Totally comfortable......as long as it's not a same-sex psycho-hose-beast tryin' to get in my space, when I've made it clear that I'm exclusively hetero.
Frannie B
Does Being Around "Gay" People "Bother" You??
by minimus 170 Replies latest members adult
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FlyingHighNow
So DH, why not say then that birds of a feather tend to flock together?
About beauty, it's in the eye of the beholder. Babies do grow up and their taste in what is attractive does mature and change, if they are lucky.
I have friends of all colors, shapes and sizes and genders. I tend to be attracted to kind, non-judgmental, down to earth and different than cookie-cutter type people. I also tend to be drawn to intense and passionate people. I like a certain type of intelligence barring stuck-up, hoity-toity intelligence. My friends tend to be people that are a little odd or unusual and I do get along well with other types of people, too.
You'd have to be pretty obnoxious, petty, judgmental and mean for me not to like you.
I think it's healthier to find reasons to like than to find reasons to dislike.
Flyin'
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dh
So DH, why not say then that birds of a feather tend to flock together?
hi flyin,
i wrote quite a few long posts today, but the first paragraph of one of them said just that...
obviously i don't have friends that i don't get along with, otherwise they wouldn't be friends, and there are some things i find unattractive about a persons character, no matter how good everything else is, and that will put me off them altogether, likewise some things about me will put people off me altogether, and i accept that. it may be petty, but that is the nature of people, or maybe it's the nurture. not everyone will admit it, but birds of a feather do flock together, just there are lots of different feathers.
that was the brunt of what i have been saying all day, the only point which i seem to get nailed on is maybe because people don't read the long posts, but i explained in a lot of detail, certainly more than anyone else has, why i flock the way i do, and that i actually understand why i do something. i wonder how many people do know why they are the way they are?
the things i say are not a reason to find people not to be friends with, it's just that on this topic, it's about human nature, and i know my nature, and the nature of people, i also know i am straight, and i know the manner in which i flock, and what i am drawn toward, and maybe some people are unsure of themselves, their nature, or what they are drawn to, i am not. that's all.
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El blanko
LT:
I've searched myself to see if I am attracted to you and I can definitely say - no! ... same goes for other men. Although your beard has it's moments.
So then, you are an unorthodox Christian. How twee ... you chain-yanker.
(cough).
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FlyingHighNow
i wrote quite a few long posts today, but the first paragraph of one of them said just that...
You're a lot like me, I tend to get wordy at times and people probably skim and miss most of what I am saying. I didn't read all of your posts today. I only skimmed through the thread.
If you aren't comfortable with hanging out with certain people that's fine. No one should force anyone to hang with people that make them feel uncomfortable.
DH, when I read anything about people who have problems with people based on their looks, I tend to speak up. I guess sometimes I feel like a crusader against shallowness. I'd like to see a world where people open their eyes wider to people and who they really are inside, not outside.
Flyin'
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scotsman
DH
Your presumption that because I'm gay I'm pals with the other gay board members is incorrect. In real life (the board obviously being pretend life) I have only one or two gay friends, by far the majority of my circle are heterosexual. You can't just add water to two gay people and have an insta-friend. I agree with you that it would be strange to seek out friends with people on grounds of gender, sexuality, race or religion -
because though i am sure i will make new friends in life, of different nationalities, skin colours etc, i know that i do not need to, it is just something that will happen in due course if it is meant to.
It may be that in the course of your life you meet someone and become good friends with them before learning that they are homosexual - would you then terminate the friendship? From the way you describe yourself it sounds like you wouldn't.
I would add that your description of feeling kindred spirits to Muslim kids at school who had strict parents and were markedly different applies to me - me, the muslims, and the Christian Brethern were all friends due to exclusion from assembly. Your description of being made to stand out will also strike a cord with many gay youths who were picked on as school and who had the courage to stand up for themselves and can take the heat of being different, the beatings etc. You maybe have more in common with homosexuals than you'd care to believe.
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El blanko
It may be that in the course of your life you meet someone and become good friends with them before learning that they are homosexual - would you then terminate the friendship? From the way you describe yourself it sounds like you wouldn't.
SM:
That is a tough question to answer and I haven't been in that position myself, but I know that my own ideals would make me hold back to a degree, thus marring the friendship.
I have worked with a gay man and got on fine with him, although I would not have chosen to socialize with him aside from within the work place. He did however form the gay stereotype and was not exactly subtle in his outward display.
I have a working relationship with that guy I mentioned who owns the sandwich bar, no problem there either. We talk mainly about the weather - I buy a sandwich and that's that. (and no LT - I haven't got a problem with my sexuality by conversing with this gay man in public - you weirdo).
My internal standards I mostly keep to myself and would not dream of beating somebody over the head with them (in a twisted points scoring game). Unless I am asked directly and then I will respectfully stand my ground.
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minimus
I love lipstick lesbians.
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dh
It may be that in the course of your life you meet someone and become good friends with them before learning that they are homosexual - would you then terminate the friendship? From the way you describe yourself it sounds like you wouldn't.
i couldn't foresee a day when that situation would arise, largley due to the fact that i keep almost everyone at arms length or further, i think my activity on jwd probably even shows this, so as i run it through my head, i think for that situation to arise i would have to go through something pretty severe that would change my character and life completely from what it is now, and i have no idea what that could be, if anything.
my brother used to be like me, until he got df'd and lost all of his friends, then one of his friends at work turned out to be gay, but because of what he'd been through (losing friends) i guess he empathised and it never made a difference to him, they are still friends now. for me however, things were different, and because of my defensive and protective nature when i left the jw's i already had everything i'd maintained from from childhood waiting for me, friends, respect from people etc, everything people lose, becuase i guess subconsciously i must have seen it coming, so i was prepared and i lost nothing.
i don't know what could happen that would change my view, or make me choose to make a friendship with a gay person work, and it would have to be a conscious choice, i would need to think about it, but i think about everyone i call 'friend', and i would base my decision on something reasonable, not just the fact that they were gay or not...
having a gay son is perhaps the only thing that could change my reasoning entirely, and maybe that will be my test.
other than that, and as i am now, i think because of all the other factors that would be involved, a friendship between me and a gay person could not last.
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Country Girl
Doesn't bother me one bit. I am a born again Christian, and I just acknowledge only TWO laws: one is to love my God, and the other to love my neighbor as myself. Homosexuality was condemned by the god of the Israelites, but I'm not an Israelite. I'm a modern day Gentile. Even though I don't agree with it, I don't convict. It's God's job to work that out iwth the individual person.
To me, homosexuality is a non-entity. It matters not if a person is gay, because the sum of the person is not their parts. I love everyone equally unless they get on my nerves, be they straight or gay.
Country Girl