I don't know how to go about feeling that.
I do understand how you feel and I have grappled for something 'real' to hold onto all of my life as far as faith is concerned. Maybe the point of faith is to not have anything in the objective world of reality, yet to walk with eyes pointing towards the invisible realities? But for me, I have never been able achieve that for any sustained period of time.
It is only in recent years through a series of profound synchronicities and a surface study of the occult sciences that I have begun again to regain any trust in what we could loosely term as a 'spiritual belief' system. After walking away from the society all those years ago, I mostly cast the Bible and indeed any form of religion into the dumpster of my mind and got caught up in the world of drink/drugs/whatever and created my own material goals. My spirituality transformed into a power that drove me to despair through escapism. I had become in a way, a nihilist and I blame in part the JWs for this feeling of emptiness, due to their blanket stoning of any who falter and fall.
I would suggest if you have the energy, to maybe glance at books by authors like Colin Wilson (his Occult series) - they really helped open my mind to other possibilities again. I also, believe it or not, read through a series of graphic novels by Alan Moore (whilst smoking dope I hasten to add - which I no longer do) called Promethea. Alan is a practising magician and I found his world very colourful and at the same time thought provoking through the medium of comic art.
I still lean towards the Christian faith, as I believe when handled correctly it is truly universal and places a guide before us to treat ourselves and others with the respect we collectively deserve. Yet, I suppose I am a mystic as well in my adventures of the mind and retain an openness, mentally speaking, which I never had as a JW.
I am also a depressive and struggle to balance the various facets that govern my reality when I go down into the pits of despair.
My basic truth, is there is a God and that is all I really know. Beyond that, I study and keep my mind open.