OK, off the hook.
Gina thought it over and realized she really didn't want to go taste a little family only to have it yanked away forever a few weeks later. She called and chatted with her family and they confirmed that once we're DF'd, we wouldn't be welcome anymore. No holding the baby, nothing. So even if we bought enough time to see the baby, that would be the end of that. And as one prudent poster noted, one little hold won't be enough. Better none, than a little.
So I'll just call the elder I wanted to meet with, get any information out that I can, and tell him that I won't be there Saturday. It definitely isn't in the cards for us to go grovel at their feet and hope they don't DF us. Not only does it make me sick to think of doing it, but it wouldn't work. We'd just be back in this same spot next Christmas, or when our kids go trick-or-treating. There's no escape, and I don't care to try.
I was only playing along for Gina's sake, and she says she doesn't care.
Thanks again for the help.