Would You Go Back To A Kingdom Hall For A Funeral or Wedding?

by minimus 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • Amazing1914
    Amazing1914

    Yes, I would and I have already done so. I would not mention my ex-JW status, but instead let them draw their own conclusions from my big beautiful beard and other nice features. Devil 2

  • minimus
    minimus

    If a cong. member invited me to a "Christian " wedding at the Kingdom Hall, I doubt I'd go. But for a few friends that might die, I think I'd go out of respect....But who knows?? Maybe I'd get DF'd before that happens.

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    I've gone back, a couple of months ago, for a funeral. The reactions to my presence were pretty mixed.

    The only JW in my family is my mom. I think I can arrange to avoid the KH for a funeral when the time comes.

    As for a wedding, I don't think I would ever be invited to one.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost
    If the congregation chooses to have a service for Mom, when she dies, they can do so. The family will have our own.

    But what if all the family are dubs? A very sad situation.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Re: Funerals

    Something to consider on this is, if you went to a dub funeral, would it reaally help you in your grief? The message spoken (presumably) is not something that has any meaning for you and may only arouse feelings of anger and indignation - hardly the help you need at that time.

    So the only beneficial reason for attending would be out of respect or to give comfort to grieving family members.

    Ozzie

  • minimus
    minimus

    Yeah Oz. Anytime I went to a "worldly" person's funeral, the message did nada for me but I believedc I was there to show support to fam and friends.

  • ozziepost
    ozziepost

    Now the situation is reversed, eh?

  • talesin
    talesin

    Ozzie,

    Exactly my point. And since they show NO respect for me as a DF person, why would I show them any?

    Minimus,

    Actually, I have been to quite a few funerals at churches. Most of them had friends and/or family read eulogies; the Catholic ones had friends/family of the deceased reading scriptures and singing songs to their memory. I found them more comforting than the witless funerals I have been to.

    Also, there is more of a display of grief, in my experience. Yes, it was upsetting when my best friend's mother threw herself on his coffin, sobbing and screaming his name. On the other hand, it's much more natural than standing around calmly reassuring each other that we will see them again in the 'new system of things'.

    It's like the JWs are not permitted to feel REAL GRIEF. At first, I thought (of 'worldly folks'), these people are out of control, get a grip! Now, I realize that they are just being normal, instead of repressing their natural feelings because of a false resurrection hope.

  • minimus
    minimus

    I do agree that we were not allowed to grieve NATURALLY. Sad.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Yes, min, that is one of the things that hit me after many years out. I had to go 'back', and do some grieving for those to whom I had never really said goodbye.

    It's amazing, isn't it? Every once in a while, I'll get to thinking about something like this, and will realize how effed up I was. How warped a perception I had of the world, from being raised in the cult. To tell the truth, I'm still warped. heheh But learning to live with it. ;)

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