In driver's training they teach you to separate hazards. If you've got a kid on a bike in front of you and there's a car coming in the opposite lane, slow down. Let the other car pass, then go around the bike. Don't try to negotiate both hazards at once.
I'm with Scully on this one. If you both go to the elders, "confess", play by the rules, you will probably only be reproved. Get this immediate "hazard" out of the way. Then you need to seriously decide if you want to continue to be a JW or not. You've been a member of this forum for almost a year, clearly you have some doubts. Despite what we were all taught, doubts aren't bad. They lead to study and research, and better understanding. You can't resolve a doubt by pushing it aside and calling it "bad thinking".
But it doesn't sound like this is the right time for that sort of emotional/logical upset. Get the disciplinary thing straightened out first. Then begin your own personal systematic investigation of your beliefs.
The encouragement everyone seems to be pushing here is do whatever you do because you chose to do it, not because circumstances just sort of washed you in that direction. That seems like the best course.
Hope it helps. I've been right smack dab where you are. If you need to talk further, feel free to PM me.