I'm worried about our 8-year-old -- anybody got any ideas?

by cruzanheart 61 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  cruzanheart

  Our 8-year-old son, Jackson, is exhibiting the following symptoms:

  * disorganized (unfortunately, this has kind of been since birth but more pronounced now)

  * hard to concentrate

  * mind wanders

  * can't multi-task (send him upstairs to brush his teeth and put on his shoes and socks and you may find him standing stock-still five or ten minutes later -- "oh, I forgot!")

  * easily frustrated -- will burst into tears and/or get angry if you try to push him to finish something more quickly

  * having trouble finishing work in school because he's always slower than the other children (he says his brain kind of freezes up and he can't think of what to write)

  * likes to lose himself in Game Boy, computer games, and TV (watched by himself)

  * stomach aches

  * frequent illnesses (like weird viruses that seemingly come out of nowhere)

  It seems to be a lot worse this year -- we think his 1st & 2nd grade teachers really coddled him and this one is a little more no-nonsense.

  HOWEVER, he consistently gets straight A's in school! He is very smart. He plays great with the kids and his friends. He's great in math and does fine in reading (hates to write, though).

  He says he gets "frustrated" at school and he has a hard time concentrating because he's tired all the time. He says he doesn't sleep well.

  Poor kid, he takes so many medicines for his asthma that I can well believe he IS tired all the time. We don't know whether to take the hard line with him to try to force him to march through the day with more organization -- I was thinking of making a list of things for him to do so he has something to refer to -- or if there's something else going on of which we are not aware.

  Any suggestions? Does this sound familiar to anyone? Thanks for your input!

  Hugs,
  Nina
• 

  hillbilly

  after you rule out any organic reason for his symptoms give him some space to "cowboy up"... all kids go through something like this about his age.

  ----------Hill
• 

  Valis

  Nina, with the exceptions of the stomach ache and any illness related probs he's having he sounds like a fairly average 8 year old. They are loopy, don't like listening, are pressing their boundaries and maybe even still need a bit of growing up to do when it comes school time. The last one is his deal entirely. It won't get any easier than the 3rd grade in any case. The other ones well maybe there's an adjustment in his attitude you can affect. Whether that takes removing his faves like the Gameboy, while his sister sits blythely playing her's, or making him watch reruns of the Lawrence Welk Show on PBS, *LOL*, but you see what I'm getting at. I've recently had to have a talk w/a certain 7 year old in regards school behavior so I can feel some of your concern. One is hoping the dire threat of no cheer leading this year will do the trick, but we'll see. Spoiling them is easy, its the unspoiling that's so damnable hard..*LOL* Hope all is well and Big T is behaving himself..

  Sincerely,

  District Overbeer
• 

  hubert

  (Keep in mind, I'm no expert).

  Sounds like he is a bit nervous, and is trying to please everyone, especially his teachers.

  My grandaughter had a problem in second grade with her new teacher, last year. I'm not blaming the teacher. She was tougher on her, and she wasn't used to being treated that way. So, she would panic, if she forgot to bring her homework home, etc.

  Maybe your boys medication for his asthma is creating some side effects, concerning his attention span.

  Hope this helps. It may not be any of these things, but it's something to look check for.

  Regards... Hubert
• 

  Cowboy

  Nina, except for the illnesses and asthma, you've described my 11 year old son to a t. Including the allergies, though.

  Clay has A.D.D. Though we put it off for a long time, finally we tried ritalin (only during school), and it did help some. This year though, he wanted to try without it, and he's making it work so far. It does get frustrating sometimes, stacks of homework every night, forgetting his homework or his lunch or something everytime you turn around... But I can say that it seems to slowly get better with time.

  I too, would like to hear from anyone else that has dealt with it. Anything we could do to help him would be great.

  David
• 

  pettygrudger

  Nina - I would consult with the staff at your ISD & request an "evaluation" - as it sounds as if your son may have a couple of different things.

  They must by law give your child an appropriate evaluation, and then make recommendations for any special needs he may have to help him in his studies at school, and also help you on the path to helping him at home.

  I would also look into the book "Special Diets for Special Kids". It sounds to me this could be a classic case of how dietary intervention may help w/behavioral/emotional issues.
• 

  SixofNine

  Sounds like ADD. Ideas? Conciously adjust, that's all. It can't be disciplined out of him, but you can play to his strengths and learn to work around the weaknesses. I'm sure you'd hate to put him on any more medication, but if it becomes a real problem (and if you adjust your expectations and play to his strengths, that's much less likely), medication can be a real solution.

  As he get's older, it will probably get worse in terms of getting ordinary types of schoolwork done.

  I have huge, life-altering problems with multi-tasking, organization, brain freeze-ups, concentration and memory even now. Gawd knows I wish I'd had my problem identified early on.

  And if you can afford it, the Shelton Academy
• 

  neverthere

  * disorganized (unfortunately, this has kind of been since birth but more pronounced now)

  * hard to concentrate

  * mind wanders

  * can't multi-task (send him upstairs to brush his teeth and put on his shoes and socks and you may find him standing stock-still five or ten minutes later -- "oh, I forgot!")

  * easily frustrated -- will burst into tears and/or get angry if you try to push him to finish something more quickly

  * having trouble finishing work in school because he's always slower than the other children (he says his brain kind of freezes up and he can't think of what to write)

  * likes to lose himself in Game Boy, computer games, and TV (watched by himself)

  * stomach aches

  * frequent illnesses (like weird viruses that seemingly come out of nowhere)

  Hi Nina, I copied some of what you said about your 8 yr old and I have to say I thought perhaps he has a PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) under this catagory falls autism, Asperger's syndrome (I have 2 kids with that), Tourrettes and a myriad of other things. I do agree you shoud get a consult with a doctor, educate yourself with some of the suggestions that are being given. I know that my oldest son who has AS also has the trouble finishing work (he is slower, his reason is it is too easy for him and he gets bored, then distracted etc.) The frustration comes as a result of his not being able to read body language etc.

  Good luck!

  Diana
• 

  bem

  Dear Nina,

  Several things come to mind, But mainly I'm thinking about the sleep pattern. I have asthma so I can relate. Also I have sleep apnea and it keeps me from sleeping soundly. It's the condition where we stop breathing and it can be found in all ages. So what happens with me is I stop breathing it wakes me but not enough to wake me up fully then I go back to sleep... when that happens several times in a night then sleep 'value' is worthless... So I can be very tired after a bad night of that there are things to do to allieviate the problem. You take a sleep test to see if you have it. For instance I sleep with a fan on at night and cool temps in the bedroom. elevated head of the bed.

  Has he been tested for Attention Deficiet Disorder?

  I work with kids and my own son has ADD just not the hyperactive part. I have seen the effects of meds. so don't let people turn you against the medication side of treatment. I know everyone is passionate about the med question but they don't all work the same and folks don't know what your going through. Also Depression runs in families . that is a factor in my family with my son. He exhibited the symptoms early on of depression. A lot of things factor in on the decision of ADD. I have seen many families put to ease when it was diagnosed and treated... For us and this is very irreverent I know... But I told our family Doctor we were either gonna have to find something for our boy that would help him or we were all gonna have to take something to live with him!.... I mean nothing hatefull by that remark it's just the way I delt with the issue... I don't think there is pill for every problem but OTOH if there is something that helps then bring it on and lets see if it helps!! If I have a headache I take a pill!

  Believe me I understand and I really would like to offer advice that helps.

  Dorothy
• 

  xenawarrior

  Nina, with the exceptions of the stomach ache and any illness related probs he's having he sounds like a fairly average 8 year old. They are loopy, don't like listening, are pressing their boundaries and maybe even still need a bit of growing up to do when it comes school time

  omg, you have Valis living at your house?