How much harm have you caused your congregation?

by Joker10 76 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BrendaCloutier

  When I left, the ones I 'harmed' were the ones who actually had some (conditional) love for me: My mother-in-law, although she saw and understood the problems in that congregation; my parents, who adopted me and raised me JW, and had to hear all of the "poor so-n-so's daughter is no longer associated". I suppose my sister and brother, and their families, but my brother never did like me as I usurped his baby-of-the-family possition, and went out of his way to ignore my existence even when I was in good standing.

  I like this thread. I like the idea of owness and looking at ourselves and our actions even if the collective "we" were vicitimized by a cult mindset. The ol' "whenever one finger points, three are pointing back at you" thing.

  Hugs

  Brenda
• 

  Jez

  Ditto to Xandria. Stop perpetuating the thought that 'we' left because 'we' did something wrong and should therefore confess. I never left, I got kicked out because I didn't want to get hit anymore by my wonderful JW husband. Left him, then shameshamedoubleshame, I met a loving wonderful WORLDLY man, we fell in love, boinked alot and then married.

  I hope my leaving, them seeing the injustice of it all and knowing how much I gave to that congregation and getting nothing in return when I needed it the most will help them see the truth.
• 

  jst2laws

  Joker,

  I think it is a fair question, but I'm sure the truth is different than what you expected. As Brenda said above it hurts many close family most when someone they love, even conditinally, leaves. If you are thinking we were mean to the friends and "beat the slave" I have not met one like that among us. We are the ones "beat' when we dared to take a stand.

  I have been told my leaving has caused a lot of grief in our local congregation. I regret causing anyone grief. Some still feel we lied in our TV and newspaper interviews regarding the JW child molestation problem which resulted in an immediate end of our relationship with many. However, if no one speaks up these problems never get addressed. How many people will be hurt if the molestation problem is not addressed.

  So to answer your question, I hurt many. Now can you answer, joker10, how many people are you hurting by not sharing what you have learned here? Are you really willing to share the blood guilt of the WT org by continuing your support by your silence?

  Jst2laws
• 

  shamus

  Cmon everyone, take the bait!

  [deleted]
• 

  LittleToe

  Far less than that caused to the families affected when someone gets sucked into the WTS.
• 

  harleyquinn

  double ditto to xandria and ditto to jez....i too did not leave...i got thrown out because i had friends in 'the world' and none in the organization...for some 'crazy' reason, i could not relate to the non-intellectuals that were in my congregation...go figure...

  I hope my leaving, them seeing the injustice of it all and knowing how much I gave to that congregation and getting nothing in return when I needed it the most will help them see the truth.

  very well said, jez....
• 

  hillbilly

  NONE.

  But those "Brothers" who are no longer welcome in my presence outnumber "0" by a large margin. Those who were or claim to be my "freinds" never came to my aid in any time of need... and many who had no cause did me great damage taking sides in battles they had no business being involved in.

  I know there ARE many good people still in that house of shamsters... but most of the ones I know are weak-kneed sons-of- bitches who need a good "roll in the gravel"... and every one I offered a butt kicking to tucked tail and ran... verbally, mentally and physically.

  I hope all you Bethel boys and your hometown cronies get this message... and stay the hell off my place, you are not welcome.

  Not Bitter.... just seeing things for what they are..........

  ------Hill
• 

  jwbot

  I KNOW I hurt people when I left. I hurt my mom and dad and family and friends...but they did not need to be hurt. If they had accepted me and did not have conditional love, they would not have been hurt. I would have loved them no matter what.

  Did I hurt anyone when I was in the congregation? I do not think so, I would like to think I am a nice person.

  Howabout you Joker? You hurting someone?
• 

  seattleniceguy

  Hello Joker,

  I'm pleased to see you partaking in the forum, and I would like to encourage you to answer your own question yourself as well.

  For my part, I did cause much pain while in the organization. I was a fine upstanding brother, which caused me to shun both my mother and father during the times that they each were outside of the organization, for a combined total of something like 10 years. These are 10 years of relationship-building with my parents that they and I can never reclaim. Really, an extraordinary loss.

  I also caused a much lesser degree of pain to my non-Witness co-workers by acting pious and rebuffing attempts to form meaningful friendships. I regret this as well.

  So you're right. In my case, being a part of the organization did result in harm to others, which I deeply regret. I am glad that I can attempt to live better now, and set things straight with those I hurt.

  SNG

  Edited to add: In terms of harming current members of the congregation, I'm sure that my unenlightened manner did not further their growth, but I don't believe it was any more harmful than the general culture. But in as far as I was a contributing member to what I consider to be a stiffling culture, yes, I also caused harm to members of the congregation. -SNG
• 

  candidlynuts

  other than the fact of poverty preventing me from buying their tupperware or home interior or herbOthe month i dont think i harmed anyone. course i could be wrong.