Do I really upset people on here?

by ScoobySnax 75 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  xenawarrior

  Aw Mark- don't worry, I won't take it the wrong way. I wasn't baiting Scooby or waiting to "bring him back down again". I was sincerely trying to understand what he was trying to get at. Just as you "got a feeling" from my post- many on this board "get a feeling" from Scooby's threads and posts and I was trying once again to understand what might be behind that.

  I've noticed a pattern for quite a while with his postings. He'll start a very provocative thread telling people what he feels they "should be" or "shouldn't be" doing, saying or thinking and many times this is delivered in a very condescending manner. He has even come out to declare what this message board should be all about and how, in it's current state, it's pretty much useless. This is just one of the things he said:

  This forum claims that it might help many who may not post yo make a stand. True one or two may post and be grateful in a month. But I think for a vast majority of both JWs and ex-JWs it is a bit of a laughing spot.

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/67316/1.ashx

  His thread then was entitled : "This forum......... What Benefit is it these days?" Instead of sincerely asking other board members what they think and how they benefit from this place he uses that thread as a platform to let us all know just how stupid he sees the whole thing and is quite insulting to other posters along the way, either indirectly if they do the things he's stating are stupid or more directly in their faces. During the above thread- as many others, posters attempted to "discuss" things with him and they take the normal conversational route by asking him questions. Questions he never answers.

  That thread is just one example. And it certainly isn't what I would consider "kindness", thus my sincere wondering about what his belief is about kindness- maybe that is the problem.

  What ends up happening in this pattern is that he'll post one of those threads and then when he gets the inevitable responses he then posts a "martyr" thread that is all about him and how others are picking on him. You are posting in one of those now. "Do you want me to leave?" Puhleeease.

  It gets old after a while and I really was trying to figure out whether he just has a really screwed up belief system about some things, coupled with a stunted communication style, or is it that he's just very lonely and he's learned this pattern as a means to gain the attention he so desperately needs.

  Oh, and good morning to you Mark !! Hope you enjoy your day !!

  XW
• 

  Celtic

  Aye cheers Xenawarrior, and it is too, a full on blistering hot bloomin lovely hot day, I've just done an hours landscaping in the neighbours garden, flowers and colour everywhere, ahhhhhh, tis gorgeous.

  Just look back along though Xena at my posts when I first was here, in that first year or so, I was soooo similar to Scooby, but its all part of the process, at least he's moving on in his journey and not staying stagnant, and he generally finishes his posts I think on quite a good positive note, ok, he pushes buttons, I did too, I still do, its just us being British, we can't help it being too intelligent for our own good, makes us appear really stupid too to other cultures. Just let him be, hes ok, nice guy, have talked to him on the phone before, like him a lot. Life would be boring without the likes of Scoob and all of you.

  Tis a ruddy lovely day out there, the sky is radiant blue with not a cloud in the sky, the trees are dressed in green leaves again. Butterfly's and bees flitter amongst the many perfumed scents. See that stone wall over there, wow, take a look at that, the stones are a beautiful hue. Down on the river, cascades of branches of trees tumble like waterfalls, dipping the ends of their toes in the slightly rippling waters below in the breeze. Here, lean over this side of the boat, see the fish in there, plop, oh look, one just jumped out the water, wowwwwwww.

  Love you too.

  Mark

  edited to take the ir out of their and to place in the word 'neighbours' .... garden
• 

  xenawarrior

  ((((Mark))))

  Just let him be? Please tell me how, politely asking a question of someone about something they posting in a thread they started- is picking on him? I would call that discussion. Did you read the thread that this one was born out of? And then it's alright for him to start a thread to ask a question but if anyone asks a question of him inside that thread they are picking on him in some way? Sorry, not buying that.

  And you don't get any special dispensation because you are British

  XW
• 

  CeriseRose

  There's been a few mentions of cultural differences here (i.e. British vs US vs Canadian vs ???). No, I'm not British but am living in a country and was raised in a household with strong British influence. No, not the same, but when I was in England I didn't find myself in a completely different paradigm to my understanding.

  My point? If we know/acknowledge that there are differences and potential communication 'glitches' that could occur, wouldn't it make sense that we would all try to be as clear as possible when talking to one another? I don't think Xenawarrior is too off the mark asking for clarification...notice she didn't make an assumption, call names or anything else 'bad'. And then comes the non-answer. And then the cry of being misunderstood again. (Well, of course there will be misunderstanding of someone's motives/stand/point if they don't explain it...and if they don't want to explain it then what -is- the point in posting at all?)

  Can you see how frustrating it might be? Even a little? I would think that if anyone (Scoobie included) wanted truly to get their point across, they'd spend the time to make the point, answer the questions that are put forward, and actually dialogue.

  My 2 cents.

  And Mark, it sounds beautiful there. My bf is in town with his new convertible PT Cruiser and we were looking forward to zooming about in the hot sunny weather we'd been having. And lo and behold...clouds, rain. *sigh* Enjoy your good weather!
• 

  outbutnotdown

  Hey Scoob,

  I have had differences of opinion with you but you don't "really" upset me, personally.

  I read this interesting quote one time, "I have learned silence from the talkative, tolerance from the intolerant and kindness from the unkind. I should not be ungrateful to these teachers, also."

  I think you could learn a bit from what Craig is trying to tell you as well, just as I have learned things from you. My feelings on why you act the way that you act is slightly different from Craig's but similar enough......... I would suggest that you may have "Borderline Personality Disorder", (since you seem to never really want to take responsibility for your actions, no matter how rude and offensive they have been in the past.) The JW religion itself has many traits that can be attributed to the same condition, BPD.

  But, IMHO, I think you are here to teach others.......... It is just up to the others here to understand that you have "issues" and that you really don't mean to "UPSET" them.

  You wouldn't have created this post if you do mean to upset people, would you? UNLESS, it is a self-serving ploy on your part to try to get support from some here and then to use that support to insult people like Valis.

  But that is up to each person here to decide for themselves, right????..... You would do well to accept that people who differ with you in opinion, are entitled to keep their's without you trying to minimize it all the time.

  Brad
• 

  ScoobySnax

  well I never knew I had BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), but aside from that.....

  Thanks all for your comments. I've taken them on board.

  Scoob