Why Aren't You at the Kingdom Hall?

by Robdar 75 Replies latest jw friends

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Q: Why Aren't You at the Kingdom Hall?

    A: I didn't feel like going.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Nos:

    I've already gnashed my teeth on the edible underwear :D

    Really, Nos, Why do you feel a need to share with the congregation that you are such a fornicating heathen? My sister told me to tell you that she is sitting here and has witnessed your confession and feels that we should go to the elders and tell them what you are up to. This is only because we are concerned and have much Christian love for you.

    I'll be back to address the rest of you smart ass heathens later.

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    Nos, I hate it when they get stuck in your teeth

    I'll bet that they also stick to your little devil horns....ya heathen.

    Umm.. Can I have a third option? I don't want to use anything that has been near a monkeys ass.

    Sirius, you are a wise heathen but a heathen all the same.

    *Sigh* Mustang,

    Just because I'm not an elder's wife doesn't mean that you are not a heathen. The sting of my insults are nothing compared to the sting you are gonna feel when Jehovah starts smacking you up. I am only telling you this because I have warm xtian love for you too--although I can't show it to you, you being a heathen and all. Come back to Jehovah's organization. We'll share the love and go out in service together.

    Let me see.. hmmm what do I want to do??? one the one hand I can go to the KINGDOM HALL on the other hand I can have SEX with my boyfriend

    So, we have another fornicating heathen who seems quite proud of her nasty behavior. Really, Sassy, you ought to keep your legs crossed and your eyes on the prize.

    I didn't feel like going

    Elsewhere,

    The day is closer than you think. Excuses like "I didn't feel like going" and "Ow, the seats are too hard for my delicate bum" will not get you into the new order. Better a little discomfort in this life than the discomfort of the second death. Think about that, ya heathen.

  • mustang
    mustang

    Sackcloth: Robbie- 100$/yard, all others- 10$/yard

    Ashes: Robbie- 100$/sack, all others- 10$/sack

    Teeth: Gnash 'em if you got 'em; Robbie's JC will yank hers before they finish with her

    Weeping: is still free of charge!!!

    Mustang, who is a: Purveyor (and Sales Agent) of religious artifacts and supplies for heathens and the self-righteous, alike; the Lord makes the rain fall on the righteous, the wicked and even Robbie

    Mustang

    Ya Gotta make a $ Class (taught by the WTS)

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    So, Mustang,

    You would charge me 10 times the going rate for sack cloth and ashes? This is highway robbery and further proof that you are a heathen. Fortunately for me, I'm not going to need them. But, if I ever do, they will all be free after Armageddon. Yep, Jah may zap your heathen ass but he will leave your sack cloth and ashes unscathed. Oh, and your house too. All the good JW will have their pick of whatever they want. Better to give up all your belongings now and pioneer. Jehovah will take care of you in the new system. It's not too late to come back to God's true organization, ya know.

    Robbie

  • bsmart
    bsmart

    Funniest thread ever!!!

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit