If you want to avoid being DF'd altogether, it might be worth your while looking at the "cease and desist" letters posted here:
I especially like Doc Bob's letter; chances are it will scare off the elders.
I would still prolong it, just to be a burr in their oversized asses! My comments are specific, but may also provide some thoughts for others. It's a case of playing just within the boundaries of their rules, without playing by their rules (if you know what I mean?).
Firstly, I would insist they keep Gina out of this. At every stage where you do have contact with them, make it plain that none of it was her fault. Maybe it was even against her express wishes. She'd have to play this line, too, when they inevitably contact her. She could possibly maintain this holding position for years, if she really wanted to. At least enough to help her family see that you haven't both sprouted extra heads, or something.
This would undermine their right to hold a JC for her, though they might send around a couple of Elders to have an investigative shepherding call ().
Also, if that child ever makes their own way out and eventually hooks up with Auntie Gina, she can say she was there for them even if the family put up barriers in the intervening years - there's a long term view to be had, if you want to look at it that way.
In your own case, you could ask for a postponement, but that would probably only buy you a week or two.
When they inevitably DF you (because you really should meet, if you want to avoid them cutting things short in your absence), you can wait up to a week before asking for an appeal (don't let this time expire).
They then have to get an appeal committee together, which potentially could take another couple of weeks, especially if the dates they first propose are inconvenient.
In the case of dates, it sometimes pays to be proactive and actually suggest dates to THEM, sometime about three weeks away. If you make it more than a month they will know you're taking the pissant.
Whatever you decide will take guts. Having that final "death-knell" is both a release and a personal blow, which continues with the shunning.
Don't be surprised if one or both of you go through the trauma of grief-like symptoms.
LT, of the "ex-Elder" class.
OK, here's something I'd ask them:
In the December 15, 1903 Watchtower, Brother Russell said that even though he did not agree with the date of December 25th as the actual date Jesus was born, he said "..we may properly enough join with all whose hearts are in the attitude of love and appreciation toward God and toward the Saviour."
So. Brother Russell already knew in 1903, that December 25th was based on a pagan holiday, yet he still saw no problem with Christians celebrating it. This completely destroys the GB's present hypothesis that Christmas was dropped like a hot potatoe once they "discovered" it was really from "pagan origin", because they had known this all along.
Now, according to the Organization's beliefs, Charles Russell was part of the 144,000 and he's in heaven right now ruling with Jesus. So if Jesus didn't cut him off from ruling in heaven, even though he celebrated the Lord's birthday on a pagan holiday, then why on earth is the Organization disfellowshipping people today for the same damn thing??!! This is one area where they cannot put it down to "new light", because as I already stated, Charles Russell already knew that the date of December 25th was a pagan holiday, yet he celebrated it anyway.
I am continuously disgusted by them and their shunning! WTF! They are not God.
I don't know that I would even go because of that. I'd tell them I prefer to answer directly to the man in heaven himself.
I'm so sorry to both of you.
Isn't it funny how you find out that you loved them WAY more than they loved you- a crushing reality! It only means they are losing their "hold" on you.
Zach (our 6 year old) said he "hated" grandma and grampa now. Gina and I explained that we can't hate them for it, it isn't really their fault. It is their love for us that is making them treat us this way. They think we HAVE to be JW's in order to not get killed by their god at some point in the very-near-but-god-only-knows-how-long future. They further believe that doing this is God's way of trying to show us the error of our ways. So while it hurts, we have to recognize that they still love us, and they are only doing what they're told.
I know there's another argument that says they could still choose to act another way. But I think as long as the Borgian influence is on them, they are only partially responsible for their conduct.
They'll still claim New Light over the Christmas thing. The new light would be the fact that a seemingly innocent practice that has pagan origins is displeasing to Jehovah. Upon determining that, they knew they had to shun Christmas and birthdays and everything else with pagan origins. (Except, of course, wedding veils, "best man" traditions, eye makeup, the calendar, ....)
Dave of the "Bookbag for sale. Very low mileage. Free or best offer." class
The committee chairman called me tonight and set me up for a meeting next Saturday (1/22) at the Kingdumb Hell.
How about saying, 'Fine, and I'll be bringing my attorney along with me.'
For the record, x-mas is still a disfellowshipping offense, at least here in central Illinois. Actually, we were D/A in December for celebrating it. Only four days before my aunt's memorial service at the kingdom hall. They wanted to make sure they got the word out so everyone would shun us.
Only four days before my aunt's memorial service at the kingdom hall.
Bastards. What else can you say? That's not heartless, that's mean-hearted.
Threaten them with a law suit if you ever find out that you have been DF'd. I think Funky may have posted some outlines for a letter you can uses. Play hard ball with them.
Have the letters theatening legal action sent register mail to a couple of the elders. Send a copy to brookln as well. I'm sure they will be told to drop it by brooklyn,, as you are not a very big fish to them,, and not worth the hastle to brooklyn.
Once anyone meets with a JC, forget about it, you're as good as gone. Just don't, refuse to.