William F. Rutherford. is and was always an asshole. He always reffered to me as the flashy dresser, he never liked me nor I him.
Hey I sent you a pm. But when you mentioned bro Rutherford it pretty much answered my question!
M'
We walked out of my mom's memorial service
by tyydyy 120 Replies latest jw friends
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tyydyy
Well, my conversation with Rutherford was frustrating to say the least. I asked him who told him that I wasn't invited. He said that he never knew the name of the brother that he talked to. I asked him how he knew it was a brother if he didn't get a name. Obviously lying to keep from having to give me the name of the one was ultimately responsible. I later found out from my dad.
He said that they were just following Jehovah's direction. I asked how he knew what Jehovah's direction is. That's when I pointed out that the organization has changed thoughout the years. He denied that they have changed. He said that they were being refined then proceeded to tell me, as if I hadn't heard over a thousand times the illustration of how gold is refined to remove the impurities. I told him that god is not in the gold business. We're talking about people and an organization of people which have slightly different physical and mental properties. But I said "I'll use your own illustration to make my point. If you take a lump of gold and measure it's weight and appearance before it's refined and the impurities are removed and then measure it after you'll see that it has changed. So refining means changing. It's just another word for the same thing.
I asked if it were his wife that had died and his son was df'd, would he tell his son that he wasn't invited to be with the family after the memorial service and he said the he said that he probably would. I told him that I've been to several funerals in the local congregation over the years and they've never called it a dinner. If anything they would announce that the family would be returning home and that those who want to be with them could come for a while. Those who came usually brought some sort of food but it wasn't a dinner. It was just an opportunity for the family to be consoled by the friends. Those who were uncomfortable being there just didn't come. No hard feelings.
He saying: "I don't know where you've been getting your information". I simply said that I used my brain. I don't need someone to tell me what to think or do. I have some common sense.
That was one of the most frustrating conversations I've ever had. He just refused to accept the truth even when it was slapping him in the face. He must have quoted from 3 different dictionaries to find the definitions he needed. For instance, I told him that I was tired of his condecending tone of voice and he condecending questions. He thanked me for calling him condecending since the Oxford Colligiate Dictionary says that condecending means to bend down and help someone. Ha. I asked him if he'd ever heard that word used in that context. It certainly wasn't meant to be a complement.
I talked to my dad today and I asked him for his feelings about what happened. He said that the congregation just wanted to have a dinner for him and that since it was a dinner then they couldn't eat with df'd and da'd people according to the scriptures. I reminded him that I haven't been disfellowshiped. He said that they felt that I had disassociated myself. I told him that they never made an announcement and they didn't call me. My phone number is no secret. They've never brought any accusation to me. Now it seems that they are telling everyone that I disassociated myself. I asked him why in this particular instance they decided not to wait on Jehovah's organization's direction. They made up their own rules. He said that he hasn't been to the meetings in the last 3 months due to mom's illness and that he may have missed the announcement. As if he wouldn't have heard about it in less than one hour.
At one point, when I accused him of not caring for his own son, he reminded me that he has a picture of a christmas tree in my house. He asked if I wanted him to take it to the elders. I asked if he was threatening me. As if it wasn't plain as day. He said that he just wanted to know what I wanted. I said that I just wanted to be treated like a son........
TimB
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Aude_Sapere
What an arrogant prick.
I am absolutely appalled.
I agree with a previous comment: Better to err on the side of love, compassion and decency.
You were treated indecently. and inhumanely.
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Aude_Sapere
I think the people that invited your father to dinner over stepped their bounds.
In light of your respective non-/involvement with the organization, I can understand that diehard witnesses would have felt compromised to participate and associate. That would be their problem. Your mothers memorial and funeral is a family matter. Dinner that night should have been set aside for family first. Others as invited (according to each others sensibilities). But that evening should have been dedicated to the family members. Regardless of their organizational status.
Dinner at the friend's home would have been much more appropriate a few days later.
(This is making me quite angry.)
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ohiocowboy
Sorry I didn't see this thread sooner. I offer my sincere condolences to you and your family, and am so sorry that you were treated so badly by those mercilessly callous people in the hall. They should be ashamed of themselves, but people such as that have no consciences. It is very nice that you had your own heartfelt memorial service for your Mother. You, Xena and your brother and sister are the ones that showed real, sincere love by doing that. Unfortunately, those in the hall do not know the meaning of love, and ultimately, that will be their downfall.
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LittleToe
Woohoo, go Tim!!!
Boy did you dish it out!I'm sorry you're facing the evident reality that your dad is so totally mind-f*ck*d!!!
It makes it all the more upsetting, especially when you see the glazed look come over their faces...
You can but hope that something will eventually sink in, although he's possibly a little overwhelmed right now. -
new light
First, my condolences on your family's loss.
Can you imagine any other group of people being so loveless and cold as to bar a son from his mother's funeral reception? No normal person would ever even think of doing something like this, yet here are 6,000,000 people who would all hold hands to keep someone out of their circle. The JWs commit unthinkable acts of emotional cruelty every day worldwide, and they are proud of it.
I'm sorry that a greivous day like this one was made even worse for you.
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Xena
Can you imagine any other group of people being so loveless and cold as to bar a son from his mother's funeral reception?
And the only reason given for doing it is that he doesn't attend their meetings. It's unimaginable to someone who has never been a dub.
Well if nothing else this has served to give a fine witness AGAINST the dubs. I have made sure everyone I come in contact with has been told about what happened and will NEVER have anything to do with them. Let them explain that to their God.
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Billygoat
As I read these updates, I get more and more furious!!! How dare they!!! Xena, Tyydyy, I am SO SORRY. Can you believe this is where we came from? It's an insult to God that they call themselvs His people. Bastards! I just cannot do anything other than sit here and shake in my fury. The comfort I take in this: someday they WILL answer for this. They will answer to God for their actions - karma, whatever you want to call it. What goes around comes around. And it will be much more than any revenge we would exact on them ourselves.
I'm so sorry.
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Sadie5
The JWs are coming off as extremely selfish. It is traditional to cater to the needs of the immediate family during the time of death. If certain one felt that they could not eat with the all of the family, then they should not eat with the family at that gathering. They should make the sacrifice for their beliefs, not force their beliefs on others and cater to themselves. This is very far from being a Christian.
Sadie