:: I'm not sure I understand why.
Okay. I'll explain it again from my viewpoint. Keep in mind I am DF, I tried to fade, but they would not let me. Therefore, I have endured a LIFETIME of shunning, since I was 20 years old.
I was specifically told not to come to my parent's 50th wedding anniversary celebration. My wife-beater cousin was invited, and attended, but OH, he was never 'in the truth'. He is not 'bad association'.
My nephew got married about 3 months ago. I didn't even know he was getting married! Oh, and by the way, I have met him once in 22 years!
My brother has spoken to me once in 19 years, and that was to ask about my parents' will.
When I was sick, poor and hungry, NOT ONE OF THEM HELPED ME OUT, except for my parents.
Now, they want me to come to a funeral? Why would I want to?
They don't talk to me, they don't want me to share in any of their joyful occasions, I HAVE GONE HUNGRY AND MY OWN BROTHER DIDN'T CARE.
Why would I want to be around ANY of these people? Especially when I am grieving and need to be around people who love me.
That is what I see as healthy behaviour. I avoid abusive people. The JWs have abused me for over 25 years in the most heinous fashion, so they are persona non grata in my books.
I refuse to lay down and say 'Here, I'm a carpet, walk on me some more' by participating in their meaningless death rituals because they have decided it is the only time I will be considered 'family'.