I'm worried about our 8-year-old -- anybody got any ideas?

by cruzanheart 61 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu

    This sounds very familiar. It sounds like the way I was. I had lots of stomach problems, I couldn't (and still can't) multitask worth shit, and I used to easily cry when I was under pressure. My grades were always awesome.

    I think you're raising a clone of me. BTW, I also have athsma.

  • pettygrudger
    We tried that once before (no milk, no dairy, no gluten) and I saw no change in physical symptoms at all.

    How long did you do the elimination diet with him? Many times, it MUST be done consistently (no *accidents*) for a few weeks to begin to see any positive effects. Also, at the same time, the gut MUST be healed from the overgrowth of bad bacterias so that future *accidents* don't undo weeks of work.

    And, has your son ever had any heavy metal testing done? It seems that American children in particular are showing HUGE increases in the amounts of heavy metals within their systems. For some children, they aren't able to process the vast amounts as others, and the metals end up depositing into the brain, wherein they block neuro-transmittors and the child can begin exhibiting difficult behaviors.

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    He doesn't like being around people too much, but has no trouble making friends he is comfortable with

    True. Very shy, especially in crowds, but if you share an interest with him he explodes in personality and becomes quite extroverted.

    He often puts on a brave face for you and Chris, which leads to nervousness and the stomach pains, as anxiety can manifest in some very physical ways

    I'm pretty sure he does. He's eager to please, and I've never spanked him (when he was little all I had to do was clear my throat and give him The Look and he would obey). I do see him as being insecure, and I honestly cannot fathom why as we are not the type of people who are gruff or push him (quite the opposite actually). I do see him as being anxious and I do think that is the cause for some of the stomach aches. Other times it's constipation or sinus drainage.

    I would have the "virus-like" illnesses checked out by a doctor, but I suspect that they won't find anything. He is surpressing so much that it is taking a toll on his physical well being.

    We have, several times this year and we've gotten lectured about not bringing him in for every little ache and pain (). I hate that pediatrician, the most useless "doctor" I've ever seen.

    A few guesses here, tell me if I'm right. He uses computers like a professional, learns very quickly, is very empathetic, and sensitive, sometimes overly-so

    Computers? Oh yeah. At 3, he figured out how to install computer games by himself. He does pick up new things quickly, particularly math. Yes he is very emphathetic, very kind, very sweet, affable, friendly and laughs easily.

    You could probably move him up a grade level and he'd still be able to keep up. He has attention problems in class because it is all too easy and bores him.

    I'm not sure if he could handle skipping a grade, although he is at 4th/5th grade level in math. He's average in reading, mainly because he's not interested. I've noticed he has trouble with reading comprehension, which I think is mainly due to lack of focus. Give him a dinosaur book and he devours it (at 2 months he could explain in detail the differences between a pachycephalasourus and a t-rex). His kindergarten teacher had him tested for ADD and he came up negative (I didn't mind it, but I was somewhat annoyed that I was only told about the testing months later).

    I don't know if school is too easy for him, I do know it bores him. I don't think he's a child prodigy or genius or anything like that.

    All in all, the kid you have described sounds exactly like me at that age, including the illnesses etc. The rest is just guess work. If you agree with any of my "guesses" let me know, and I may be able to suggest a few things

    Yes I would be interested, if you don't mind sharing. Thanks.


  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    How long did you do the elimination diet with him? Many times, it MUST be done consistently (no *accidents*) for a few weeks to begin to see any positive effects.

    Gosh, that was a couple of years ago. I don't remember exactly but it was a couple of months. Nina's better about that than I am (in fact she was the one who reminded me that Jackson had been tested for ADD by his school). At the time we were trying to bolster his allergies and back then he wasn't exhibiting any personality issues that he is now.

    And, has your son ever had any heavy metal testing done?

    He doesn't like music with a lot of driving electric guitars, but I didn't know there was a test for it.

    Sorry, couldn't resist. No he hasn't. I've never heard of this test before. What type of metal are you talking about? Where would it come from?

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    BTW, I also have athsma.

    So does he, but it's kicked off by allergies.

    Interesting, that the people who say he reminds them of themselves are all male. Is this just part of being a boy? I was never like this, so I'm having trouble relating.

    Nos, if you don't mind me asking, did you just grow out of it? How did you deal with it growing up? If you could have done something different, or had been treated differently, what would it have been?

  • pettygrudger

    Chris - here's an article that sums it up better than I could:


  • Special K
    Special K

    Hi Nina, you said:

    HOWEVER, he consistently gets straight A's in school! He is very smart. He plays great with the kids and his friends. He's great in math and does fine in reading (hates to write, though).

    Along with all the other suggestions you receive.

    I don't find it unusual that a lot of boys hate to write. All my boys hated to write. Sitting down and colouring in a colouring book was something none of them enjoyed even as preschoolers. Then there seemed to be their fear of spelling a word wrong.. so they just froze up when it came to writing so they lost any flow or creativity in their stories. I'd get them to write a story for me, and spell words however they wanted.. just write. Find out how long a story the teachers are looking for at this level. I think, if I go by my kids.. maybe one page. If that seems overwhelming, possibly 3 sentences and build up to a page over this year. All just suggestions, Nina.

    Most girls seem to be way ahead in the writing thing. I have heard it said that the curriculum for this is more biased to what little girls do anyways.. but I don't know if that is true.

    He's probably started his times tables so there is a good site for that called www.aaamath.com where they can do appropriate grade level quizes. My 9 year old finds it FUN when he does his times table at this site. You will find most boys into game machines more than young girls.

    Another thing you might look at is a possible "short term memory problem". It's when you go to the phone book look up a number then walk over to the phone and you can't remember the number. This would go along with forgetting what he went upstairs to do, get a pair of socks, brush your teeth and bring down that book off his bed. If you said it to him one by one he might be fine but asking someone with short term memory problem to do all three... and they just can't do it.

    If that is the problem there are things you can do to stimulate the short term memory or you can implement compensations for it such as: Lists, easel in main living area with reminders, etc.. specific spots for bookbags, lunch boxes, boots.. so that they are always kept in the same spot.

    The tiredness? Is he really tired or is that something he usually says when he doesn't want to do something and it's a catch all phrase.. Do you think he's getting into his rem sleep? One of our kids wasn't and boy did he make a difference when we got that corrected.. all his energy came back.

    Is the pets of the family sleeping on their beds at night? They can be disturbing and interruping sleep..Our cat is horrible for waking me up 2 or 3 times a night and purring and wanted to be petted. We have to shut him out of the room...big baby.

    Hope you can find out the answers, Nina.

    Special K

  • target

    Sounds a lot like my 6 year old grandson. He cannot tolerate a lot of noise. He will shut down if the noise level is too high. He has the same issues in school but is an A student. He is great on the computer, but cannot be told to do more than one thing at a time because he will forget one of the things for sure. He is very sensitive. He was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, a high functioning form of autism. Now that the teachers and guidance counselor are working with him, he is doing great.

    The heavy metal issue is important. especially the mercury used for preservative in vaccinations. Babies cannot process that crap out of their systems. My grandson will be going through a detox program soon for that, called Detoxamin. Asperger's and autism are increasing at an alarming rate. Interestingly, they use that same preservative in flu vaccines and it has been shown to increase alzheimers in the elderly.

    Many of these children go undiagnosed and sometimes it is treated as a disipline issue and it does a number on their self esteem. Your best bet is to seek a proper diagnosis for your child. Listen to your gut, if what the doctor is saying does not feel right, look further. Don't let anyone talk you into anything.


  • freedom96

    My 8 year old step- son suffers from ADHD, which sounds just like your son.

    We fought the idea from the beginning. So many people having differing ideas, and strongly believe each way. We waited several years, to see if he would grow out of it. He didn't. It got to the point that the teachers were insisting that something drastic be done, or else he would be held back, which would be a shame, as he certainly is intelligent.

    We took him to several specialists, and they all agreed that is what he had. Some will try to say that it is a lack of dicipline, but that is not the case. We read some books, and oh my, it seemed as it was written about our son. The descriptions were so right on, it was almost scary.

    Then we realized, it is not a "bad" thing. If there is a medication out there that will help, why not use it? Some consider it to be a defeat, however, it should be realized as a blessing, and thankfully we live in a day and age that these challenges can be helped.

    Our son does much better now, on the days he takes the medication. We are in touch with his teacher on a regular basis, and she says the days he does take it, he does much, much better. Day and night difference.

    His father still fights it to this day. He is constantly finding new theories, etc, but none of them match up.

    I hope it works out for your family.

    If you want more details, or talk to my wife about it, feel free to leave a private message.

  • Sassy

    well you have a lot of advice here and mine can sound similar to many of them...

    unfortunately symptoms such as your son has, can be for many many reasons, whether a chemical disorder such as ADD/ADHD or PDD, or others.. or just simply his reaction because of his environment..

    I do want to point out as others have (no offense to the orginal posts.. I forget who said it.. but she was a teacher), that ADD kids can not focus more than 5 minutes on video games. Not true.. Video games have so much action constantly changing that it is a challenge to them and feeds right into their needs for constant movement and attention. My son who is now 20 was diagnosed with ADD before it was the rage and pat answer to every kid with behavior problems.. in fact I knew something was wrong with him, before they had come up with the name ADD.. I actually thought about writing a book on the disorder 18 years ago, because I wanted to help other parents struggling with children with behavior problems that no one understood. Thankfully times have changed and we have been educated. Unfortunately with that education, has some labels easily placed on children who might other wise have other needs as well and not be ADD at all.

    I know Big Tex commented that Nina said he was already tested for ADD at the school. I wouldn't trust a school to be a thorough enough to have results I would be comfortable with. There are experts who are trained for that. If there is a question this might be his problem, go through your medical clinic and have him tested. I did see trigger things in her description that sounded like ADD symptoms, but I didnt' hear the H/ as in hyper as part of her description... but there are varying degrees of ADD too.. so I wouldn't just rule it out. I know very little about PDD, but it wouldn't hurt to have him tested for that too at the same time.

    It is so hard when our kids are intelligent and struggle in school... I think one of the biggest things we can do for our children is have a very structured routine.. (when they have behavior problems.. )

    I wish you all luck with him.. I promise, over time even without answers, it will get easier

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