How much harm have you caused your congregation?

by Joker10 76 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nosferatu

    I don't think I caused very much harm when I left. I was a congregational outcast. People probably looked around and said, "Hey, that smear is gone!" My leaving caused harm to a couple of elders. One, who previously studied with me, came to the door and "lovingly" reminded me of all the great times we had out in Service (I really don't remember any good times.) He told me he loved me. Whenever another man gets emotional and tells me he loves me, it makes me sick to my stomach.

    The other almost burst into tears on my one and only shepharding call when I told him I didn't want to be an unbaptized publisher anymore.

    Other than that, I don't think anyone really noticed I was gone. Maybe except that sister who had a crush on me. I should have @#$%ed her in the ass.

  • Scully

    Apparently, I hurt them by leaving - they miss me soooo much!!! Yep, they miss me so much and are so traumatized by missing me that they don't call, or visit, or send a card.... and haven't for almost 10 years.

    It took me a while to realize why they would miss me - then it dawned on me - now they have to find some other willing slave to do their crap for them like cleaning the toilets at the KH, or fixing meals or helping with chores around the home for the pioneers and elders when they were ill, or driving people to meetings who didn't have transportation (and were too cheap to take a bus).

    I was once asked by a JW lady if I missed the congregation. I told her that at first, I did miss the "friendship", but when I realized how conditional it was, I knew I deserved better than that and that I stopped missing the congregation. Then I told her that I could never go back to those kinds of conditional friendships. The look on her face was one of complete devastation... like I'd slapped her across the face with a codfish.

    Love, Scully

  • Elsewhere
    other than the fact of poverty preventing me from buying their tupperware or home interior or herbOthe month i dont think i harmed anyone. course i could be wrong.

    lol... yes... I remember that too. Every congregation I went to had everyone running around getting involved in all sorts of get-rich-quick schemes, miracle cures, herbs, "natural" therapies, organic food, acupressure, reflexology, Amway... you name it they were doing it.

    They all loved to go on about how the "establishment" (Doctors, banks, big businesses, lawyers, etc) were all conspiring to take everyone?s money away... then in the same breath asked for money for whatever they were selling.

  • lawrence

    They were very shook up when I left - one brother threatened to pummel me for "being stupid and leaving." Many cried. The biggest issue was who was going to resume my 8 bible studies. Sure they resolved that, but I'm still uncertain why I don't receive Christmas cards from them...

  • jgnat

    Let's see, this last Sunday I noticed that one of the grandmas was brushed aside by the elder because he had "an important meeting". So I talked to her. The poor thing had an eye infection and she has decided to go to the doctor about it. I quoted a portion from the JW media site and she was mildly disturbed about where I got that information.

  • TresHappy

    Don't think I caused any harm, but I was a brat!

  • Carmel

    I know I was a thorn in the side of the Cong Servant for asking too many questions..don't think that "hurt the congregation" though. I probably raised the average IQ for the cong when I left, but it didn't seem to cause any distress other than the family....


  • shotgun

    Joker once again you've struck a sensitive nerve with me, my guilt is consuming me so I'll tell you the story.

    Several times while I handled roaving mikes over the years I passed gas at the front of the hall and quickly made my way to the back. I cringe when I think of the twisted faces and watery eyes of those poor brothers and sisters (luckily almost everyone sat in the back) I'm sure they thought it was the brothers talk coming to life as he described the air of this old world but in was a silent but deadly fart.

    You do realize a fart is as treacheous as aim them at your feet and they hit you in the nose!

    How diabolic is that...why..why..why did Jehovah give me this incredible power to silently spread evil.

  • pratt1

    I definitely cause harm to my fellow man. Every person I shunned because small minded men decided that some one was not worthy enough to be a JW. Every person I studied with and brainwashed to become a JW I harmed. Every child that I did not encourage to do well in school and pursue higher learning I harmed.

    And most of all, I harmed myself by believing that BS.

  • Markfromcali
    But what you don't say is how much pain you caused others while you were in. Nobody wants to blame themselves. No. Everybody is innocent. The Watch Tower made us do this and that.

    Well what is innocence then, as far as you're concerned? I mean is anyone innocent?

    Putting aside the blame game for a second, (whether it's self or others) what if it is just a matter of not knowing any better? We can blame ignorance, but can we blame people? What's more, does more blame help anything? Isn't the smart response to ignorance just to wise up rather than turn the direction of the pointing finger?

    The fact is the world does not revolve around you as an individual one way or another, neither does an organization as big as the Watchtower. Interpersonal dynamics would be different, it depends on the persons in question and their relationship toward each other. Are you talking about the relationship between the individual and the organization or just people? Sure some people might have hurt others on a personal level while they were in, then again that happens with life in general. What does that have to do with the Watchtower in particular?

    edited to add:

    Of course it can be compounded by the ignorance that is pervasive in that environment, but that's very different from blaming any person or group entity. Nevertheless, some people and organizations does lend them/itself to that state of mind by virtue of the beliefs they hang on to.

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