My wife is getting baptized on the 19th!

by Check_Your_Premises 111 Replies latest jw experiences

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    Is there any possibility you could ask her to wait 6 months? Is there any way you could beg and plead and tell her to please wait 6 months, that you both need to talk about this, that baptism is like buying a house, or getting a 30 year mortgage that you need to be OKAY with the decision together as a family.

    Buy yourself some time, offer her a vacation to Mexico, a cruise, something where the two of you can talk without constant interruptions and bring some REAL literature with you. Make her read Crisis of Conscience, ask her to read the book and if she still feels like she wants to get baptised that at least you will feel like she's informed.

    Please buy yourself time.

  • jaredg
    jaredg

    CYP.....what you need to focus on right now is buying some time. ask her why she wants to get baptised right away. remind her that she will have more opportunities to get baptised. also remind her that if she has already made a dedication to god in her heart then that is what really matters. the actual babtism is just a symbol of the dedication she has already made. if you can get her to agree to put off baptism for just 6 months then you will have won half the battle. talk about compromise and how important it is for you two to meet on mutual terms. she may be afriad that if she doesn't get baptised and if the "END" comes she won't make it but remind her that her dedication to god in prayer is what is most improtant and that god knows her heart condition. if she agrees to wait then you can slowly get her to think about it a bit more.

    regards,

    jared

  • outoftheorg
    outoftheorg

    Yes you are correct, that is exactly what happens.

    Will your wife visit this forum or talk to an ex jw who knows what goes on??

    My getting df'd is an example of what often happens.

    I was married, had two children still at home 5 and 8 yrs old.

    I and my wife were considered "irregular" and looked down on by the elders.

    Due to molestations when she was a child and emotional problems, she became suicidal.

    I got her to see a therapist and she wanted to involve the elders and I did not. She took her problems to the elders and they began to interfere in our life and caused more confusion. It seemed in their eyes, that I was the problem since I, the family head, ex elder was not regular in service .

    It became obvious to me that they were a hinderance and not a help. I became angry and told the elders what I thought of them and their attitude towards me.

    I had not commited a sin as sins are described in the bible in any way.

    I was a frightened man, seeing my wife disintegrate and seeking help and trying to keep the marriage and family intact. On top of this I had these arrogant, punitive minded men, coming between me and my wife.

    As a last resort I asked the elders for help. They sat there listened to me and said nothing.

    No offers of help, no comments, just stared at me and said nothing. I got the message and got up and left.

    On top of all this my family had just gone through finding that one of my daughters had been molested by her uncle elder and the wbts telling the elders to drop the case and leave him in his position as an elder.

    I was confused, frightened, watching my family, my wife, my marriage MY WORLD, disintegrating before my eyes.

    For the first and only time in my life, depression set in and I considered suicide.

    I needed help and found it in a "worldly psychiatrist" not in "Gods - only - organization".

    What did I receive from Gods only organization? I was not helped, I was punished in the cruelest of ways. I was df'd for fits of rage.

    For this, none of my 3 siblings or their children or my so called friends will speak to me. some of my children treat me coldly, some of them hate the wbts, another division. My wife and I are divorced and she is a physical and emotional disaster.

    I am remarried and share the feelings of freedom and an intense hatred for the wvbts. Not a good thing for ones physical and mental health.

    Outoftheorg

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    http://www.nextwish.co.uk/1975.jpg

    check out that link. It has a scanned copy of a Watchtower from 1968 predicting 1975 as the end of the world. They have had numerous false preditions, proving the are FALSE!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Just make whatever request, be firm but nice. She'll run to the elders and they'll tell her she must comply because she needs to be obedient to you.

    I'll see what I can find in terms of literature. I do remember reading it in our magazines. They're posted cases in which the wife has even had to vote because of the husband's request. I'll find you something. Give me some time to research.

    DY

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    Just make whatever request, be firm but nice.

    Can I order her to not get baptized?!

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Check_your_premises, you do have rights, even in the society, since you are the head of the household. I am a non-JW married to one. I found the "Secret to Family Happiness" book to be an excellent guide as to what to expect from my JW partner.

    Ask her to get you a copy.

  • Check_Your_Premises
    Check_Your_Premises
    I am a non-JW married to one. I found the "Secret to Family Happiness" book to be an excellent guide as to what to expect from my JW partner

    Nice. Thank you. That will be my next read. Any quick advice? Is there any hope? How many years am I going to lose here?

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    check_your_premesis: So sorry to hear of your wife's pending dunk in the dub pool. That is so awful.

    Re your request for info, I have a bunch of info and links on my site www.jwinfo.50megs.com Links to actual UN documents, etc.

    You might also discuss the ownership of Rand stock and the March 2005 watchtower which I heard is making a prediction that the "end" will come near 2034...haven't seen it myself though.

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    Get a friend (preferably female so your not a suspect) to call the elders a week before the babtism and make some sort of wild accusation... Get her to say something like "my husband works with someone from your church her name is _______ and she's getting really flirty and wild with my husband I think they might even be sleeping together! Is that how things are done at your church!" Then she can slam the phone down with no real specifics! They won't have time to investigate but they will have to tell her that she's got to wait while they "check it out" (trust me this happened to me and I had to wait!)

    Maybe this will serve another purpose too if they get all spanish inquisition on her maybe she'll see how much real "love" these pinko-nazis really have!

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