos forgives me for quoting something that he wrote yesterday, but his thought clearly encapuslates the reason why it is foolish to presume that you know, or will ever know the person who is posting by what they write, and why judgments on a persons character are more than often fatally flawed.

    Any of our social commitments in "real life" implies some role playing. Perhaps posting on a db involves just a little more of it.

    Role-playing imho *does* reach very deeply on these boards. Skinny, pimply young men can play the role of Don Juan, homely housewives, Mata Hari. People lie about themselves and their achievements in the hope of impressing those who cannot test their claims. Those deleted or edited by moderators become Amnesty International in their own minds, fighting spit for spit, blood for blood, with their brothers at the barricades. Many posters seem so sexually aroused, that the mere mention of phrases like 'oral sex' can throw them into a seventeen page, 10,000 view frenzy. We have seen it so often, again and again.

    As Narkissos profoundly noted, we all role-play in real life, we are all driven to do so by the need to function socially, as well as peer-pressure, to deny that would mean that we lie to ourselves. On these boards the role-playing is at a much deeper level. In real life for example, I trust people only very gradually. I do not love anybody unconditionally in real life - imho that is a ludicrous phrase born from 60's California and so far from healthy living that it suprises me that people cannot see how it demands what it should not from people. On these Boards I trust nobody but those that I have met, or have come to know from off-board communication and most of these would not recognize me from my posts. My privacy is important to me.

    Our board personna is often, due to what Narkissos notes above, so far from reality as to render judgments on anything but words, impossible. For example many of the men may not want their wives to read their posts, and visa versa. I have known of one marriage that involved children that was shattered when her husband read her posts here, obviously not understanding the depth or role-playing that does take place when people cannot read the language of our body.

    So I ask, apart from the information gathering that takes place and is often useful, do you think that many of us take what goes on here *far* too seriously?

    Best regards - HS

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    yes.

    Do you have a link to the discussion you mentioned? You've peaked my curiousity.

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist
    So I ask, apart from the information gathering that takes place and is often useful, do you think that many of us take what goes on here *far* too seriously?

    I don't take it all that seriously, but I think I do make the mistake of thinking I *know* the people on the board because I have read their posts. When I post, I read it all back, edit it, delete stuff I really shouldn't say (post it, re-read it, edit it again). In real life, I don't do that (because I can't). So whatever persona I throw off here is probably nothing like my real person. I suspect many (all?) are the same.

    It's true of all online discussion groups. I was on a programming group and came to "know" a guy as a real jerk. Arrogant, know-it-all (he really did, but that's not the point!), cutting people down. I knew I hated him. But when I met him at a user group meeting, he was a cool guy. I would never have guessed this Jekyl/Hyde thing, but I've seen it with others, too, and become convinced that it's just standard stuff.

    Dave of the "I don't know you, you don't know me, but I like you anyway" class

  • minimus
    minimus

    I'm no "minimus" in real life, "Hillary".

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    I can't figure out how to format paragraphs from Firefox, my IE crashed. (If someone pms me quick with the how-to, I'll fix it.) :( I would tend to agree with you to a certain extent. I can only speak to my own experience, but I do think there are exceptions. For instance, what a person sees of me on the board is pretty much how I interact in "real life." I'm verbose, opinionated and often take myself too seriously. I'm also quick to humor and easily amused. I joke often, but usually no one except me gets the jokes. I'm also very tender hearted, and will go out of my way to help others. I give out lots of information about myself, but withhold plenty also. I believe I am what I am in "real life" and people who meet me are rarely surprised by anything other than that I don't look more like a librarian.

    I would say the same about others I have met from various DBs. Some folks you meet and you recognize their personality immediately. Short list (and by no means complete) of people I have met from here who were truly represented by their persona on DB: Deleted (Glenmore), Bisous, Craig, Sphere, Maybesbabies, Avishai, SNG... and others. There are also a few I have met who are not a thing like their online personality, and I've been a little surprised when I met them. Mostly this has been either a good thing or at least parallel, different, but still enjoyable to meet the real person.

    I suspect most people don't role-play on these boards anymore than they do in real life. A few see the anonymity as an opportunity to re-invent their whole life. I believe it is fair to make assumptions based on DB personality. If a person is caustic, cruel and contentious on the board, I have no desire to meet them IRL no matter how "nice" they might be for real. And I don't feel guilty about it, because somewhere, deep down, that personality is part of that person, otherwise, why use it?

    A little bit of role-playing, in real life and on DBs, is natural. People do present a public face, I guess how one reacts to others on the board may be a statement of how they are. If you are a major "role-player" yourself, you will likely assume everyone you interact with doesn't exist IRL. If you are wysiwyg on a DB, you will probably operate from the perspective that all but the most blatant of players are probably much like their online persona.

    BTW, in real life, I talk in circles alot... just like here. :)

    Odrade

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    H-S I love you unconditionally. Well at least in cyber space

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    Odrade is just like her board persona - complete with talking in circles. Just don't ask her about fish

    I don't even try to present a persona - I generally write as I would speak - that having been said we all "perform" in real life. All the world's a stage, and all that. And yes, my daily conversation is just as full of innuendo and winking as you see it portrayed here - I use emoticons to emulate live and enhance speech.

    I think that can be an entirely separate issue from how "seriously" people take online life.
    Whether people defend themselves with another layer of masks, or not, their online interactions are real for them!

    I've laughed and cried with the best and worst of them.
    I've seen the results of censure, and the frustrations it brings forth, in real life and online.
    I've also had the joy of seeing the "penny drop".

    An online board may be "cyber" life, but nonetheless it forms a significant part of the lives of the participants. I hate seeing it demeaned, just because some don't hold that view.

  • tijkmo
    tijkmo

    i am who i am on here and in life..some days i am bitter..some days i am frustrated..some days i am suicidal..some days i am funny and today for reasons that will remain a mystery i am happy....so however i am in life will be reflected by how i am on this board..it may well be my downfall as it was with my jc....but the bottom line is ..im just no damn good at lying

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    LT, was that winking? I thought you had something in your eye;) LOL (my version of firefox paragraph)

    How seriously we take online life... I definitely see that reflected in myself. I take my online relationships as seriously as I take my "real life" relationships. Most people I interact with online are "social friends." A few I regard as closer friendships, there are people I have deep respect for. And a few that have become good face-to-face in person friends.

    So, I do take my DB interactions seriously. LT makes a good point, using the flirting and innuendo for example. I don't do that much at all online, because I don't do it much in person. (Although, the occasional remark is sometimes too good to pass up :))

    BUT, I also recognize a need to "take a break" on occasion from DB life... just like taking a break from certain social cirles in "real life." Anytime someone gets too enmeshed with a particular group, whether online or off, it's unbalanced.


    O

  • Odrade
    Odrade

    AAAAHHHH! someone PLEASE tell me how to make a paragraph on Firefox. It even stripped out my nifty little "space-bar paragraph" spaces.

    YAY!!!! Paragraphs!!!

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