OK, I HAVE to meet with the judicial committee. Advice?

by AlmostAtheist 66 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist

    OK, off the hook.

    Gina thought it over and realized she really didn't want to go taste a little family only to have it yanked away forever a few weeks later. She called and chatted with her family and they confirmed that once we're DF'd, we wouldn't be welcome anymore. No holding the baby, nothing. So even if we bought enough time to see the baby, that would be the end of that. And as one prudent poster noted, one little hold won't be enough. Better none, than a little.

    So I'll just call the elder I wanted to meet with, get any information out that I can, and tell him that I won't be there Saturday. It definitely isn't in the cards for us to go grovel at their feet and hope they don't DF us. Not only does it make me sick to think of doing it, but it wouldn't work. We'd just be back in this same spot next Christmas, or when our kids go trick-or-treating. There's no escape, and I don't care to try.

    Screw 'em.

    I was only playing along for Gina's sake, and she says she doesn't care.

    Thanks again for the help.


  • MungoBaobab

    EDIT: Well in that case, never mind! I hope your in-laws come around and decide to live in this life instead of gearing up for the fantasy paradise and ignoring their real family. It's a sad world, Almost.

  • Odrade

    Okay, but expect to have some emotional fallout from this... the best thing you (well, Gina) could do right now is to have a couple of counseling sessions. It's going to be really hard for her to deal with knowing that her family rejects all normal family love and behavior for a stupid religion. It is not normal for parents and siblings to turn their backs on family members just because men in suits instruct them to do that.

    We all know that, and you know that, she knows it too. But hearing the words and seeing the actions will hit you both in a place where your intellect can't reach, and it can be horribly painful. Make sure you both get some support for that in the real world, not just this discussion board.

    take care.


  • gumby
    DFING FOR XMAS WTF? The july 15th awake said it was up to you and depended on local custom. it may have been a dfing offence in the early 1990's but as far as a know many jws celebrated the holidays this year

    Total bullshit as usual....he should be arested.

    AlmostAtheist...your another example of how horrid this cult is. They rip families apart because of a tree.

    Someday these bastards will eat crow and eventually die. Perhaps their will not be another as them that ever raise their ugly head.


  • bebu

    That is very hard news. Odrade gave some very good advice here... The shunning of relatives like this is so very unnatural.

    (((AA and FF)))


  • Swan

    Odrade is right.

    We all know that, and you know that, she knows it too. But hearing the words and seeing the actions will hit you both in a place where your intellect can't reach, and it can be horribly painful.

    A good counselor will help you cope with the grief you're going to feel. However, it will definitely help your self esteem and pride that you stood up and said, "No more of your silly games." It will also help forestall the craziness that can sometimes set in when these elders and your family start operating in crisis mode.

    All my best wishes to you and your family.


  • upside/down

    And the Dubs think terrorists are bad?

    Doesn't the Bible condemn extortion?

    Just a thought.... Was it worth it? Many Dubs "hide" things so as to enjoy both sides of the fence. But like you mentioned it was innevitable. Isn't it funny how you find out that you loved them WAY more than they loved you- a crushing reality! It only means they are losing their "hold" on you.

    This is probably the only time I would agree with Gumby- BASTARDS!

    Now go hug and kiss your wife!


  • willyloman

    I don't understand why, since you appear to have made up your mind that you're on the way out, that you would even bother to meet with these guys. Just don't give them any control over your life; they only have power over you if you give it to them. The one thing elders absolutely HATE is when you treat them as irrelevant. Set yourself free.

  • PinTail

    Dave, come on now just tell them to pound sand and be on your marry way.

  • Max Divergent
    Max Divergent

    Get real, it's her choice to visit the baby or not, there's nothing to stop her visiting DF fleshly family ... it's 'nessasary family business' for gwards sake...

    Trying to go thru all that to meet her death bed wish (your death bed) is unrealistic and silly... you're doing your thing, she can choose what she wants to do too...

    Could you just talk to the elders and try and make a deal? They make the baby bit easier for you, you save them the hassle of bogus appeals...

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