I Need Some Serious Help Please !!!!!!

by Peterpanippleskin 101 Replies latest jw friends

  • Peterpanippleskin
    Peterpanippleskin

    THANK YOU ALL

    I must go to bed. I am sorry that I was so terrible earlier.

    I am grateful for your suggestions and I now know what to read and what not to read.

    Sincerely, Hal Helmboldt

  • Peterpanippleskin
    Peterpanippleskin

    WOW NewLight2 !!

    ........................ a book like that has to be what I need. Geeez. THANKS.

    It's ok now.......... that I was beaten on when I came here. I forgive them. All of them. I am happy that I am believed because that is important to me. My situation (my brother) is scary for me. I am desperate. Thank You so much for your effort and posting those book titles. I will go buy them and read them. I must. I absolutely must read them. I think my brother and his daughter are going to die if I do not get them away from there and help him to get away from the JW religion he is in. Thank You.

    Hal

  • Brummie
    Brummie

    Now Peterpanipple, go sleep! Start tomorrow all refreshed, it will do you the world of good! I'm working night shift so cant sleep otherwise I would have snored all the way through this. Go sleep, come back and enjoy the board tomorrow

    Brummie

  • NewLight2
    NewLight2

    Hal,

    You may have to special order those books, but maybe if you go to a "christian' bookstore they may have them in stock in their "cults" section.

    I have a friend that has a PHD in physics and has worked on many NASA projects. Strangely for all his high IQ level, he lacks 'common sense' sometimes. Must be a very common trait amoung those that are smarter than the average Joe. Take heart, we can't all be the same. It would be a very dull world if we were.

    That being said, there is another poster who has the screen-name of 'new light', but they are not me. I just wanted to avoid another confusing issue for you.

    NewLight2

  • Golf
    Golf

    After viewing this post again, I do say, it's time to apply 'common sense.' I have a large family (bros & Sis's) not to mention my own children. I make it a practice to stay out of their personal lives. I've been involved in some serious family disputes and it wasn't worth it, let them handle the problem. If people can't use their common sense to call the authorities, then, they must suffer the consequence, this is not being rude, it's the truth. Like anything else, follow procedures.

    Peterpan, you've given your bro. suggestions and nothing has changed, so, why continue? Why are YOU getting so involved when there's nothing else you can do about it? Go the police and they'll tell what they can do, NOTHING, until someone makes a complaint.

    The best you can do is to wish your brother the best, encourage him, and live your life, situations like this are common to me. There's no question that both these people need help.


    Guest77

  • Mystery
    Mystery

    Hal -

    Concerning your niece - could you or would you let her stay with you for a while. At 18, she is an "adult" and can leave home. Can you give her a place to stay while she arranges her thoughts of where she goes from here?

    You may or may not be able to get your brother "out". Your niece may need you to reach out your hand to her, why don't you ask her?

    Deborah

  • PinTail
    PinTail

    Wow man, as I read your post I had to call my new wife in the bed room just to show her your stuff. I was married to a inner child freek too, she almost drove me insane with her schizoid behavior; call it bypolar or what, ever but it can drive a good man to drink and chase women of disrepute.

    Tell your brother if he is worried about being condemned to destruction by gods hand (basicly hell") well frankly speaking he is already in hell now. Incourage your brother to get away from that psycho, she is you know a psycho; a normal women who is able to love would not behave in that manor.

    As far as Jehovah's Witness's are concerned get out of that cult right now, my kids were hurt from seeing me treated like shit from their mom. I hurt knowing that I subjected them to that, they are hurting and pained from the memories of it. So make tracts fast before you go crazy and start thinking that you really do deserve to be treated like that.

  • Mary
    Mary
    Can ANYONE explain to me WHAT alternative there is when a man is married to a bitch like that, who SHOULD BE in jail, or possibly even PRISON for what she does... and HAS DONE????

    I know exactly how you feel. My brother lived with a psychotic, abusive woman like you described for years. While it's usually the men who abuse the wives, the reverse is certainly true as well and for the same reasons. Your brother sounds very mild by nature and unwilling to stand up for himself as was the case with my brother. However, I'm very glad to see that your brother is going to divorce this bitch. If I were you, I'd do a call to Children's Services and report the wife for child abuse.

    According to the JW beliefs, he can only get a "scriptural" divorce if she screws around on him. From what you've described, it doesn't sound like she's be attracting too many men, so that's out. He can certainly get a legal divorce on the grounds of physical and emotional abuse withoout a problem. He shouldn't get disfellowshipped for getting a divorce, but only if he goes to get re-married to someone else. The Watchtower Society couldn't give a rat's ass if someone is happy in a marriage, or if they're abused to the 10th degree; their view is: don't rock the boat, stay in a marriage even if you're being abused, because it looks good for us as a religion.

    If your brother wants to remain a Witness he has a couple of choices: he can remain single the rest of his life, or, if he divorces this witch and she has sex with someone else, SHE'LL get disfellowshipped first, leaving him as the innocent party. He would then be free to re-marry someone else. Or, if he divorces his present wife, marries someone else, they'll get disfellowshipped, but if they continue to go to all the meetings, they could be re-instated in a couple of years.

    Of course, the ideal would be if your brother left the religion..........

    There is no easy solution to a problem like this, especially when your poor brother is having guilt piled upon him from both his witch of a wife and the religion....please keep us posted.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    In many ways, your brother is in a prison of his own making. He knows this, but perhaps the energy required to remove the prison chains scares him. Also, scarily, people who live in an abusive relationship for many years may be at a loss when all the decision-making is left up to them. Your brother needs practice making independent decisions without his wife. Like setting up a separate bank account without her knowing. Shopping for an apartment where he can live without her when he separates. Perhaps he and the daughter can escape together. He can convince the wife and the daughter it is time for her to move out on her own, helps the daughter move, and in a few months, he can join her. Things like that. With a bit of ingenuity and time, he can be free of his wife AND be an approved JW. Here is how he does it.

    1. Divorce the wife.
    2. Start attending a new congregation, stating that it is "too uncomfortable" to be in the same room with the ex. Be open and honest about the past. Take the lumps.
    3. If the elders DF his brother, he can work on reinstatement right away. He can sit in the back, shunned by everybody, and start a book study towards reinstatement. In six months, BINGO! back in. Surely a man who has endured this much abuse can handle six months of shunning.

    This has the added benefit of leaving the abusive, cursing wife in the old congregation for the elders to take care of. That is probably the biggest motive in those stinky elders insisting she remain with your brother. THEY didn't want to have to deal with her.

  • Incense_and_Peppermints
    Incense_and_Peppermints
    His wife attacked their only daughter when their daughter was 16 years-old, for not picking up after herself. His wife slammed their daughter down on top of a glass coffee table, which shattered as their daughter crashed though it, and she lay on her back on the floor with her body through the coffee table frame ontop of thousands of pieces of shards of glass. While bleeding, his wife began beating their daughter and swearing at her until SHE decided she was through beating her.

    His wife throws empty pop bottles at my brother, which just recently, one hit him in the face and broke his nose and smashed his glasses. His wife throws KNIFES at him! She also beats on him whenever she sees fit to do so!

    This woman will NEVER change. My brother has NEVER beaten her, nor does he use any vulgarity against her. He is going to FINALLY divorce this bitch once and for all... but he remains a JW, for his own reasons, yet he believes that it is an act of condemnation for him to divorce under the JW belief.

    um... it seems to me that he has much more serious things to worry about that whether or not he will be "condemned"... he needs to protect that child from that maniac! she belongs in prison for what she is doing to that young girl, and him. he could have her arrested with one simple phone call. common sense should tell him that a loving god wouldn't condone this abusive behavior while condemning him for removing himself and his child away from it

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